(Minghui.org) I used to be stubborn, and once I set my mind on something, I insisted on it. If things didn’t go my way, I lost my temper. I later opened a shop, and became obsessed with money and learned to lie.

After I started practicing Falun Dafa, I saw how selfish I was. I strove to improve my character by following Master’s teachings. In my business, I followed what Master said: “...trade fairly and maintain a righteous mind.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun) I stopped caring so much about money, I stopped lying, and I avoided saying things that didn’t meet the standard of a cultivator.

I became calm and peaceful, but I still struggled to let go of my stubborn temper. I studied the Fa diligently and used the principles to find what was behind my temper: a competitive mentality, resentment, attachment to saving face, lack of kindness and tolerance, selfishness, strong ego, and deeply ingrained Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture. I was determined to eliminate this temperament, but I kept repeating my old mistakes, and I felt guilty about it.

I got married. My wife is quick-tempered, while I am more slow-paced. If she didn’t like the way I did something, she lost her temper. Her voice was louder than mine. Sometimes her stubbornness even exceeded mine. I knew that nothing happens by chance, and this must be happening to help me eliminate my stubbornness. Her behavior was mirroring mine! I needed to eliminate these attachments. It wasn’t easy, and I repeatedly failed.

I was in charge of running our store. I bought, sold, and delivered goods, while my wife took care of the housework and looked after our child. She also helped in the store when it got busy. I squeezed in time every day to do the three things that Dafa practitioners should do.

One day, my wife suddenly lashed out at me over a minor issue and shouted, “Today you must choose. Do you want Dafa, or this family?”

I thought, “You’re making a huge fuss over such a small thing. If this had happened before I began practicing, I would have argued back. But I practice Dafa now. I won’t stoop to your level.” I calmly told her, “I want both. I will balance the two.”

She became more furious. She seemed to lose her mind and began throwing Dafa books and truth-clarification materials everywhere, repeatedly shouting, “I’ll see how you can have both!”

Anger and resentment surged in me, and I was about to explode. But in that moment, I reminded myself that I’m a cultivator—I had to endure! I began silently reciting the Fa:

“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?” in Essentials for Further Advancement)

Seeing that I didn’t fight back, she didn’t stop. She grabbed some Dafa books and stormed out, throwing them into the street. I rushed over, grabbed both of her arms and tried to push her back inside. I pushed too hard and she fell down. I immediately realized that I failed to have tolerance and to act with kindness as a cultivator should. I rushed to help her up and said, “I’m sorry, I lost control.” She hit me and cursed me.

Looking at the Dafa books scattered everywhere, I broke down in tears. I felt that I had failed to cultivate well and hadn’t protected them. I wept as I picked them up and told my wife, “Is it wrong that I want to be a good person by practicing Falun Dafa? It’s just that I haven’t cultivated well yet. You can point out my faults directly, you can get angry at me, but you must not damage the Dafa books. Never do this again. Only those who treat Dafa well will be blessed.”

After things calmed down, I meditated that night and looked inward. I realized I was very selfish. I only cared about making sure I studied the Fa and did the exercises. I ignored my wife’s hardships. I was not compassionate. I got angry during conflicts and had no forbearance. I didn’t argue when my wife scolded me, but I had resentment inside. I wasn’t truthful. I resolved to follow Master’s teachings and truly act like a cultivator from then on.

I started practicing what I said. I helped with the housework and took our child to school whenever I could. When I did the exercises in the morning, I made porridge and boiled water so she could sleep longer. After lunch every day, she liked to take a nap, so I encouraged her to rest while I watched the store and studied the Fa.

When she got angry, I remained silent. She later asked, “I scolded you so hard just now. How come you’re like a wooden block?”

“I didn’t hear a word of what you said,” I replied. “I was silently reciting Master’s Fa: ‘A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.’” (“Realms” in Essentials for Further Advancement) She laughed when she heard that.

I silently recited Master’s Fa and held myself to the standard: “From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” in Essentials for Further Advancement)

When I began treating my wife with true compassion, she also changed. She didn’t want me to go out and distribute the truth-clarifying materials at night. She used to refuse to open the door when I returned home late. Now, when I go out, she reminds me, “If you can’t finish tonight, go again tomorrow. Come back early.” She immediately opens the door when I return home.

When I clarify the truth and encourage people to quit the CCP at the store, she supports me by chiming in—something she strongly objected to in the past.

Cultivation is truly wonderful! In the past, when I struggled with family tribulations, I saw my wife as an obstacle on my cultivation path. Now, my mindset has changed, I see her as a helper on my cultivation journey. Her arguing with me helped improve my xinxing. I truly want to thank my wife and thank Master for his painstaking arrangement.

This is a bit of my personal cultivation experience. If anything I’ve said is not aligned with the Fa, please kindly point it out.