(Minghui.org) I am a 62-year-old Falun Dafa practitioner from mainland China.
I was plagued by illness since childhood, and my health worsened after I got married and had children. By the age of 30, I was suffering from anemia, lumbar disc herniation, Meniere’s syndrome, baldness, depression, gastrointestinal disease, pneumonia, allergic dermatitis, and I had to avoid contact with cold water in winter or using fans in summer. I was pale, thin, and irritable, with a violent temper. I found life too painful for words.
I had a friend who was in a truck accident and suffered a fractured spine. Doctors had told her she would need to remain in bed for three years to recover, but she appeared before me one day in 1997, healthy and standing upright. I could hardly believe my eyes and asked her, “How can you be standing?” My friend told me she was cured within a month of practicing Falun Gong (also known as Falun Dafa) and she gave me a copy of the book Zhuan Falun. Her story left me amazed. Moreover, the moment I received the copy of Zhuan Falun from her, I felt an indescribable joy well up in my heart.
From that day on, after returning home from work and finishing the household chores, I would read Zhuan Falun. After just a few days of reading the book, I found myself no longer breathless while climbing stairs. All my illnesses disappeared, and I felt an unprecedented sense of happiness. In the past, I wanted to abandon my life and run away from home to live the life of a hermit in the mountains or a forest. Dafa changed my outlook on life, giving me hope and providing my restless heart with a secure home.
Falun Dafa answered all the questions in my heart. I came to understand the origin and purpose of human life, the reason for human suffering, why I share good relationships with some people while having antagonistic ones with others; why society has both poor and rich people, and people of high and low social statuses. With this knowledge, I no longer felt sorry for myself. I am really fortunate to have obtained Falun Dafa in this lifetime, a true cultivation way that can guide me back to my true home! I am grateful to Master Li for rewriting my life, giving me blessings, tempering my will, and guiding me along my cultivation path.
I used to suffer my mother-in-law’s criticism and harsh demands. Although as a practitioner, I endured it superficially and held back, I continued to feel angry and wronged in my heart. Despite my higher education, I was looked down upon by my illiterate mother-in-law. I cried each time she belittled me, and hated her for not treating me well. I even berated myself for marrying the wrong man, leading to this unjust treatment. My mother-in-law criticized me for not being humble, and it was impossible for me to win a fight against her. With a voice ten times louder than mine, any complaint from my mother-in-law against me would lead to repercussions from my husband. Because I used ordinary people’s logic to guide my thoughts and actions, I fell short of the requirements of Dafa.
As I continued to study the Fa and cultivate my mind, I came to understand that this was because I had hurt my mother-in-law in a past life. Over time, I tempered myself according to Dafa’s teachings. Some daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law can live together without conflicts. These daughters-in-law treated their mothers-in-law like their own mothers and got along well with them. Thinking of this, I felt ashamed and guilty. As a cultivator, my behavior was unacceptable and even smeared Dafa’s good name. I recalled our interactions in the past. When my mother-in-law disliked the clothes I bought for her, I would feel unhappy about her pickiness. When she complained about my family’s shortcomings, I resented her, because with her lack of worldly knowledge and skills, she had no grounds to judge. This resulted in years of accumulated anger and hatred.
After discovering my flaws, I became determined to improve and change myself. I tried to remain unmoved by my mother-in-law’s accusations and insults. When she tried to shame me for being a former labor camp prisoner, I clarified the truth about the persecution of Falun Gong to her, and explained that there was nothing wrong with being a good person according to Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I said that practicing Falun Gong should not be illegal, and I had been imprisoned because the evil Party was persecuting good people. I told her that the Tiananmen Self-Immolation Incident was staged by Jiang Zemin and his group to frame Falun Gong, and advised her not to believe the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) lies. My mother-in-law’s hardworking parents had saved enough money to purchase some land, but were later accused of being landlords by the CCP. Because of the communist regime, my mother-in-law’s father was shot to death despite committing no crime. The Communist Party persecuted generations of hardworking Chinese, attacking so-called negative elements such as landlords, wealthy peasants, counterrevolutionaries, and rightists. Today the CCP is persecuting Falun Gong practitioners, who are good people. I told my mother-in-law that the Communist Party is the real cause of social instability in China. My mother-in-law agreed with me and said she was afraid of the Communist Party’s cruelty in persecuting people.
My hatred for my mother-in-law began to abate, and I saw her in a kinder light. I started bathing her, washing her hair, and treating her well. I taught her to recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” and my mother-in-law accepted my advice and recited the phrases.
For a period of time, my mother-in-law told us she kept observing thieves trying to enter her home at night and people crawling all over the windows. After speculating that she was seeing ghosts from the netherworld, I told her, “When you see them, recite ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good’ and those evil demons will not dare come near you.” After that, my mother-in-law stopped seeing intruders at night.
As my mother-in-law got older, her memory began to fail to the point that she could not even recognize her own son. Yet she continued to recognize me without fail, calling out my name and reciting “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” on occasion. Before we mended our relationship, my mother-in-law would scold me for being lazy when she saw her son doing housework. After our relationship improved, my mother-in-law would ask my husband to help me with the housework and take care of our children. She continued to do so even after her mental condition deteriorated. When my husband gave her some cake, she would eat half and save the other half for me. My husband was so moved, he told me, “You have won over my mother!”
Despite being weak and sick all her life, my mother-in-law suffered no serious illnesses in the last five years of her life, because she often recited the phrases, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” She passed away peacefully at the age of 90, in relatively good health.
It has not been easy for me to treat my mother well. During my childhood, my mother would quarrel with the people working in our community, causing them to insult and abuse our family in retaliation. My mother continued to scold and hit me although I was nearly 50 years old. I took the initiative to return home to spend time with her, but she did not appreciate it. I did housework for her and helped her move house several times because of forced demolition. Yet after that, she became hostile and drove me away, throwing curses at me. I later realized I shared a karmic relationship with my mother and began searching inward to cultivate my thoughts and actions.
My mother visited a relative’s home with some spiritualists to do Feng Shui and exorcise spirits. I advised my mother that it was impossible to take away other people’s illnesses for nothing, and declared that I did not believe in their petty skills. Afterwards, some of the relatives experienced headaches, leg pains, and stomach pains, and blamed me for interfering. My mother asked me why my attitude toward them had been so confrontational. I had raised my voice and accused them of being crazy about money and possessing no human nature. Finally, I looked inward and discovered my bad temper, combative nature, and feelings of loathing toward my mother. After silently confessing my mistakes to Master, I promised to eliminate these thoughts. I called my mother that night and she just replied, “Everything is clarified and over. Why continue to hold onto it in your heart?” Although I had forgiven them, I still had the desire to argue over who was right and wrong. I realized I wanted to prove that I was right. Through this incident, Master exposed my attachments and helped me get rid of them.
I could not stand my mother’s extravagant spending habits, because it would impact my inheritance. My mother would say humiliating things about our ancestors, which made me angry because I feared being humiliated by her in return. I could not tolerate my mother’s dominating, self-righteous, and condescending attitude, because I too shared the same traits from being educated with the Party culture. In fact, my mother is a mirror that reflects my own attachments and shortcomings, allowing me to enlighten and improve.
My husband is a conscientious, hardworking, and skilled worker, but after work he likes to play mahjong and soccer, go fishing, and hang out with his friends. Before practicing Falun Gong, I asked him to spend more time with me, helping with the housework and caring for our children. However, he was unwilling to, and this led to unhappiness and frequent quarrels. I spoke about his bad habits everywhere I went, and people around us knew him as a gambler who cared little for his family.
After practicing Falun Dafa, I learned how to be a good person according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I tried to turn a blind eye to his shortcomings and live in harmony with my husband. Yet whenever I forgot Master’s teachings, I would end up fighting with him. Afterward, I refused to feel regret or look inward and even continued to argue and accused him of being wrong.
Master said,
“As a practitioner, the first thing you should be able to do is to not fight back when you are beaten or sworn at—you must be tolerant.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
Master teaches us to be selfless and considerate of others. Yet I failed to follow this teaching when dealing with my husband, who called me savage and unreasonable whenever we argued.
Despite our conflicts, before July 20, 1999 (when the persecution started), my husband had witnessed how Dafa had improved my body and mind, and he gave me his full support. After July 20, 1999, when I was illegally detained and sent to a labor camp by the CCP, my husband cried and deeply regretted how he had smoked, drank, played cards, and ignored me. He thought I started practicing because I was lonely, and blamed himself. Although friends and authorities advised him to divorce me, he firmly refused, despite facing contempt and discrimination from the people around him. He began taking care of our children and asked my mother-in-law for help to manage the household chores. I knew deep down that I should be grateful and treat him well, but I still found it difficult to do so.
While imprisoned in the labor camp, I declared my intention to give up practicing Dafa in a moment of weakness. When I attempted to resume practicing again after my release, my husband resolutely refused to allow me, blocking my every attempt while beating and scolding me. He threw things in anger, beat our children, and stayed out every night to gamble. Those who knew me reported that my husband was playing cards with women while flirting with them. Unable to stand it anymore, I accused him of having an affair, which made him even angrier. I also looked down on my husband for being cowardly and incompetent in the face of the police and national security agents, and for not having a sense of justice. Looking inward, I realized my negative thoughts were due to my weak righteous thoughts. I harbored fear of being persecuted by the police and national security again.
My combative nature has caused me to fail over and over again. However, I have worked to remove my combativeness, jealousy, and anger, layer by layer. In recent years, I have been able to calmly face and endure my husband’s hot temper.
Correspondingly, my husband’s temper has been doused, and he no longer interferes with my cultivation practice. During a recent encounter with the police, my husband told me, “You should video your future encounters and post them online so the public can see for themselves the unethical behavior of these police officers.”