Walking My Path Righteously in Difficulties and Hardships
To avoid being arrested and persecuted I was forced to leave home for quite a long period of time. Because I was busy doing Dafa work and had not organized my time well, I had little time to study the Fa [law and principles]. Even if I did study the Fa it was only a matter of form, so I did not achieve the purpose of studying the Fa, which was to truly improve myself. As a result I felt I was slipping further and further away from the Fa and I could not act in strict accordance with the standards of a Dafa practitioner when problems arose. I knew that I could not go on like that any longer for I would bring losses to Dafa; however because of being busy with Dafa work, I was actually in a state where I thought I could not do anything about it.
One day in mid August, I was arrested after being tailed and was brought to a district brainwashing center which was located in a concealed location. It was on the third floor of a guesthouse. At the entrance of the corridor there was an iron gate. Entering the gate, there was a suite. Iron bars were installed on every window of the suite. There were two guards in the room where I was held. These guards were called in from all the local substations by turns. Besides, there was one policewoman who was sent in by the police sub-bureau. She would even follow me when I went to the toilet. Outside the iron gate there was also a guard who was in charge of locking and unlocking the gate. Security for the entire third floor was very tight. The deputy head of the national security division of the police sub-bureau once said to me proudly, "It's impossible to escape from here." I knew that Dafa also contains extraordinary abilities and didn't take her words very seriously.
When I was first arrested my heart was not that stable and all kinds of human thoughts welled up in my mind. Because I was badly beaten up when I went to Beijing to rectify the Fa I therefore had a very noticeable attachment to the fear of being tortured. The thought that I would be sentenced, or could I endure the torture, frequently appeared in my mind. I was also very weak willed at the time. Under such circumstances I failed my test and confessed where I had stayed so the house I had stayed was searched. I felt remorse for failing the test and when I dug deep inside myself I found that the root cause was that I failed to treat the issue from the perspective of the Fa and gave tacit consent to the evil persecution. I kept telling myself that cultivation was a very serious matter and I had to use righteous thoughts to deal with everything and totally negate all the persecution arranged by the old forces. I had attachments but these attachments should not become the excuses for sabotaging the Fa. I am a Fa rectification period Dafa disciple and therefore would only follow the path arranged for me and would at all times do well the three things required by Teacher.
Members of the national security division of the police sub-bureau came to question me again. I told them that I made a mistake and could not make any more mistakes. I had no intention of cooperating with them any further and began to clarify the truth to them. Since then, I clarified the truth to whomever I met. The guards work in shifts and I talked to them shift after shift. When the people from the police sub-bureau questioned me I clarified the truth with them. The fear mentality was gradually easing and my heart was filled with compassion. Teacher said, "If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist."("Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)") The surroundings had also changed with the change of my heart. In the beginning they told me how they forced Falun Dafa practitioners to sit in an iron chair while they were handcuffed from behind. Later on when people from the city "610 office" [a bureau specifically created by the Chinese government to persecute Falun Gong. It has absolute power over each level of administration in the Party, as well as over the political and judiciary branches] came, I pointed out that it was illegal to extort a confession with torture and whoever did this must assume legal responsibility. They denied they had ever beaten people. I said I had been badly beaten up, the head of the "610 office" then tried to shift the responsibility onto others by saying, "Whoever did this I will deal with him." This showed that the evil factors are getting weaker, so they dare not do bad things openly.
During the detention, besides clarifying the truth I spent most of the time reciting the Fa and sending righteous thoughts. Teacher said, "If you are still unclear about what a Fa-rectification disciple is, you won't be able to step forward in the current tribulation, and you will be led by the human world's pursuit of comfort to 'enlighten' along an evil path." I am a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, so to help Teacher rectify the Fa and eliminate evil is my duty. Since the evil gave me the chance to eliminate them I must make full use of the opportunity to do so. Policemen from the city police bureau and sub bureau were all there and it was the best opportunity for me to send forth righteous thoughts in close proximity.
On the 20th day of my detention they notified my family to send in some daily necessities and money, saying that they would be sending me to a detention center. Prior to this I had been detained secretly. I knew this was an arrangement made by the evil to interfere with, and to try and make me waver in my righteous belief in Dafa. At that moment Teacher's Fa appeared in my mind, "Just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations." ("Eliminate Your Last Attachment") I had a new understanding of this sentence and I silently asked the Teacher to strengthen my supernormal powers.
I sent forth righteous thoughts continuously and whenever an evil thought appeared in my mind I rejected it instantly. Teacher said, "But it's not that you can't get rid of it. As I just said, even if sometime in history you did sign some kind of pact, if today your righteous thoughts are very strong, you don't recognize it, and you insist on not taking part in it, then you can in fact reject it." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U. S. A.") I was taken to the detention center. Upon passing through the iron gate I reminded myself that I should not waver but resolutely reject any arrangement made by the old forces, and firmly believe in our Teacher and Dafa. I also had the thought that I should not be locked up there because a lot of things were waiting for me to do out there. After some twists and turns, the detention center refused to accept me because I had scabies. When I walked out of the detention center I knew it was Teacher who had helped me. This escaping from custody heightened my belief. The head of the national security division of the police sub-bureau still did not want to drop the idea of sending me to the detention center. He said to me, "Will you confess? If you don't I'll have to send you in." I smiled lightly, knowing that what ordinary people say does not count. He made a few phone calls to look for his connections with no result. And finally he said, "OK, let's go back first and we'll try it tomorrow." I was taken back to the brainwashing center. On my way I observed my surroundings carefully once more and made up my mind as to the best way to escape.
Upon returning to the brainwashing center I continued to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil in the area. Three days later, early in the morning, I walked out of the center nobly and righteously right under the eyes of three guards. At present I am doing what I should do.
From this incident I have truly enlightened that the idea that being arrested means you have to be tortured and doing truth-clarification work means you have to be arrested and sentenced to imprisonment or forced labor is nothing more than human notions. Teacher said,
"The Buddha's Fa is most profound, among all the theories in the world it is the most intricate and extraordinary science. In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to mankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance." ("Lunyu" from Zhuan Falun)
Only by making fundamental changes in our conventional mentality can we more thoroughly reject the arrangements made by the old forces and firmly go on the path which was arranged by our Teacher and help to rectify the Fa. At the same time, through this lesson I have learned the seriousness of cultivation in the Fa rectification period. If I cannot be strict with myself that means I am irresponsible to myself, to all sentient beings and even more so to Dafa. I did walk out of the evil's den but there was no joy in my heart. I have discovered more of my shortcomings and the reason why I had been arrested. It was Teacher's merciful blessing that I was given another chance to do well. I must strive to do everything well.