(Minghui.org) I was imprisoned for several years for practicing Falun Dafa. After being released, I took two months to focus on studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, and looking inward. I then started to make truth clarification materials at home, and distributed them in nearby areas. Things went smoothly for about a year.

Beginning last November, the local Chinese Communist Party (CCP) officials have said that I’ve been seen on surveillance cameras, and they had enough evidence to arrest me for distributing materials. Meanwhile, my son was also giving me a hard time.

Nonetheless I remained unmoved, and looked inward. I found that when I was urging my grandson to study the Fa, I was being forceful, impatient, and even lost my temper. I thought, “This must be a loophole for the evil to take advantage of me.” So I tried to correct myself. Meanwhile, I asked family members, who were also practitioners, to send righteous thoughts for me. It’s clear to me that, as a Dafa practitioner, my mission is to help Master save more people. I will not allow the old forces to persecute me and ruin the opportunity for more sentient beings to attain salvation.

Master gave me a hint, to remove the license plate from my electric bicycle. I did so, then continued to distribute materials. It went well for another three months, but after the New Year and before the CCP’s “Two Plenary Sessions” held in the spring, Domestic Security Division agents made two visits to my home and called my husband multiple times.

They claimed I had been under surveillance for a long time, and they knew I was distributing materials. They told my husband to restrict my movements. This brought huge pressure to my family, because they were afraid I might be arrested again.

The persecution really hurt my family and relatives. More importantly, it influenced them to harbor negative views about Dafa. Before I was imprisoned, they supported my practice and sometimes even helped me clarify the truth. I did not want these precious lives to bear more consequences of the persecution.

For over a year, I worked hard in all aspects, subtly influencing them with my upright behavior as a Dafa disciple, and they were beginning to show certain positive changes in their attitudes toward me. But when faced with this sudden, terrifying pressure, the family atmosphere became tense and stifling.

My husband and son wore sullen expressions all day long. And I, too, felt an immense pressure bearing down on me. My family discussed waiting until after the “Two Sessions,” to then take a certain official from the Domestic Security Division out for a meal to “smooth the matter over.”

I studied the Fa during the following two weeks, sent righteous thoughts, and looked inward. But I did not attempt to stop my husband and son from engaging in the practice of leveraging their personal connections to ease the matter. In fact, I even tacitly condoned it, without even realizing I was doing so.

When my husband returned after inviting an official, his expression was even gloomier than before. Someone from Domestic Security said they had already forwarded my case to their superior, so the matter was out of their hands. He suggested that our family try to find some connections higher up. Consequently, my husband and son decided they would find a way to settle the matter with money.

I continued looking inward and sending righteous thoughts. I knew I should not acknowledge the old forces persecution. I knew that as a Dafa practitioner, my mission was to save people. Distributing truth-clarification materials is a Dafa practitioner’s responsibility, and it should not be an excuse for the evil to persecute me.

I asked the practitioners from my family and the Fa-study group to send righteous thoughts for me. My mother, also a practitioner, suggested I leave home for a few days, but I decided not to. I could let go of a lot of things in this world, but my family is an environment for me to cultivate and validate the Fa. I should not lose this environment and should not let our family routine be disrupted.

I thought, “I have a great family, and I have already let go of my attachment to seeking a comfortable life. But I will not allow the evil to ruin my family. I needed to show them the beauty of Dafa. My two grandsons are here for Dafa, and they have already read Zhuan Falun three times. They are young Dafa practitioners, and I need to remain here to help them. Those officers from Domestic Security are also lives waiting to be saved. I will not allow the evil to persecute a Dafa practitioner and destroy more lives!”

My youngest sister, also a practitioner, entered a phase of gradual enlightenment a while ago. She said that I had a lot of attachments hindering my cultivation. If I let go of those and generated great, benevolent compassion for those officers, it would turn danger into a good thing.

Although I harbored no hatred or resentment for those officers, I can not say I acted entirely out of compassion either. I asked Master for a hint, “What did I do wrong? What attachments were holding me back? Why can’t I open up my heart? Why have I always been just a little bit short in my cultivation? Master, I must cultivate myself well. I’m here to save people, not block them from being saved!”

That evening, a practitioner I called “Big Sister,” with whom I worked on a project together, came to see me. She kindly pointed out my attachment, “It’s not only a problem of relying on everyday people,” she explained. “You did not truly understand the Fa principles regarding this issue.”

I understood right away that Master sent her to point out my loophole. I had been striving to identify shortcomings within myself after being released from prison. I found many attachments, such as lust, laziness, arrogance, as well as not always understanding the deeper meanings of the Fa. Yet I had never paid attention to the issue of relying on everyday people. Bribery is a corrupt practice in today’s degenerate society. A Dafa practitioner was here to validate the Fa. How could I condone this corrupt practice?

If I passed through these tribulations through bribery, was I on the right path? Would the old forces cause more trouble for me as a result? Was this the mark I wanted to leave for the future? When tribulations come, if I handle them with ordinary means, wouldn’t it be the same as getting injections and taking medicine when experiencing sickness karma?

Since I kept failing these tests in the past, they eventually accumulated into a big obstacle that I could not overcome. This must be one of the main reasons I ended up imprisoned for several years. It was only after this that I truly came to understand the situation clearly.

“Big Sister” had also experienced persecution multiple times. But each time, she got through it with righteous thoughts and Master’s protection. Only in this way can divine beings help out. Even my husband, who was not a practitioner, questioned me several times, “Why hasn’t anything happened to Big Sister all these years? Why have you always been the only one to get in trouble?”

I understood that Master was using my husband’s mouth to give me a hint, but I didn’t get it at the time. It was the biggest loophole I had developed in over 20 years of persecution. So I said to Master, “Master, from now on, I must, in a thorough and upright manner, meet the Fa’s standard and purge these corrupt, distorted notions!” Once I let go of these corrupt, distorted notions, I would be aligned with the Fa. How could everyday people persecute a righteous Dafa practitioner?

My heart opened up, and I felt that my compassion had surfaced. Those Domestic Security officers were manipulated by the evil. They wanted to persecute me because of my loophole. If I didn’t cultivate myself well, they would commit crimes and be destroyed.

I shared my thoughts with my husband and asked him to help me out by not using ordinary ways. He agreed. My husband is truly an extraordinary being. It was only because of certain attachments of my own, which I failed to realize earlier, that these sentient beings were being persecuted.

I had a dream two days later. Big Sister and I entered a room with water gushing from a leak in the pipes. I asked her if there was a valve to shut it off. After she gave one of the pipes a few twists, the flow slowed to a trickle. I heard myself saying to her, “Don’t tighten it completely, please leave it running just a little so I can take a shower.”

After waking up, I thought, “Master was telling me the major leak had been plugged, but why was I leaving a little bit behind?” I went to read “Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” in Essentials for Further Advancement. I came to understand that Master was guiding me to walk on the right path.

A couple of days ago, I read a Minghui article talking about eliminating the heart of seeking to accumulate merit and virtue. I realized I had such a heart while clarifying the truth and distributing materials. I was often counting how many people I had talked to and how many copies of materials I gave out. If it was too little, I felt disappointed. If it was a lot, I developed the attachment to zealotry and showing off.

My heart still contained selfishness and was not purely considering others. I thought, “I must save people,” “I must complete my mission.” On a certain level, these thoughts were a driving force behind my diligent efforts. But after ascending to a higher level, they were selfish.

I asked Master, “Master, what state of mind should I achieve?” During Fa study, an answer flashed out. Everything is for saving sentient beings!

I understood. We should let go of “self” completely, as everything we do is for saving sentient beings!

Thank you, merciful Master, for your protection and hints! Thank you, fellow practitioners, for your sincere help!