Lessons: A Solemn Declaration Written In Tears
September 10, 2001
In April of this year, I was illegally sent to a labor camp in Shandong Province. Because I could not let go of my attachments, I was not only "transformed," but also did many bad deeds under the control of the evil. When I did not have a righteous mind, and when I could not extricate myself from the evil's quagmire and fell in deeper and deeper, our benevolent Teacher gave me hints for my improvement many times. Through studying the Fa, my mind gradually became clear; I eventually got rid of the evil's control over me, and found my true self. When I reviewed the past and found out the reason for my "enlightening along an evil path," and when I wrote this article in tears, I hoped from my heart that fellow practitioners would draw lessons from my experiences and not go in the wrong direction.
Once I stepped into the labor camp, the betrayers of Dafa immediately surrounded me. The first thing they asked me was: "Do you know what place this is?" I answered: "Labor camp." They asked me again: "Why are you here?" I was speechless. They told me: "You are here to be transformed." I replied: "Maybe I will be transformed by you; but maybe you will be transformed by me." Actually, this thought was totally wrong because it was not based on the Fa principles. Because Dafa disciples are future enlightened beings that are unmovable like diamond, how could they also be transformed by evil? These two "maybes" exposed my unclear understanding of the Fa principles and told the evil that I was possible to be "transformed."
In contrast, a practitioner from Changyi County "steadfastly cultivated Dafa with the heart unaffected" even though the evil police in the labor camp had tortured him for over a half a year in various ways that were too horrific to look at. These vicious beings didn't let him sleep and assaulted him with evil propaganda day and night. He did not take in those evil things at all; he did truly turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to them. The demons in the labor camp were terrified at the sight of him, and could find no way out. "Having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations." (Eliminate your last attachment(s))
When I felt that those evil words seemed a little reasonable, and I inwardly wanted to accept them, evil started to control me. Though Teacher had given me hints clearly, I had completely enlightened along an evil path and thought that I should be transformed. Once that kind of thought emerged, evil things all came to interfere with me and conjured a false appearance of "sudden enlightenment" for me during the afternoon of the second day. Then four or five evil villains surrounded me. I didn't hear anything they said, but suddenly four verses of a poem flashed in my head, and then I started to cry. Afterwards, my mind was completely taken over by evil. A while before this false image of "sudden enlightenment" had deceived me, confused me, and obstructed me. Later, I read Teacher's Lecture on the Fa at the Washington D.C. International Conference: "because any desire you have can become an attachment and can be used by evil. As soon as that kind of thought emerges, the evil might conjure a false image for you, and this will then cause interference." Actually, what Teacher said was precisely about me. Your whole course of cultivation is all based on your faith. A momentary slip that produced serious consequences almost made me a guilty person forever. How extremely dangerous!
When I was preparing to write this article, the evil often interfered with me. It made me lazy, made me satisfied with the existing state of affairs, and made me unable to achieve a tranquil mind while doing the sitting meditation. It still wanted to control me. I realized that my course of action hit precisely at the evil's vital part and made its last attempt to persecute me end in failure, and the interference disappeared at once. My mind felt extremely relaxed and extremely clear. Therefore, I solemnly declare as null and void everything that I said and wrote when I was not in my right mind due to intense persecution. I am determined in cultivation. I will firmly grasp the limited time Teacher has given us, expose the evil, and redouble my efforts to make up for my mistakes in clarifying the truth.