(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1995, and I’m now 80 years old. After I memorized Zhuan Falun and read Master Li’s recent teachings I discovered many attachments that I hadn’t noticed before. Now when conflicts arise I look inward and reflect on myself rather than focusing on others’ shortcomings.
I lived alone, but due to special circumstances my older brother moved in with me a few years ago. When he first moved in he yelled at me almost every day, and sometimes used very harsh language to hurt me. However, I followed the standard of a cultivator: “… you did not strike back when hit or talk back when cursed at.” (“Lecture Given at the Conference in Sydney”), and endured. It worked to a certain degree, but I didn’t look inward to see why I was in such a prolonged tribulation. He even accused me when something went missing, insisting that I threw it away. He was very angry.
One time he shouted at me for half an hour over an electronics manual. I was sending righteous thoughts at the time and ignored him. When I found the manual I said, “It’s right here! What were you yelling for?” I wanted to shut him up and embarrass him. But then I thought, isn’t that unkind? I usually helped him look for things, but I did it because I didn’t want to be blamed. I was trying to prove that I wasn’t at fault. When it happened again, I calmly reassured him, saying, “It’s not lost. We’ll find it. Don’t be upset.” Even after I knew he’d found the item, I didn’t ask him about it, so he wouldn’t feel embarrassed. I considered his feelings.
My brother also constantly nagged me and repeatedly complained about everything. It irritated and upset me. This troubled me for years. I later understood that this was actually helping me to let go of my attachment to feeling annoyed and upset. I finally got over this test.
Through Fa study, I realized I had attachments of liking to hear pleasing words, and only wanted to change others, not myself. After I changed my behavior, my brother also changed. He even began greeting the practitioners who visited me. I came to understand the Fa principle: “Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal” (Essentials for Further Advancement). Looking inward is truly a cultivator’s treasure. Thank you, Master for giving me this opportunity to improve my xinxing.After studying Master’s new teaching, “A Wake-Up Call”, I understood it at my current level as Master sees the shortcomings of practitioners as a whole, and compassionately and urgently hopes we can all improve quickly as one body. So he is solemnly using a heavy hammer to wake us up, to help us meet the requirements of the final stage of Fa-rectification. He is sad over those practitioners who are not diligent. Of course, Master’s Fa has deeper connotations that I haven’t yet comprehended, but every time I read it, I can’t stop crying.
By memorizing the Fa I realized I was lazy, dependent, and wanted to be comfortable. I was afraid of trouble, and selfish. I always wanted things to be easier for me.
In 2019, a practitioner came to help me make truth-clarification materials. She was diligent, quick and not afraid of hardship. I did the printing, while she did the binding and packaging. We cooperated very well. If the printer had issues or needed reprints, she handled it proactively. This was much easier than doing it alone. But over time, I developed a dependency and fear of trouble without even realizing it.
Before, I used to submit the name lists of those who wanted to quit the CCP by myself. When this practitioner came to help, I stopped doing it. I thought she could type faster, as my typing was slow and it took away my time for Fa study. Since she offered, I handed her the lists, thinking nothing of it. But this was my selfishness at work. In reality, she had more household responsibilities than I did.
I’m now working hard to eliminate these attachments. No matter how many names are on the list, I submit them myself. Previously, if there was a difficult task, like fixing typos or doing a time-consuming job, I’d leave it to her. I’m now cultivating to eliminate that mindset too.
Recently, a practitioner asked for more booklets and requested that they be made available earlier. I didn’t have enough ready so I quickly printed several dozen more, but I needed more time to bind them. So now it came to the issue of “time”. There were less than three hours before pickup, and I hadn’t studied the Fa well that morning. I had to choose between studying the Fa and binding the materials. I hesitated, but then thought: “I should put others first. Saving people comes first. If I insist on studying the Fa just for the sake of it, isn’t that being selfish? I must remove this attachment.” So I began binding and trimming, ensuring the practitioner could pick them up on time. In the past, I might have said, “Just take however many are ready.” This time, I eliminated my laziness.
Our production material site supplies not only local practitioners but also those in a nearby county. We need to produce more than 400 booklets every week. It’s a bit too much for just the two of us, so we asked another practitioner couple to help.
One time, two days before the scheduled pickup, both of the printers broke down. I was a little anxious, but I’ve witnessed many miracles before, as Master always helps us. Every time trouble arises I know it’s interference. I thought, “Saving people is urgent. Master will surely help.”
The practitioner couple came to my home, and the four of us worked together with three printers. By the second afternoon, we had completed the task and even printed dozens extra.