Attaining the Fa in Adversity and Cultivating with Determination -- The Path of My Attainment of Dafa
(Clearwisdom.net) If half a year ago someone had told me that I would become a Falun Gong practitioner, I would have certainly been terrified. I live in an area where the evil is most rampant. Over the past two years, what I heard and saw was all various lies made up to slander Falun Gong. On countless occasions, I saw from the news media how "scary" Falun Gong was, and it seemed as the message was that anyone who practiced this would commit murder, suicide, or self-mutilation. With everyone speaking of the "Fa" [Falun Gong] with great fear, I was also afraid that I was not far away enough from it.
One day, my sister, who lives in the U.S., told the family that she had started to practice Falun Gong. The whole family including me became very panicked. We all warned her and also challenged her by using the propaganda of Jiang Zemin's government. This dispute between the two ends of the phone line lasted for nearly a year. The health condition of my parents, who already suffered from chronic diseases, became worse. None of us could understand why my sister, who is always rational, could believe in a "XX [slanderous words omitted]!"
My sister is a very responsible person. She is honest, kind, and bright. Because of her long-time hard work, she received a very high academic degree and had a lot of accomplishments, but at the same time she was also afflicted with serious neurasthenia [Note: a pattern of symptoms including chronic fatigue, sleep disturbances, and persistent aches, often linked to depression.] She had an introverted character and made excessive demands on both herself and the surrounding environment. I remember that if someone bad-mouthed her with one sentence, she would not be able to sleep at night. My parents' criticism would make her cry. Frankly speaking, she had a very fragile and sensitive disposition. However, when our whole family tried to stop her cultivation and even scolded her with very harsh words, her calmness and determination surprised me. Not only did she calmly discuss her belief again and again, she also said many principles that astounded me. My father's exasperation and scolding did not make her lose sleep. When my parents threatened to break off their relationship with her, she was still very calm and kept trying to explain to us. She told me that all her illnesses had completely disappeared. Although she was on the other side of the ocean and far away from us and I could only hear her voice and read her emails, I could tell that all her changes were true, because for the past twenty-some years, I have never heard her lie. Besides, she has a strict and rigorous attitude toward life and she is extremely serious in her studies, so it would be impossible for her to join some "XX [slanderous words omitted]," as the Jiang Zemin's propaganda calls it. Her changes made me think.
I strongly wanted to read that book, Zhuan Falun, hoping to know what had caused her changes. However, it was almost impossible to find this book in China. When my sister learned about this, she immediately sent the electronic version of Zhuan Falun to me through the Internet. With doubts in my mind, I began to read it for the first time. To be honest, it did not immediately attract me at the beginning, since every day from CCTV news [the main media run by the Chinese government] I would hear bad news about Falun Gong. I was afraid that if I read the book too much I would really kill myself or another person. After more than a month, I finally finished my first reading of the book. It was unusual for me, being good at speed reading, to take such a long time to finish a book. However, a miracle happened; my chronic gastroenteritis was healed. Living a fast paced and competitive lifestyle for a long time, I had always felt tired both physically and mentally. But at this time, I felt serene and harmonious, as if a fast running racecar had suddenly drove into a slow lane. I reflected on my view of life, which was formed over many years of molding, and suddenly realized that I was not a good person. What I had fought for in practical society appeared to be so dirty. I thought that perhaps I wasn't qualified to become a cultivator yet, but I must try to be one by starting to be a good person.
My husband was the first to discover the changes in me. He noticed that my temper was better than before. However, when he learned that I had changed because I had read Zhuan Falun, he was alarmed and frightened. He asked me to delete that file from my computer, but I refused. Every time I took my sister's phone call, he always sat facing me with anger. We had always loved each other, but for the first time, he angrily said that he would divorce me. He had never hit me before, but now he slapped me several times over a trivial matter. I felt very wronged in my heart and told this to my sister. She immediately sent me many articles of Teacher's lectures and pointed out that this was a test I must pass and that Teacher had already taken care of me! I doubted it since I had not done anything for Dafa. Did Teacher start to take care of me just because I had read the book and changed my view of the Fa? Under the encouragement of my sister, I soon finished my second reading of the book and started to gradually understand the principles that Teacher talked about. If what was said by Jiang Zemin's government were true; that is, reading the book would lead to homicide or suicide, why are there no similar reports in foreign countries? I suddenly understood a lot of things that I could not understand before. I became very excited and began to realize what kind of treasure I had obtained.
As my changes became greater, my husband started to support me in reading the book. To make it more convenient for me to read [Dafa], he updated some parts on my computer. He helped download Teacher's audio lectures and also helped me find the related software to play the audio lectures. When I was lazy, he even reminded me to be diligent. After his busy work, he even read a section of Zhuan Falun together with me. I find that I have started a life with a lot of appreciation in my heart. I have gained so much. Teacher's benevolence has changed me a lot. My sister calls me almost every day, so my questions can always be promptly answered. I believe that all the help is from Teacher's arrangement. I feel grateful to my sister and my husband, and even more to Teacher's benevolence.
Things associated with Dafa constantly take place in my life. Several colleagues of mine went to Dalian City on a business trip. When they went through the ticket-checking counter of the Dalian City train station, several policemen stood by the ticket examiner and one of the policemen held a sign that had "Falun Gong is a XX[slanderous words omitted]" printed on it. Everyone must read out these words before he or she can pass the ticket-checking counter. One of my colleagues is a young man of strong character. Although he was not a practitioner, he hates this Cultural Revolution type of thing. He refused to read the words and said, "I think you are too vicious." As a result, several policemen jumped over and sent him into the police station in the train station. Others who went with him hurriedly helped him make an explanation, but the police still tried to force him to write down those words and also a "repentance statement" before he could get on the train. The incident did not end until a CCTV reporter that one of my colleagues knew came to intervene.
Thereafter, I frequently heard news about Jiang's regime's persecution of Falun Gong. To be acknowledged by their superiors, a police station must arrest enough practitioners to meet the quota. If the quota is not met, the police arrest some people who do not practice Falun Gong to make up the number. Peasant workers in the city, who are not local residents, become the primary targets. They have poor education and are often chased around by the police because they do not have the so-called legal identification for living in the city. They are not backed up by any political power and have no place to go to ask for help even if they are wronged. Those peasant workers, who do not know about Dafa at all, would of course write the so-called repentance statement of not practicing Falun Gong in exchange for their freedom. The news media loses no opportunity to use these statements to declare how many more people have been educated and "reformed" [i.e., give up Falun Gong practice].
People who appeal out of dissatisfaction with Jiang's regime and people who are angry with the corrupt government officials also became targets to fill up the quota. A woman who sold vegetables told me that a person in her village, who could not endure the bullying by the head of the local county subdivision went to appeal to the higher officials and was immediately arrested as a Falun Gong "element."
Many genuine practitioners often take risks to go post Fa rectification flyers in the middle of the night. It is frequently heard that some practitioners have been arrested. One of my schoolmates from college told me that her neighbor, an over-50-year old lady, is a practitioner and was jailed for distributing Dafa flyers. As a result, her son could not get married, since his girlfriend, fearing the implications, broke up with him. No girl has dared to be his girlfriend ever since. You can imagine how many cases of this kind have occurred in China!
Why do I know so many things all of a sudden? Why has no one told me about these things before? I think that this must be an arrangement. Only when I know more about the truth can I more clearly understand the reality and validate my cultivation. I hope that more people can learn the truth. However, there are so many difficulties [in letting people know the truth] in China. Some plainclothes police often pretend to be practitioners in order to obtain information and arrest more practitioners. It is very hard to tell the fake from the genuine, so I am writing these things down and sending it to Clearwisdom.net through my sister in order to let more people know about the situation in China.
The path of cultivation is not smooth, and my will is often challenged. Yet, in the face of the truth and the reality, only persistent, solid, and genuine cultivation can make me walk out of the adversity. A lot of people are still being fooled. What awaits them?
I feel tremendously lucky that the Buddha's light, which I have sought for so many lifetimes, is already shining upon me. I will cultivate determinedly and contribute what little I can to promote Dafa when the appropriate time comes.