July 28, 2001
I shall step out of being human, safeguard the Fa with determination, and be a good Dafa particle.
After the evil gang of Jiang Zemin began the persecution of Falun Gong on July 22, 1999, I declared publicly that I would continue to cultivate Falun Gong. I went to appeal several times and I was illegally taken into custody. I was sent to a labor camp for one year of "forced-education."
During the one year and four months' detention in the labor camp, I suffered inhuman treatments and tortures, such as: force-feeding, brainwashing, sleep deprivation, shock by several electric batons at the same time, forced to squat on my heels from 5:30 AM to 8:30 PM for 7 days continuously during vacation time, and being framed with false charges.
I was watched by other prisoners (non-practitioners) 24 hours a day and I almost had a nervous breakdown under the terrible mental and physical tortures. The labor camp sent me to a mental hospital to have a check-up. They were trying to find false excuses to leave me in the mental hospital, so that they could lie and say that "Falun Gong caused me to have a nervous breakdown." My true nature knew it clearly, so I didn't cooperate with them. I clarified the truth to the hospital's doctors. Then they said that I was as stubborn as granite. Since they couldn't find anything wrong with me, they had to send me back to the labor camp.
A few days later, I was sent to a "Discipline Room." A chief guard and another guard put handcuffs on me in a frenzy and then they started to hit me with electric-batons on both sides (left and right) of my body. Then several guards took turns hitting me with electric-batons.
This was during my menstrual period. I was shocked rolling everywhere on the floor with my teeth biting tightly on my tongue to endure the pain. I could see blood coming out of my mouth. At that time, the chief guard shouted, "Make her break (from Falun Gong). Practitioners even tougher than you had to give up within 10 minutes. If you don't write the 'renunciation letter' [to give up Falun Gong], we'll send you to a small cell and let rats bite you. We have to be hard on you."
By that time, I had reached a point that I couldn't endure any more, so I wrote a "renunciation letter." They made me put my fingerprint on the letter because they thought that I might deny what I wrote. Thus, I was forced to write the "renunciation letter." At that time, I felt miserable. My heart cried out in agony, "Where is justice!"
After I got home, I was very depressed. Disease karma came back to my body, I had no money because my work had not resumed yet, and I was abused by my family in-law. In the midst of agony, I didn't forget Dafa and I didn't forget our Teacher. I recalled the mental and physical benefits I had obtained from cultivation of Falun Gong, and I recalled the affirmation my supervisors gave toward my work after July 22, 1999, "Han Cuiyuan is a good worker." All of these are a credit to Dafa. But what did I do under the high pressure?
I begged Master Li to give me, a sinful disciple, another chance, and then I received a few of Master Li's New Articles like "Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts" and "Dafa is Indestructible."
I realized that what I had done was due to the intense persecution and it caused damage to Dafa. But Master Li doesn't acknowledge the things arranged by the evil old forces, so I cannot acknowledge these either!
After examining what I underwent, I came to a conclusion: My main spirit must be very strong so that I can face the evil with righteous thoughts at all times. I should always consider Dafa as the most important thing, my mind must be upright. "With attachments left behind, the lightened boats sail swiftly, with a preoccupied human heart, crossing the ocean proves arduous." ("The Knowing Heart") I shall remember what Master Li said in the new article "Dafa is Indestructible": "A Dafa disciple completely opposes everything arranged by the evil old forces."
Through that one year and four months' persecution, everything made clear to me that what the evil forces have done (by using bad people) has truly had the effect of destroying the beings and persecuting Dafa. They were trying to damage Dafa disciples' righteous faith, righteous action, righteous enlightenment and righteous thoughts. However, "Coercion cannot change people's hearts." Lies can only make evil deeds more conspicuous.
I hereby solemnly declare: Everything I said, wrote, and did against Dafa is null and void --- everything was done under intense persecution. I will do my best to put myself into Fa-rectification activities --- to clarify the truth, expose the evil, send forth righteous thoughts to eradicate the evil, and become a determined Dafa particle so as to redeem the losses I have brought to Dafa.