Everything in My Life is to Obtain Dafa
(Shared at 2001 Russia Conference)
I have practiced Dafa for one and a half years. Since childhood, I have been interested in all types of supernormal phenomena. Later, a clear concept formed in my mind; that is, cultivation. Since then, I started to do some things in accordance with this idea. I thought there must exist some cultivation systems, and by collecting such information bit by bit, I thought I could find one in the future. I never thought I could be so lucky as to obtain such a complete cultivation system--Dafa.
After I finished reading Zhuan Falun, I understood immediately how great and profound it was. From then on, I considered myself to be a Falun Dafa disciple and started to cultivate diligently. I had a feeling that I have obtained something priceless, something that I had been looking for all my life. I also realized that everything that had happened to me is related to this. My understanding of the world and things around me started to change. Things I used to consider as very important turned meaningless, even becoming unnoticeable; instead, the majority of my life went into cultivation. I used to feel that my whole life was composed of many, yet unrelated time fragments. I then realized that everything since my childhood, although seemingly scattered and accidental, were actually joining together, and the goal was to obtain Dafa and lead to my cultivation. I realized that everything in this world was all arranged and nothing was accidental. I used to change the world around me according to my opinions; now I just let things go naturally. For things specifically happening to me, I knew they were just the manifestation of sentiment, false opinions, and other related thoughts. They are exactly things needing to be gotten rid of during cultivation. As I went further in studying the Fa, my understandings broadened, and I realized things are going on right now that are so important for this human society and the universe.
The first test during my cultivation of Dafa was about my personal life. Before starting cultivation, my family had broken up for 4 years. Although my wife and I did not divorce, she and our daughter separated from me. I used to think that married life is not determined by the approval seal on our passports, but by the relationship of our souls. If basic mutual respect does not exist between husband and wife, it will be immoral to live together, and not worth it to hurt the other's life. Before I obtained the Fa, I used to live with another woman, which I considered as my home. I even prepared to get married with her soon after getting divorced with my wife. In March 2000, this woman gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun, and I thus began to practice. Everything seemed to be going well until one day in May when she suddenly did not allow to me enter that house. She did not even explain anything to me. I tried to behave like a Dafa practitioner--with no hatred or revenge on my mind. Still, I felt very bad, as if I had done something wrong. I also regretted the happy life that otherwise could have continued, ending like this. If I were not a Dafa practitioner, my reaction would have been different. I became single.
In July, I started my vacation as usual, and decided to finish one of my previous plans; that is, getting divorced. However, all sorts of complicated issues suddenly came up, which made me understand that, instead of looking for a comfortable corner of life, I should resume my marriage relationship that still appeared to exist. I do not want to mention the details. One year has passed; both my wife and daughter are Falun Gong practitioners now. After separating for 5 years, we began to live together again.
The next test for me was to eliminate karma, - a toothache. For several days, my toothache only became more aggravated. I used to be afraid of toothaches, and this time, not only the pain, but also the fear of the pain was combining to torture me. One morning before going to work, I suddenly felt an acute pain when I was doing the exercises. At that time, I was holding the law wheel above my head. This pain made both my legs weak and I almost fainted. Then I thought, "Well, I need a beak," and I sat down on the floor. Although I did not faint, it did not improve, either. I moved to the couch little by little. Not only the toothache but all my head was also painful. After a while, I managed to get to work and asked for sick leave. The pain became lighter, but my lower jaw, tongue, and throat were all swollen. And I was unable to eat and it was difficult to speak. However, after three days everything was okay.
Later, I had toothaches a few times, but it became weaker and weaker. During the most painful times, I once had some doubts: am I really a Dafa practitioner? Am I eligible to be a Dafa practitioner? I even thought my sickness still existed and I still had toothaches just like an ordinary person, etc. If I healed my sickness as I used to do, the pain might have gone sooner, but I could lose an opportunity to practice Falun Dafa because of this. Although having doubts, I finally made it. Later when I read that, "...In cultivation of the Buddha Fa, you should strive forward vigorously" ("People with Great Inborn Quality," Zhuan Falun) and thinking about Teacher's words, I understood that feeling the pain was to pay for the debts, and all the tribulations arranged for me were within my capacity to endure. As long as I considered myself as a cultivator and acted according to a cultivator's standard, Teacher would look after me.
Many things happened during my cultivation. After some time has passed, tribulations are not so difficult to go through now. Every tribulation helps us upgrade our level, as well as increase our enlightenment quality and ability to endure.
Thank you very much.