The Results of Paying Better Attention to Our Own Behavior When Clarifying the Truth at Home
(Clearwisdom.Net) I have often heard practitioners complain that it's difficult to clarify the truth to our family members. I want to talk about my personal experience with this situation.
My wife, child and I have been living with my in-laws. They are very good to us but didn't understand our practicing Falun Dafa. They became annoyed whenever we clarified the truth to them and didn't want us to clarify the truth publicly. At one of our family gatherings earlier this year, we clarified the truth to our other family members. Because of our strong attachments to family feelings, there were intense arguments between us. At that time my wife's brother even threatened to report us to the police, and my father-in-law encouraged my wife's brothers and sisters to persuade my wife to give up Dafa. My wife cried as she told me all of this. All of a sudden I wondered, "Why are family members more difficult to save than other people?" Angrily I said to my wife, "The Fa saves people with predestined relationships. I told you the truth and you would not listen; I told you the consequences and you would not believe. We have run out of alternatives. If you will not listen, we will not bother you any more!" Teacher said,
"It prevents us from doing them well, and it also causes people in society not to understand us sometimes. So it not only prevents you from improving, but also causes Dafa some losses."("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
My family environment was difficult at that time, and I knew this was a test. I realized that, as Falun Dafa practitioners, we should first look at ourselves. After checking ourselves we realized the following: 1) We didn't do a good job in studying the Fa so we couldn't respond to our family's questions with good answers. 2) We were not polite when we clarified the truth to our family members. We were argumentative and lecturing. 3) We should be able to do better in our daily life and pay more attention to our families. I knew that this conflict was a good thing for our cultivation, but we didn't have a deep enough understanding about it.
I improved quickly after we strengthened our Fa-study and attended many small experience-sharing conferences. I was truly able to identify my own problems. Just as Teacher said,
"When you do well in the Fa-rectification, I can see that it's always because you are able to understand the Fa from the Fa; and when you do somewhat poorly, I can see that it's because you aren't making a priority of Fa-study and you aren't able to understand the Fa from the Fa." "You are cultivators, whose conduct is [supposed to be] pure and righteous. There are so many people who think you're great just by having seen how you act. If we don't pay attention to our own behavior in our daily lives, everyday people will see our actions and, since they can't get to know you at a deep level such as by studying the Fa, they will just look at how you act. And it's possible that one sentence or one action of yours will make them unsavable or create a bad impression of Dafa." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
Therefore we cannot ignore our behavior at home just because of our feelings towards our families. We cannot continue to clarify the truth to our families if we have attachments. We can't assume that our family won't care how we act and therefore we don't need to consider their feelings. Also, at home we are representing Falun Dafa and Falun Dafa practitioners. Therefore, what we do and what we say will directly influences our families.
These are my thoughts now: Within the family, am I a participant or just a person standing by? Am I neglecting family responsibilities by using busy with work or Fa-rectification activities as an excuse? Am I ignoring what my family members do just because they are ordinary people? Am I really compassionate towards my family? Am I assuming relatives should naturally support us? Am I feeling that family members won't be affected by evil factors in other dimensions?
Actually, the old forces just want to impose tests on Falun Dafa practitioners in the persecution they have arranged at every level. We ought to firmly and completely deny them. At the same time we should increase the number of times that we send forth righteous thoughts and improve the quality of our sending forth righteous thoughts (we could never just finish the job) to thoroughly erase the evil factors' influences from other dimensions towards our families. Since I have changed my notions, I actively communicate with my family and seek to increase their understanding of Dafa. I use Dafa to rectify their non-righteous thoughts and, at the same time, we use our purest and most unselfish minds (mercy) to tend to family life and help with family affairs. Everywhere, we conduct ourselves as Falun Dafa practitioners.
After half a year's continuous effort, our family environment has greatly improved. Now, not only will our family members listen to us clarify the truth, but they will also listen quietly as I experience-share with my wife. At the same time, we guide our family to generate righteous thoughts. Previously, out of fear and family sentiment, they would stop us from going out to clarify the truth Now they understand that families cultivating Dafa are not guilty, that those clarifying the truth are not guilty, that evil persecution is never allowed, and that we should firmly resist police ransacking our homes and kidnapping family members who practice Falun Dafa.
August 10, 2002