I Am Our Magnificent Teacher's Disciple; No One Can Harm Me (Part 4)
9. Teacher Is Right by My Side
After going home I only rested for a day. Since there was nothing wrong with me, I went to the truth-clarification material site the second day and again actively engaged myself in saving sentient beings...
However, during that time, I gradually developed a bad mindset. Namely, I became attached to my ego and I thought that I was always right. Fellow practitioners in the truth-clarification material site also had the same attachment. Therefore, the conflict between us grew intense. I also had a strong mentality of accomplishing my tasks. Although I studied the Fa (1) everyday, when my eyes were reading the book, my mind was thinking about something else. We did not look inward when we encountered problems; instead, we blamed each other. We failed to harmonize with each other. As a result, one day, I left the truth-clarification material site in a rage. When I tried to start my motorcycle, I simply could not start the engine. At the time, I realized that I was wrong and that I should not leave. But when I returned to the house, a fellow practitioner was still in a huff and he again responded with unpleasant words. I just could not endure it anymore so I left again. While on the street, I made the mistake of using the phone booth to make consecutive phone calls to give advice to several people who had enlightened along an evil path and who had just been released. Consequently, as soon as I hung up the phone, a police car pulled over and arrested me again. Because of my attachment, I was taken advantage by the evil.
This time nobody touched me. They knew that they could not get anything from me. On my second day of hunger strike, I was picked up by policemen from the local Public Security Office. At the time, they sent me to a brainwashing center. No matter what, I simply refused to get out of the car and I resisted as they wrestled with me. When they dragged me to the big hall, my body began to convulse. They again sent me to a hospital for emergency care. I still refused to cooperate with their medical treatment. The police shouted angrily, "Don't you think about getting out with a hunger strike this time. You'll get a 20-year sentence." I replied with a smile, "When did your words ever count? It's my Teacher's words that count and it's my words that count." The five or six of them tied me to a bed by force and gave me an IV. I shouted in the hospital for over two hours, "I want to go home. I did not do anything wrong by practicing Falun Dafa." Afterward, whenever they came to give me an IV, I shouted loudly, "Falun Dafa is good." Finally, they could not do anything to me so they asked my family to pay 1,000 yuan (2) in exchange for me, which I firmly refused. I told the Bureau Chief Yang, "Because of your persecution, I did not make a dime for the past several years and my elderly parents have to take care of my two children who are going to school. Now, you are asking us to give you money. Do you still have a conscience? If you take a dime from them, I absolutely will not leave here." On the fifth day, they again released me unconditionally.
From this lesson, I saw more shortcomings in myself. I took the initiative to share experience with fellow practitioners. We all elevated ourselves in the Fa; therefore, we became even more mature and rational. We studied the Fa more, looked inside ourselves, let go of our egos and no longer blamed others. Instead, we harmonized with each other and made the work in the truth-clarification material site progress very well and smoothly. In 2002, our Fa-validation work indeed extended to each valley and field, mountain and hill. Truth-clarification material, banners, posters, and "Falun Dafa is good" could be seen everywhere. Later, we successfully installed 30 small loud speakers in detention centers, forced labor camps and densely populated areas in the city, powerfully shaking the evil. Soon after, the Province dispatched a work team and they claimed that they would find me and the key practitioner in another truth-clarification material site even if they had to dig 3 meters deep into the ground. Consequently, they put up pictures of me and the practitioner on major roads. They put up the pictures in the daytime and fellow practitioners went out and tore the pictures down at night. They set roadblocks at each street corner. They took our pictures with them and checked people's ID house by house. Yet, I was very calm and was not a bit scared at all. It did not affect our doing Dafa work in any way. Whatever we should do, we just went ahead to do it. Our whole area had increased our intensity of sending righteous thoughts. Practitioners all tried our best to spend more time to send righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil's interference.
One day, three men came to our building with a big notebook. We immediately sat down to send righteous thoughts with one thought in mind, "Do not allow them to search this unit." They stayed here for a week. Every telephone in each home was wiretapped. We could not go out and our truth-clarification effort was interfered with. We sent righteous thoughts for them to leave. Eventually, they really left without checking our unit. Although they checked the building so carefully, because everyone acted and thought righteously, the evil still could not find anything.
Nevertheless, the situation changed at the end of 2002. Because we had done well and were praised by fellow practitioners, we got carried away and developed the mentality of accomplishing a task, and we sought to create the situation with great momentum. This way our workload surely increased and we spent less time studying the Fa, and when we studied the Fa, we could not calm our minds. As our workload increased, we had to add more people and resources. Some practitioners had a very bad sense of safety and did not watch out for what they said, contributing to many unsafe factors to the truth-clarification material site. There were even practitioners with poor character who formed small cliques and diminished the righteous elements in our whole body. Eventually, the evil took advantage of our loopholes. At the end of 2002, two big truth-clarification material sites were ransacked in a row and seven key practitioners who made truth-clarification material were abducted. We suffered huge financial losses, almost damaging the work of Falun Dafa in the local area.
10. Hovering on the Brink of Death; Making It Through With Righteous Thoughts
Tangshan truth-clarification material site was almost in a collapsed state. It was the Spring Festival time in the year 2003, and Teacher published a new lecture. I was extremely anxious. My husband had just gotten out of a forced labor camp with righteous thoughts. We decided to go ahead and reestablish a truth-clarification material site. Because we still had many loopholes and the local practitioners were not in a good state at that time, three months later, the newly reestablished site was again destroyed. One after another, my husband and I, as well as another fellow practitioner were arrested. At 9 p.m. on March 30, 2003, another practitioner and I went back to the truth-clarification material site and were arrested by policemen who were already waiting inside the house. My husband had already been arrested. They knew that there's nothing they could do about me so they sent me to the Tangshan Kiaping Forced Labor Camp. As soon as I arrived at the forced labor camp I shouted, "Falun Dafa is good!" I shouted as I walked. After I was admitted, I started to convulse. They immediately did acupuncture on me and did an electrocardiogram on me. In the end, the forced labor camp refused to take me in so they again sent me back to the detention center.
In the detention center, I still held a hunger strike to protest. I firmly refused to cooperate with the authorities. One time when they force-fed me, I tried my best to struggle and not cooperate with them so that they could not force anything down. They beat me so violently that I passed out. They poured cold water on me to revive me, then, they continued to force-feed me. They tortured me like that five times and I passed out five times. In the end, they were unable to force down even a drop. They tied me to an iron chair and didn't release me for several days. They did not let me use the restroom so I urinated on the chair. It wasn't until they saw that I still had blood in my urine that they let me down. They tried to force me to wear a prison uniform when I went back to my cell. I told them that I was not going to wear it because I was not a criminal. The gang of cellmates forced me to wear it. I struggled with them and tore up three prison uniforms. They still could not make me wear the uniform. At last, the policeman said angrily, "If she does not wear it, just let it be."
Later, they force-fed me while I was unconscious. After I went back to my cell, my stomach was in severe pain. I kept vomiting water from my mouth that it left a puddle in a short while. I did not have a dime with me, nor did I have any napkin. The prisoners took out their napkins to catch the vomit, which were soaked very shortly. I did not know what they had force-fed me with. I again had blood in my urine and my whole body was in pain. On the seventh day, I suddenly started to vomit huge amounts of blood. At the time, the prisoners were very scared. They banged on the door and asked for the police and prison doctor. Meanwhile, Falun Dafa practitioners in different cells were also alerted. Yet, after vomiting blood, my stomach soon felt better and I was no longer in pain. After that, I was in a semi-conscious state. It was as if I had reached the limit of enduring the mental and physical torture.
I remembered one Saturday night when I felt extremely bad and I did not remember what happened after that. When I became alert, I thought about sending righteous thoughts. However, after saying "the Fa rectifies the cosmos," I could not remember the next sentence. Then, I again became unconscious. I could not tell how long it was before I regained consciousness. Then, I felt as if my life was about to end. I also felt my soul leaving my body for a while, then coming back after a while. Back and forth, I was in that state several times. Afterward, when I woke up again, I started to send righteous thoughts to eradicate the evil. I firmly said, "No one is qualified to take my life. I'm a disciple of Li Hongzhi." I thought and thought, then I passed out again. But once I woke up, I still maintained this one thought, "Who is persecuting me? I will not let you have my body. I am Li Hongzhi's disciple. Without my Teacher's consent, nobody could take me away." Then I said, "The Fa rectifies the cosmos...," but I still could not remember the next sentence. Then I fell unconscious again. When I again woke up, I thought about those Falun Dafa practitioners who died due to the persecution. So I told Teacher, "Teacher, do you agree to let them take away my physical body? Am I supposed to go?" Yet, after asking Teacher, immediately, I firmly said, "No, I absolutely will not listen to them. I absolutely will not take their path. I absolutely want my physical body. I still want to save sentient beings." After saying that, I again became alert. That night, I was hovering on the brink of death.
I finally woke up early in the morning. I was back. Finally, I rejected the old forces' arrangement with my righteous thoughts and returned to the cultivation path arranged by Teacher Li! I did not become another death case due to the persecution. I can continue to do what Teacher wants us to do. I am a "Falun Dafa practitioner" who assists Teacher in the Fa-rectification and who is envied by numerous gods. I felt extremely happy.
11. Simply Not Cooperating with the Evil
They sent me to Tangshan People's Hospital the second day. The doctor in the emergency room said that I could die anytime. But the doctor who examined me did not find anything wrong with me. Hearing that I was not sick, the policemen wanted to send me back to the detention center. But the minute I left the detention center, I sent out this thought that I would absolutely not return. Because of this thought, the doctor in the emergency unit just would not agree with the policemen as manifested in this dimension. He said, "If you want to take her away, you have to sign your names. I have nothing to do with this if she dies. If you don't sign your names, then you cannot take this patient away." They were afraid to take the responsibility, so no one would sign. The doctor then said, "If you take her away, you cannot admit that this patient has once been here in our hospital." At the time, the policeman angrily patted me and said, "Stay in the hospital!"
They took me to the cerebral angiopathy unit on the third floor. They tried to put me on an IV and I firmly refused to cooperate with them. A gang of several people came over and pressed me down, yet, they did not succeed. Afterward, the doctor asked all of them to leave so she could talk to me alone. As soon as they left the room, she held my hands. She was very concerned about me and said, "Do you know how serious your condition is? I suggest that you take this IV." I said, "I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. This is the 18th time I've been kidnapped." I then clarified the truth to her. In the end I said, "I'm a Falun Dafa practitioner. I'm fine. Don't worry." She held my hands with a firm grip and said, "Can you pull through?" I said, "Yes, no problem." After that, she took the medicine bottle with her and left the room.
One after another, the hospital patients came to see me after they heard that there was a "Falun Gong" practitioner in the hospital. I clarified the truth to them and told them that the "self-immolation" was not true and it was staged.
Because I refused to take any treatment, I was sent to a mental hospital after 24 hours. As soon as I got there, I sensed the horrifying atmosphere. Some people were crying, some were shouting, and some were yelling randomly. There were also Falun Dafa practitioners who were detained inside. In a hallway, I ran into a fellow practitioner with a feeding tube attached to her mouth. She looked like she was being sent to undergo a forced-feeding. I immediately told her, "If you cooperate with their force-feeding, you are cooperating with the evil. Didn't Teacher say that we should not cooperate with the evil in anything? What does it mean to not cooperate with the evil in anything? You are waiting to be force-fed, aren't you accepting the persecution?" Upon hearing that, the policeman hurriedly dragged me away.
They took me to a big room where there was only one big bed in the center of the floor. They put me on the bed and tied me up all over with ropes so that I could not move at all. Yet, as long as I could move my mouth, I shouted, "Falun Dafa is good. Falun Dafa is an upright way." After taking my electrocardiogram, they said, "This person won't live." They wanted to give me an IV immediately. But they could not find a vein anywhere on my body. After pricking sixteen times on my arm, they finally stuck the needle into a vein. When they turned their eyes away, I would remove the needle. The fresh blood kept dripping all over the needle. At the time, a nurse came over and pleaded to me, "Let me insert the needle. How painful you are now. If I don't insert the needle for you, you won't live at all." I said, "They ought to send me home. I demand that they release me and send me home unconditionally." Consequently, they were not able to give me an IV drip. I stayed there for another 24 hours.
Since nothing worked on me, they sent my sister the second day. When my sister saw me being tortured like that, she could not help but cry. I also cried. The doctor asked my sister to put my clothes on me. At the time, I felt weak all over. I could not move, nor could I put on my clothes; my voice was feeble and I was barely alive. Yet, I did not cooperate with the evil. I did not know where I got the strength when I struggled with them. A gang of several people could not handle me. It was indeed Falun Dafa's miracle and Teacher's protection.
They let my sister put on my clothes for me and let her take me home. I believed them. I slacked off sending righteous thoughts and went home with my sister. As a result, the evil took advantage of my loopholes. Indeed "a good or bad outcome comes from one thought." (Zhuan Falun) Cultivation is so serious. It looks like you have to reach the standard to make breakthrough at each level.
The chief of the local Public Security Office came with several policemen in two vehicles. They carried me out with a stretcher. I knew I was deceived when I did not see my sister following me. Although my head was clear at the time, I did not have any strength at all. I could hardly breathe and I could only utter words intermittently. My eyesight was blurry. Even with my condition like that, they still sent me to the forced labor camp. They said that they would have to get consent from the Province before they could release me and that I was a figure of focus in the Province.
When we arrived at the forced labor camp, they carried me in with a stretcher. As soon as I got in, I yelled, "Falun Dafa is good." Although my voice was weak, I just repeated these words. At the time I thought as long as I'm still left with one breath, I will say "Falun Dafa is good." In this way, I still did not cooperate with them. I struggled with them whenever they touched me. Consequently, I only stayed in the forced labor camp for a few hours. They examined my body and the result was no blood pressure and no pulse. They thought I was going to die, so the labor camp refused to take me. They had no choice but to take me home.
12. Rescuing My Husband and Saving Sentient Beings
My husband was sentenced to a forced labor camp in October 1999 and has endured three years of persecution and torture in two camps since. Yet, he never gave in. He later left the forced labor camp with righteous thoughts and again dedicated himself to the grand force of Fa-rectification after returning home.
Afterward, because he was busy with Falun Dafa work, he did not even have time to study the Fa. He seldom sent righteous thoughts. Because of his many loopholes, he was again taken advantage by the evil. On February 20, 2004, he was again arrested and sent to a forced labor camp.
During that time my husband harbored many attachments. When both of us did Falun Dafa work, we constantly had conflicts. Actually, this was the reason why the evil took advantage of him, and I too was responsible for what happened. Both of us have a strong personality and were attached to our egos. He wanted to do things his way and I wanted to do things another way. Neither one of us could convince the other. As husband and wife, we criticized each other rampantly. One time my husband moved out because he was angry with me. I suffered a lot at the time, feeling that cultivation was too difficult. I felt as if I could no longer do it. No matter how tough or evil it was, in validating Falun Dafa, I had never had that kind of thought. Yet, during that time, I felt that I simply could not pass the test between my husband and me. I was extremely upset.
Then, our compassionate Teacher gave me hints in my dream.
"You can only reach Consummation after you have abandoned all of your attachments and none of them remain." ("Cultivation Practice is Not Politics" Essentials For Further Advancement I)
I still had such a big loophole. How could I go home with Teacher? At the time, fellow practitioners also came to help me. I saw my own shortcomings. I repented deeply and made up my mind to change. So I found my husband and asked him to come home with me. Because my mind had changed, my husband also changed. He too searched within himself. In the past, I felt whatever he did was not right; and now, I no longer felt that way. Both of us had made improvements. However, sometimes we still could not handle ourselves well and still have not cleansed our minds completely. This was one of my toughest tribulations in my cultivation. Through this I truly realized that
"Physical suffering can hardly be counted as painful,
Cultivating one's heart is most excruciating."
("Tempering One's Mind and Heart", Hongyin) (3)
With my husband again in prison, I went through a painful reflection for several days. I was finally able to break free from the state of personal cultivation. From the perspective of Fa-rectification cultivation, I completely opposed the old forces' arrangement; the old forces should not persecute us even if we had loopholes; we should take the cultivation path arranged by Teacher. Therefore, I started the effort of rescuing my husband. In the process of rescuing my husband, I decided to use this opportunity to save more people.
I first asked a fellow practitioner to help me write an open letter to different levels of supervisors in our local area. The letter talked about the huge change in mind and body after my husband and I started practicing Falun Dafa, about the persecution we had endured for the past few years, and about my husband's critical condition in the forced labor camp at present. Fellow practitioners distributed the letter to people while I took this letter with me and went to the Public Security Office asking for my husband's release. I went to the Appeal Office to appeal. I clarified the truth to whomever I ran into and then I showed them the letter. Many people came to understand the truth and expressed their sympathy toward Falun Dafa and their indignation toward Jiang's regime. However, they dared not step forward to uphold justice for me and they passed on the responsibility to others. I went to many places they had suggested for me to go, for this was an opportunity to clarify the truth. Eventually, the section chief who was in charge of the Falun Gong issue said that she would not interfere as long as the forced labor camp was willing to release my husband. After I found the authorities in my local area, again and again, I took my children with me and went to the forced labor camp asking for my husband's release. Every time we went there, I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil elements in another dimension in the forced labor camp.
With Falun Dafa's power and our cultivators' righteous thoughts and righteous actions, what seems to be simply impossible from the perspective of human mind was eventually broken through one after another. For example, I heard that my husband and I were famous in the Province for being categorized as so-called "stubborn people." There was an opportunity for us to see each other openly in the labor camp. The camp had never allowed this before. With the policemen watching us, we shared our understanding of Fa-principles and how to let go of our attachments and walk away from the camp. The policemen did not stop us. They also said what we had said was well put and that we had cultivated well. After learning about our difficulties, one kindhearted policeman took 500 yuan from his pocket and insisted that my children and I take his money. This was really unimaginable. When we truly let go of our human thoughts and melted into the Fa, it was so magnificent that it was beyond description. There is nothing that the Fa cannot accomplish.
In the end, after confronting them over and over again, whether the situation softened up or toughened up,
"Just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations." ("Eliminate Your Last Attachments" Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Eventually, the evil could not defeat the good. My husband was unconditionally released. It is indeed true that what people say doesn't count. Teacher is watching over us. As long as our character meets the standard, we can accomplish anything. It is just like what Teacher Li says in Zhuan Falun,
"When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible. If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: "After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!"
I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998. I did not have a good education, nor could I talk about many Fa-principles. I just firmly believe in Teacher Li. I let go of life and death and follow Teacher. I did what Teacher says we should do. My mind is simple and I do not have that many notions. I have come to this point through wind and rain. With the presence of Teacher and Falun Dafa around me, when I look back, I do not feel that it was so difficult. I felt that Teacher had been by my side protecting me all the time. Without Teacher or Falun Dafa, what would I be able to do? Isn't all of this given to me by Falun Dafa? Actually, the Great Way is extremely easy and simple. If you didn't have that many notions, you wouldn't have that many restrictions, and cultivation wouldn't be that difficult. As long as you listen to Teacher's words, think and act righteously and let go of life and death, you will be indestructible like diamond and no one can harm you. In the end, I still need to listen to Teacher's words, and definitely do well the Three Things Teacher asks of us. I must walk well the final path and save more beings; fulfill the vow that I made in a pre-historic time. By abandoning all my attachments in order to achieve Consummation, I welcome the arrival of the Fa-rectification in the human world.
1) Fa - law and principles.
2) Yuan: 500 Yuan is the average monthly income for an urban worker in China.
3) Hong Yin a collection of poems by the founder of Falun Dafa, Li Hongzhi