Falun Dafa Has Truly Changed Me
(Clearwisdom.net) I am over 50 and have practiced Falun Dafa for seven years. Comparing my life before and after practicing Dafa, it seems that I have become a new person. Falun Dafa has truly changed me.
I was born with a very strong personality. Since my childhood I have studied very hard, always afraid of lagging behind others. After getting a job, I worked even harder and, very soon, I gained an admirable job and social position. Gradually, I began to put too much importance on my reputation, fame and being well known. I always looked down on others. When I was together with others, I always tried to be right, to not suffer any losses myself. I could not tolerate being treated unfairly to any degree. Of course, I would not forgive anybody if I was in the right. No matter if it was about work or everyday life, I always tried to be better than others. This took a lot of effort and, therefore, I always felt pressured, with the feeling of being tired all the time. Feeling envy towards others, I was also the envy of others, too. Whenever I was in conflict with someone, I had a policy that if you treated me badly I would treat you even worse. In such a vicious circle, my temper became worse and worse and it became easier and easier for me to get mad at others. Sometimes, I would boil with rage even when I was disciplining my child. This created a great deal of tension in our environment, and caused me much pain and suffering. Being a person of knowledge and reason, I knew that I should change my personality, but changing fundamentally is easier said than done.
When I first read the book Zhuan Falun [containing the teachings of Falun Dafa], I thought it would be too hard for me to be a practitioner, since it teaches that one should not fight back when being punched or cursed. Therefore, I missed the chance then and wasted another two years.
I began practicing Falun Dafa again two years later. This time I made up my mind to practice firmly. As soon as I made this decision, I began feeling and realizing the great power and miracles that come from Dafa.
Not long after I started practicing Dafa, I was involved in two car accidents. The first time, my bicycle collided with a mini van that came toward me. A car headlight was damaged and my bicycle was wrecked, but I was not hurt at all. At the very moment when the collision happened, I had no fear, only a clear idea that "I will have no problem." And it happened just exactly in that way. I knew that it was Teacher who was watching over me. The second time, as I was riding my bicycle around a corner, a mini bus came up from behind me and threw me on the ground in a heavy collision. The bus driver left the scene. As a man in his 50's, I would have been hurt seriously even if I was hit while walking, not to mention being hit while riding a bicycle. But I was not hurt at all, and I had no complaint or hatred toward the driver. This is also a miracle of Dafa.
After practicing Dafa, my physical condition improved very much. Before practicing, I had been suffering ailments continuously although I didn't have any big problems. Some of my ailments were persistent, such as neurodermatitis, which could not be cured completely by the hospital, even though I had used medicine for many years. Another problem I had was back and leg pain, which didn't yield to any treatment. Also, I had a problem with my neck. To cure it, I was trying to sleep without a pillow. On the average, I got a cold once a month. For the more serious ones, I would have a fever for as long as I had the cold. Medicine didn't work and my fevers never went away without treatment.
As soon as I started practicing Dafa, I quit taking all the medicine I had used before. Now, I have not gone to the hospital for seven years. This not only saves a lot of money for the country (since I have publicly funded health care), but it also makes me very healthy. As I have continued to practice, I can feel that my body has become purer and purer, which makes me more and more comfortable. This kind of miracle is something people cannot see or imagine; only a practitioner can experience it.
The elevation of xinxing (heart and mind nature, moral character) in practicing Falun Dafa, although not so obvious as the physical improvements, is a solid and gradual process. After going through a stage and looking back, I can also see my changes and improvements. Furthermore, these changes are essential and fundamental, and no outside force can reverse them. I still remember the time when I first started practicing Dafa and read Teacher's article:
"Forbearance is the key to improving one's xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator."
("What is Forbearance?")
I thought it would by no means be easy for me to reach this stage, since when faced with conflicts, I had previously been unable to endure anything because I was so concerned with saving face.
I have been requiring myself to live by the standards for practitioners, to lift my xinxing by overcoming the tests one by one. In the beginning, I endured with tears and sometimes I really could not maintain the standard; but afterwards I would realize that I had been wrong.
"Cultivation itself is not painful--the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain." ("True Cultivation")
I have come to understand this passage of Teacher's through hard lessons. After going through various kinds of tribulations for a period of time, I felt that my mentality had become totally different from what I had before. Usually I can keep my heart peaceful, without worry or concern, without complaint and hatred, and I always look inside when encountering conflicts. Sometimes while facing impolite and unkind acts from everyday people, I can "listen but not hear, and look but not see" (meaning "not taking the acts to heart.")
Before practicing Dafa, I regarded fame and personal interests as being relatively important. I always stuck to my own views. Governmental work units are very sensitive to politics. Qigong such as Falun Gong had many practitioners who were government workers and didn't want to be known as practitioners, even before the persecution began. [Note: the ideology of the Chinese ruling party is atheism. Therefore people working in government departments who are not atheist often try to hide their belief so as not to be discriminated against.]
After the beginning of the persecution, those who could not persist gave up. To persist in practicing, one must be a person who dares to lose all standing and reputation, and also has courage and a lofty realm. In 2001, because of the arrangement of the old forces, I was sentenced to one and a half years in a labor camp. Although tempted by fame, position, money and love from relatives, I never wavered in my belief in Dafa a tiny bit. The people around me didn't understand me, and some of them, who were kind and nice to me, felt it was a pity. After I got back home last year, a friend of mine was afraid that I might take things too hard. So he came to my home and had a chat with me, finding that I was open and cheerful, without anything weighing on my mind. He could then rest assured. (Of course, I took the chance to tell him the facts about the persecution of Falun Gong.) Sometimes while chatting with friends and hearing them complain to me about their monetary losses, I seemed to feel that I was not on the same level as they were, and felt that it would be really hard to be like them. In the past, I cared too much about money and, just as Teacher said, felt very happy if I got a little and painful if I lost a little. Now I just follow the predestined relationships in all situations. Being persecuted by the evil for several years, I lost tens of thousands of Yuan. Although I don't acknowledge the persecution, I also don't take the loss in human society to heart. I have even contributed tens of thousands of Yuan to my parents and brother to solve their living problems, and to settle family conflicts, helping our large family live in harmony.
I know that I am still far away from the standard of "Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance." The only purpose for me to write the above facts is to validate Dafa. I know very well why the persistent diseases both in my body and mind had been cured. Teacher said,
"Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Zhuan Falun)
As long as one behaves according to the Fa, holds righteous thoughts and keeps doing everything in a righteous way, Dafa can do everything for him. My changes and improvements have truly proved this. Falun Dafa has truly changed me.