Some Thoughts on Gains-of-the-Heart in Cultivation
In the past, I always thought that I cultivated myself in Dafa so steadfastly that nobody, not even my old parents, who didn't understand Dafa and feared the government, could shake my heart or do anything to me. However, after comparing myself with fellow practitioners, I discovered where I fell short. I didn't have enough compassion, which is extremely powerful. "Pacify the external by cultivating the internal" (Essentials for Further Advancement). The only way to rectify the outer environment is to first cultivate myself well. "Indestructible righteous thoughts toward the cosmos' Truth form benevolent Dafa disciples' rock-solid, Vajra Bodies; they frighten all evil, and the light of Truth they emanate makes the unrighteous elements in all beings' thoughts disintegrate. However strong the righteous thoughts are, that's how great the power is." ("Also in a Few Words") The environment at home had not been rectified and I knew that I should seek the reason from inside myself.
Also, in my "firmness" there was "selfishness" hidden. Otherwise, how could a pure and compassionate heart be powerless to influence my own parents?
Before, in validating Dafa and revealing the truth to the public, I always searched for words that I thought my listeners might accept. I made my points indirectly. I dared not use the original words used in Dafa to talk with my listeners, fearing that they might not accept them. However, in a detention center, I listened in person to a fellow practitioner as she spread the Fa and revealed the truth. Her voice was soft, and her language was vivid and cordial, which moved her audience. Hence, her audience willingly accepted what she said. Almost all of the words she used were the original words used in Dafa and she handled them very skillfully.
It turned out that she could recite almost all of Teacher's new articles and the content of Hongyin (a collection of Teacher's poems). With a deep and thorough understanding of Dafa, she melted herself into the Fa and, therefore, spoke powerfully and convincingly. However, I could recite too little from the Fa to handle it skillfully and speak powerfully. "The Fa can reveal all attachments, the Fa can eradicate all evils, the Fa can expose and dispel all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Deter Interference") I didn't do well. My talking was not powerful and convincing because I didn't study the Fa well. I didn't study deeply in order to thoroughly understand the truth that Teacher's lectures and articles are the guidance of our cultivation. Then, how could I make good progress in my cultivation?
From now on I must double my effort to study the Fa well and try to understand the Fa from the point of view of the Fa itself; I will cultivate myself under the guidance of the Fa, forming my new life in the Fa-rectification and reaching Consummation.
A fellow practitioner steadfastly cultivated himself in Dafa, but his wife tried in every possible way to keep him from practicing. She would cry, verbally abuse him, beat him, and even use a knife to cut him. However, this practitioner had no hatred toward or complaint against his wife. Instead, he showed much sympathy and loving care for her. Finally, his wife said, "I cannot change you, I'd better change myself." She then started to practice cultivation.
In his article "Also in a Few Words", Teacher said, "Indestructible righteous thoughts toward the cosmos' Truth form benevolent Dafa disciples' rock-solid, Vajra Bodies; they frighten all evil, and the light of Truth they emanate makes the unrighteous elements in all beings' thoughts disintegrate. However strong the righteous thoughts are, that's how great the power is."
When I looked at my situation in rectifying the environment at home, I found selfish motives hidden behind my conduct and I failed to develop great compassion and benevolence in the bottom of my heart. How could I be spiritually strong enough in my cultivation?
Due to my very poor ability to understand the Fa, I had made many mistakes and delayed my cultivation progress. Seeing my bitterly remorseful tears, a fellow practitioner said, "Let bygones be bygones. Don't let bygones become attachments. Get a new start in everything from now on."
Teacher said, "Isn't it an attachment if you burden yourself with thinking about it? So how can this attachment be removed? Haven't you self-imposed an additional tribulation on yourself? Won't you have to suffer more to give up this attachment? Every test or every tribulation is related to the matter of either progression or regression in cultivation. It is already difficult, yet still you add this self-imposed tribulation. How can you overcome it?" (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six, "Your Mind Must Be Right")
Therefore, as long as we can find out the attachments and get rid of them, it would be an improvement in our cultivation. We can never be attached to the past mistakes and slips to let our pessimism and disappointment become new attachments. We are practitioners and the only thing we can do is to "strive forward with every effort until Consummation." ("Enlightenment")
There was a practitioner who, on the very day that the Assistant of her practice site was arrested, started suffering from pain in her legs for no reason. The pain lasted for one and a half years. One day this year, she felt that she had conducted herself so poorly in her cultivation that she must step forward to do something. So, she took two sheets of truth-revealing flyers and went out to distribute them on the street. Just after she finished, she was arrested. Having entered the police station, she suddenly felt no pain at all in her legs and realized that she should have gone forth long ago.