Getting up from Where I Stumbled and Rejoining the Great Current of Fa-Rectification
(Clearwisdom.net) I first obtained the Fa after July 20, 1999. In December of 2000, I went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong and was abducted by the police on my way there. The police beat me badly and tried to extort a confession. As a result of the beating, my left leg had bruises all over and my mouth was swollen. Later on I was sent to a detention center. It was very chilly winter. I experienced all kinds of torture, such as sitting on a cold board, eating very poor and insufficient food, no heat and no bedding unless I paid them money. The police extorted 800 yuan (1) from me and kept me from seeing my family. When they tortured my father to death (who was also a practitioner) they did not even allow me to pay my last respects.
I was held in the detention center for six and a half months and experienced severe mental torture. I was then sent to the Masanjia Forced Labor Camp for two years. That was an even more evil place. They deprived us of sleep. Under the severe torture, I wrote a "Guarantee Statement" (2) against my will. I was persecuted in Masanjia labor camp for exactly 50 days. After I was released, fellow practitioners came to my home to encourage me to continue cultivation. However, I thought Teacher would not accept me since I wrote the "Guarantee Statement." I knew that Falun Dafa was the only way to return to my original and true self, but I gave up on myself in despair. I was depressed for a year and a half and did not understand that Teacher did not recognize the arrangements made by the old forces.
'In the spring of 2003 I met several fellow practitioners. They told me to come back quickly and that Teacher was waiting for me. At that moment I had tears all over my face. Upon returning home, I still had fears and was afraid of being detained again if I went out to rejoin the Fa-rectification efforts. I calmed myself down and read Teacher's new lectures repeatedly. I understood that the old forces would not be able to take advantage of me if I had strong righteous thoughts. Thus I returned to the great current of Fa-rectification. I went out with my sister to post flyers, banners, and stickers. We handed out brochures and told people the truth about Falun Gong. We listened to Teacher's lecture tapes, practiced the exercises, and sent forth righteous thoughts each day.
One day in December 2003, someone from the township government came to look for me while I was not home. I realized that I should send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil. On the next day, those people came again but I was ready and determined not to let the old forces take advantage of my loopholes. They asked me to sign the statement. I told them, "You just don't want us to live a good life here. What kind of officials are you? I won't sign it. Take that stuff away." They were embarrassed and said on their way out, "It was the superior officials who asked us to do this." I realized that as long as I had righteous thoughts, Teacher would protect me and the evil would be eliminated.
Through studying the Fa during the past year, I understood that Teacher does not want to leave any practitioner behind,
"...if you fall, just get up and continue to do what a Dafa disciple should do. In that case the mistake you made will just be counted as a test you didn't handle well during your cultivation, you can try to get through it next time, and there will be more opportunities for you to pass the test again. That's all."
("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Vancouver, Canada, in 2003")
I hope that all my fellow practitioners don't repeat the same mistakes that I have made. We should all have righteous thoughts and remember the three things that Teacher told us to do -- Study the Fa and do the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts, and clarify the truth to save people. I also hope that those fellow practitioners who have come out late will participate in the Fa-Rectification and that new practitioners will share their experiences and thoughts with veteran practitioners more often to avoid detours on the way of validating Fa. If my fellow practitioners find anything improper, please kindly point it out.
May 28, 2004
(1). Yuan: Chinese currency. 500 Yuan is the average monthly income for an urban worker in China.
(2). Guarantee Statement: A statement to declare that one is remorseful for practicing Falun Gong and guarantees not to practice Falun Gong again, not to go to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong, and never again associate with any Falun Dafa practitioners.