I took up my pen when my heart felt extremely heavy. I don't know how many tears I have shed due to the regret I have felt for what I have done. I have abused the compassionate salvation of our teacher who has endured so much for every sentient being. Our teacher's great compassion gives me another opportunity to repent and make up for my mistakes. Thank you, Teacher!

I started to learn Falun Dafa in June 1995. At that time, the setbacks and misfortunes in my life and my broken family had driven me towards despair. What is the true meaning of life? Why are we here? When my desperation peaked, I came across Falun Dafa. Falun Dafa rescued me from misery. Holding the book, Zhuan Falun, I felt a great sense of excitement and joy. I vowed to strive forward diligently in cultivation, persisting until completion, and returning to my true self.

On July 22, 1999, when the overwhelming evil forces launched the persecution upon Falun Dafa and our teacher, I led fellow practitioners to practice at our usual site. Four times we went to Beijing to appeal and were illegally arrested and detained by Beijing police. After being sent back with local police I was detained for 15 days on criminal charges and then sentenced to three years of forced-labor at the Masanjia Labor Camp. While in the labor camp, I continued reciting Teacher's words and practicing Falun Gong exercises. Whenever I recited the Fa [teachings of Falun Dafa] or practiced the Falun Gong exercises, the guards immediately revealed their true evil nature and used their electric batons. They encouraged other inmates to swear at me and beat me, as well as used other methods of punishment. I was forced to stay outside in the snow (winter temperature at Liaoning is usually about 4 20 F below freezing). They adopted the most cruel and evil methods to torture me. However, my belief in Dafa remained unmoved. I held a hunger strike on three separate occasions, to defend the Fa and went out to the veranda to practice the exercises and recited the Fa [teachings of Falun Dafa] aloud. Each time I was degraded and verbally abused by the guards and ruthlessly beaten up by other prisoners. Whatever suppression and persecution I faced, I never had any doubt about Falun Dafa and our teacher.

However, the evil forces were diligent and their subversive techniques escalated. They brought a batch of hired thugs to work on us separately. After we practiced the exercises and defended Dafa time after time, the situation did not seem to improve. At this time, I was unable to see things from the perspective of Dafa.

In the article "Expounding on the Fa ", Master Li said, "...Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely from your human side. Evil demons then take advantage of this point and inflict endless interference and damage, leaving practitioners in long-term tribulations. As a matter of fact, this results from an inadequate understanding of the Fa by your human side....". I became confused and was unable to practice Falun Gong openly and nobly. Eventually I stopped studying and practicing Dafa. At this time, the demons made use of my loopholes. I was deluded by their lies and claimed that we should practice cultivation while conforming to everyday people as much as possible, and become selfless and altruistic. I misunderstood what Teacher taught and enlightened Dafa along an evil path. I arbitrarily added my own understanding to Teacher's words and became further and further away from Dafa.

Teacher said, "I have told you to practice cultivation while conforming to everyday people as much as possible. I have never said that you should conform to everyday people as much as possible [in and of itself]. If you are no different from an everyday person, are you still a cultivator?" When one truly takes oneself as a particle of Dafa and dissolves into the process to validate Dafa, this is genuine selflessness and altruism.

When I finally awakened to this understanding, the first thing I did was to help other deluded practitioners in detention. I told them not to listen to the evil lies of Masanjia, but to take Dafa as our teacher, and strengthen our belief. I tried numerous ways to expose the evilness of Masanjia Labor Camp. I made solemn statements to the supervisor of Masanjia Labor Camp that I would withdraw the so-called transformation materials, and at the same time let them know that Falun Dafa is the Great Law of the Cosmos. Now I am trying to reveal the truth to all people in various environments, stepping forward from my human side, actively suffocating the evil forces, and keeping up with the pace of Fa rectification.

Why is Masanjia Labor Camp so evil? Falun Dafa practitioners should not be deterred by Masanjia's mistreatment. No matter how evil the environment is, the crucial thing is whether we can remain firm in our belief in Dafa. "The Fa can reveal all attachments, the Fa can eradicate all evils, the Fa can expose and dispel all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts...." Those people who had enlightened to Dafa incorrectly and went astray, abused, beat, swore at, and inflicted various types of physical torture on the firm practitioners. They prevented practitioners from sleeping and forced them to continually work for over a dozen hours a day to cooperate with those evil forces to persecute Dafa practitioners. Have you ever thought about it? Why did those evil forces treat you with such hypocritical kindness when you stopped studying the Fa and practicing the exercises? Why did they treat you so viciously and suppress you as soon as you started practicing? Do you know why? Weren't they trying to stop you from completing cultivation? Teacher said, "Isn't any pressure a test to see whether your faith in the Buddha Fa is fundamentally strong? If you still are not fundamentally resolute in the Fa, everything else is out of question."

Our teacher said, "Regardless the state of purity of a being, the Law does not change. Put it this way, the three words Truth, Compassion and Forbearance shall always remain as Truth, Compassion and Forbearance at any time. You cannot pronounce them as something else. Isn't it right? As for how far away a being deviates from its standard, it is the problem of that being. Therefore, by using the Law, the unshakable Law as a reference, we will continually rectify the beings that have deviated from the Law. This is called perfect harmony."

My understanding has grown significantly. With my heart and tears, I write down this experience, wanting to share it with other practitioners who have deviated from Dafa like me: Please wake up as soon as possible! Expose the truth about the Masanjia Labor Camp, and dissolve into the current of Fa rectification. Let's double our efforts to clarify the truth and recover the losses we have caused.

A Practitioner from China

December 2000.