How My Understanding of Cultivation has Changed Over the Years

(Minghui.org) It has been exactly ten years since I joined a media company in 2015. As the saying goes, “Ten years to sharpen a sword,” I have been working in the same position for the past decade. Facing various situations that have arisen over the years, and my cultivation challenges, I have stumbled along the way. Still, fortunately with the guidance and protection of Master Li Hongzhi, I have made it to where I am today.

How I Joined the Media Company

When I first came to the United States, I didn’t have a stable job. One day, I wanted to learn more about the nearby Falun Dafa exercise sites, so I searched online and found that the website that provided information was very rudimentary. Was it a lack of talent? Not entirely. To the best of my knowledge, several local practitioners worked in some of the world’s top-notch high-tech companies. Perhaps they were busy with their jobs and didn’t notice the state of the website.

An idea arose from the depths of my heart... Since others are so busy, I could take on this responsibility. This thought repeated itself twice in my mind. If given the opportunity, I could help improve the local website that provided information about Falun Dafa exercise sites. I suddenly felt a profound sense of emotion within myself. I had experience in software development, but I was relatively unfamiliar with website development, and hadn’t yet considered how to proceed.

However, shortly thereafter I was unexpectedly hired by a small company to rebuild its e-commerce website. The scripting language used by this company had never been popular, and there were few skilled professionals in the field. I had to learn as I went along.

I recall when I first joined the company, my boss expressed his concern and said he wasn’t sure whether it was the right decision to hire me to build the website. If the business remained the same after a year, he didn’t know whether I could keep my job. I immediately replied to him, “Oh, don’t worry, I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, and I won’t make it difficult for you. If the new website business doesn’t grow much or grows little next year, I can just resign.”

As a result, after the website was restructured and launched, the company continued with its original promotional strategy, yet the number of orders surged dramatically. In the year since I had joined the company, the annual orders had increased from just over 5,000 to over 20,000.

The boss was delighted, stating that his company had taken ten years to increase orders by just 1,000, but now they had grown several times over in a single year. He promised to keep me on as long as the company remained in operation. However, I knew I wasn’t to be his permanent employee—I had my mission to fulfill.

After gaining experience on e-commerce websites, I joined a media company by chance. Looking back on this experience, I’m unsure whether it was my desire to build a website at the time that led me down this path, or if that situation was predestined. However, one thing is certain... When cultivating oneself and navigating the mundane world, pure thought is especially crucial for walking well the path of Dafa cultivation practice.

Cultivating in a Work Environment

After arriving in New York, I immediately immersed myself in my new work project. When I first started working, my supervisor told me that the project was understaffed and everyone was very busy. He said that I should try to complete the work assigned to me independently, and not expect others to tell me how to solve problems.

I agreed with this concept, and have indeed applied it in my subsequent work. In the process, I have come to understand that working independently means not only completing tasks without relying on others, but also taking responsibility for every step of the task and its potential impact.

I went to work every day with a sense of anticipation, feeling like I was advancing through a series of challenges. I got up at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning, practiced the exercises, studied the Fa, work, and then worked overtime, returning to my residence around midnight.

Project tasks were progressing quickly. Sometimes, I even dreamed about programming. At that time, the company didn’t provide breakfast, and my income was limited, so I came up with a solution: I bought a can of instant oatmeal and made a bowl with hot water every morning, sometimes adding a few crackers. The oatmeal cost just a few dollars and could last one or two months, which was both convenient and cost-effective. Fortunately, I never grew tired of this breakfast. Looking back now, that period remains one of the best project experiences of my life.

Gradually, as I took on more tasks and completed them successfully, I began to feel a sense of joy and satisfaction. I even started hoping that others would work as hard as I did, coming in early and staying late. When I saw others going through the motions without much enthusiasm, I felt dissatisfied, even superior, as if they were not as capable as I was.

After a long while, I would sometimes complain that I was as mechanical and numb as a clock. Even more concerning was that I realized that the true self, and the human heart hidden beneath the façade of hard work, takes a long time to be recognized.

From the perspective of cultivation, although I worked diligently, studied the Fa, and exercised every day, the biggest problem was that I did not study the Fa with attentiveness. At that point, I knew I needed to improve my cultivation state. When faced with work, I often got caught up in doing things, and made completing tasks my main goal for the day, rather than cultivating myself and eliminating human attachments in the process.

Master told us:

“What you are working on is not cultivation in and of itself. Be it the businesses you own, your Dafa projects, or whatever it is you do—they are not cultivation in their own right. What makes something cultivation is the attitude that you bring to it and the way that you deal with and resolve any issues, namely, by applying the standards for a practicing Dafa disciple!” (Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XV)

Looking back over this period, I realized that the main factor in cultivation was not the external environment but one’s own understanding of cultivation. If I could turn back time and start over again, things might still be the same, but my mindset toward cultivation would be different. Years later, when fellow practitioners exhibit similar attitudes and behaviors, and when faced with questions from senior managers, I smile kindly and say, “I understand. It takes courage, but things will improve gradually.”

The Fa Connotation of “Responsibility”

One day, my supervisor and another colleague suddenly left the project for unknown reasons, and some tasks on the project fell to me because no one else was handling them. I became uncomfortable with this because I felt that my workload was already exceeding my expectations. But that was not all. Senior supervisors would sometimes suddenly ask me about the implementation of specific tasks.

At first, I thought that a misunderstanding or a mistake had occurred. I told the supervisors that I wasn’t involved in those tasks and that they weren’t within my scope of responsibility, so I couldn’t guarantee anything. But if necessary, I would take responsibility for following up on them.

However, my senior manager didn’t say anything, paused for a moment, and then left. This happened more than once, which made me feel discouraged and frustrated. After experiencing these emotions several times, I decided to calm down and study the Fa to see why this was happening.

Through studying the Fa, I realized that I had been trying to stay in the same state as before my supervisor left the project. He handled all the management and coordination tasks, so I needed to only focus on the tasks assigned to me. This gave me a sense of accomplishment, and I didn’t have to worry about anything else. In other words, my mindset at the time was suited to that project environment.

However, after the supervisor left, the project environment changed, but my mindset remained stuck in the past. At that time, the project required me to change my perspective and take on more responsibilities, but the human side of me wanted to back out. Thinking about it, I truly feel ashamed.

During Fa study, as I realized that my notion was wrong. Master also enlightened me to a deeper understanding of the principle of “responsibility.” Throughout my cultivation, I have always had a question. How to elevate my understanding from perception to rationality? Although I have read Master’s answers to related questions, I was still unclear about how to apply this in my cultivation.

For example, Master said:

“...there was a huge difference when the tribulations had just started. Some were shocked. Some were contemplating, “What kind of person is Li Hongzhi?” Some were thinking, “Is this Fa righteous?” A comprehensive test has targeted all human attachments.” (Fa Teaching Given at the Western U.S. Fa Conference, Guiding the Voyage)

This was all clear to me, but when I asked “why” from an Eastern perspective, it was hard to answer the question confidently. In other words, my understanding of “Dafa is good” was only my perceptual understanding.

Master said:

“Throughout the entire course of my lectures on the Fa and cultivation, I have been responsible to society and students. The results we have received have been good, and their impact upon the entire society has also been quite good.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

When I think about the few decades of my life, all the people I have ever met, including my parents, siblings, relatives, and close friends, no one except Master has ever said that they were responsible for my life. Moreover, in all the history I have studied, both ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, and in all the books I have read, I have never found anyone who has claimed responsibility for the life of another person.

Looking even deeper into the cosmos, we cannot fathom the countless cycles of cosmic civilizations and life that have come and gone, nor can we comprehend the myriad events of right and wrong, true and false, and the vast realms involved. Except for Master, no other being—not even the highest beings in the cosmos—can truly take responsibility for another being.

Especially in the final stages, the old forces merely use lives for their arrangements. Once they have served their purpose, no life can be held “accountable” for their future or destiny because everything in the universe will eventually come to an end through the cycles of formation, stasis, degeneration, and destruction.

In other words, before Dafa was disseminated, there had never been such an unprecedented opportunity to receive Master’s “responsibility to society and to his students.” Therefore, in this cultivation practice, having Master’s “responsibility to society and to his students” is truly precious and sacred!

A master who can “be responsible to society and to his students” is unmatched by any other being in the universe. A master who can truly be responsible for everything in the universe is the most righteous and greatest Master, isn’t he? Isn’t that the most righteous and greatest Fa?

These words, which I have read countless times and seem so ordinary, actually have such profound meaning. Once you understand the principles, it becomes easier to overcome any hurdle.

Karma Elimination and Righteous Thoughts

During the ten-year project, I experienced numerous trials of eliminating sickness karma, including two severe ones during the COVID-19 pandemic, and I overcame them all with righteous thoughts under Master’s protection. In June 2024, I was in the state of eliminating sickness karma again. During this period, toothaches continued to recur.

After exercising every day, I would temporarily feel better, but the symptoms would return and even worsen, making it difficult to eat or drink. The toothache caused headaches, and my eyes felt like they were being stabbed. As a result, I kept my eyes closed as much as possible on my way to work. Sometimes, when I accidentally touched my head, I felt pain even on the skin, and thoughts of death occasionally surfaced. I realized that this was the old forces trying to take advantage of the situation. Therefore, every time such a thought arose, I sincerely asked, “Please, Master, take charge for me.”

Master’s new article “A Wake-Up Call” was published on June 6th. As a veteran practitioner, regardless of my past actions, I must now adhere to the requirements and strive to improve.

I wanted to take leave for several days during the karma elimination. On the one hand, there were too few people working on the project. If I took leave, the task progress would be delayed; on the other hand, I reminded myself that it was through pain and suffering that I could determine if I had the mentality to save people. So, I insisted on coming to work. Although my working state during this karma elimination was not as efficient as usual, it was a matter of persistent suffering. Moreover, reading Master’s new scripture in the midst of suffering was a truly different experience.

The next morning, I suddenly felt the urge to read “A Wake-Up Call” before starting work. When I read, “Every individual is someone whom the divine wants to save from this world.” “and everyone came to this earth to learn about Dafa and gain deliverance,” a thought suddenly arose in me... Those who were controlled to create tribulations were actually also people waiting to be saved, and their original intention in coming to this world was also to be saved.

I might have severely harmed the life that caused my toothache in past lifetimes. It was now being used by the old forces to challenge me. But they were all originally here to be saved. Wasn’t it a pity that things turned out this way?

When I got home in the evening, I reread the article. It said, “Many people have been lax in their spiritual practice for quite some time,” This sentence entered my mind. I felt a little lost, as I realized that my cultivation over the years still had many problems and needed to be taken seriously and broken through. The incorrect state of my body and toothache were warning signs. So, what should be the state of a Dafa disciple?

As I began my meditation the next morning, a sentence from the second lecture of Zhuan Falun came to mind: “Let me give you an example. In Buddhism, it is said that every phenomenon in human society is illusory and unreal.” I began to treat all my past experiences, current problems, concerns, pain, sorrow, and even the various manifestations of the end of human society as illusions. I no longer thought about them, and in my mind, I only saw myself as a disciple of Dafa, together with Master.

After the sitting meditation, I didn’t feel anything particularly special. Still, I was surprised that all the discomfort in my body and my toothache had disappeared, as if they had never existed. I didn’t feel any pain during lunch, and after a day of work, I still felt energetic, and not tired. I was surprised and excited.

However, the pain returned the next day. It was June 11, and it was time to leave work. I wanted to go home early, but I had a toothache and a headache, and I could hardly walk. So, I practiced the second set of exercises for an hour before going home. When I got home, I found my wife and daughter talking happily. They didn’t notice me, and I didn’t tell them how I felt. I was exhausted, so I quietly went to another room to rest.

As soon as I laid down, a thought popped into my head... Look, no one cares about you! I laughed and said to that thought, “Nothing happens by chance in this world. If others haven’t come to care about you, it’s probably because they don’t owe you anything. As a cultivator, are you still chasing after human emotions?” After a few moments of internal struggle, my mind calmed down.

After a period of calm, toothaches and headaches began to surge like waves, accompanied by negative thoughts. I couldn’t sit still or lie down, and my mind was becoming restless and anxious. During those few hours, although everything at home was normal, and nothing out of the ordinary was happening. The people around me were unaware of my state, and I felt immense pain and despair…

“Is it really that hard? Should I keep going? It hurts so much. What should I do?” I was surprised that such thoughts had occurred to me. Finally, a thought popped into my mind: Can this body endure until the end? I shed tears. How should I choose? Where should I go from here?

I asked myself, “Ordinary people experience toothaches, and so do practitioners. How can I demonstrate that I am a practitioner?” An idea instantly came to me: continue practicing. As the practice music began, I said to myself, “Perhaps I haven’t practiced long enough. I shouldn’t seek tranquility during practice, but this is perseverance amid pain, perseverance in the face of despair!” After several thirty-minute rounds of holding the wheel, the pain and despair gradually disappeared.

This extraordinary experience, especially the day when the pain completely disappeared, made me suddenly realize that the more hopeless the pain, the more one must persevere. The true righteous thoughts of a Dafa disciple transcend the old universe and are free of suffering. Moreover, Master is watching over everything.

This is my understanding at my current level; please kindly point out anything inappropriate.