(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2016. It was a major issue in my life because I gradually bid farewell to the concerns of ordinary people and began to cultivate my true nature of kindness.
When I was living as an ordinary person, I attached great importance to kinship and longed for familial affection, pure love, and trusting friendships. At the time, I had all the most beautiful and precious things in the world: my parents’ doting, my husband’s pampering, my children’s cuteness, and the care of my siblings and friends. Everyone thought of us as a lucky and happy family.
I thought that I could live happily like this forever. However, happiness is like a flower, beautiful but short-lived.
My father has always been hardworking and gave selflessly to everyone in the family. We were a very harmonious and happy family. Especially since I was the youngest child, my father doted on me even more. I had a deep dependence on him.
He was diagnosed with cancer in 2005, and the doctor recommended conservative treatment. After a full course of radiotherapy, the tumor was significantly reduced.
When I went to get the results of the follow-up examination, I learned that the tumor had grown again, indicating that the radiotherapy was ineffective. It was as though I was struck by lightning. Despair, fear, sadness, helplessness, and all kinds of complicated emotions overpowered me. My heart was broken. I cried silently for a long time.
I returned home after calming down. Our family agreed that our father didn’t have much time left, so we concealed this fact from him. All we wanted was for him to live the rest of his life peacefully.
We sought medical treatment from both traditional Chinese and Western doctors and used various folk remedies. We tried every possible way. However, in the end, we were unable to save my father’s life. He passed away within just a few months. I felt helpless.
The passing of my father suddenly made me think: Why does the science we admire fail to solve so many problems? Even with all the developments in medical treatment nowadays, it is still so powerless. In good times, people are proud and fearless, as if they can control everything. But what can people do at the moment when a life is suddenly taken away? It turns out that life is so fragile and insignificant; destiny is not in our own hands.
A friend named Ms. Wu has a mother who’s been practicing Falun Gong (also called Falun Dafa) for many years. She has been telling me and my husband the truth about Falun Gong and giving us truth-clarification booklets and CDs. Being brainwashed by the evil party’s propaganda, we did not say anything out of politeness, but we had prejudice and disapproval in mind. We also never bothered to listen to the CDs and missed the opportunity to enter Dafa cultivation earlier.
Ms. Wu was diagnosed with duodenal cancer and underwent bowel resection surgery. Soon afterward, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She suffered from continuous bleeding, was extremely weak and emaciated, and was not fit for surgery. In the meantime, the side effects of her chemotherapy were too severe for her to bear. She was forced to stop the treatment, and her life hung by a thread. She was sentenced to death with no hope of surviving. Once again, we lamented that life is so fragile.
I later ran into Ms. Wu on the street. She called my name and, when I looked up, I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was seriously ill a while ago, looking like a skeleton. Her skin was now delicate and rosy, with black and shiny hair. She looked energetic and radiant, healthier and more beautiful than ever.
I asked her how she recovered. She said that she recovered because of practicing Falun Gong. I sighed, “There are truly miracles in this world. It’s incredible that diseases that cannot be cured in hospitals have actually been cured when practicing Falun Gong! We witnessed the miracles of Dafa with our own eyes.”
Master Li arranged opportunities for us to obtain the Fa time and time again. I then made the most important decision in my life and firmly stepped into Dafa cultivation.
Although I knew that Dafa was good, I was still afraid of the persecution and just wanted to concentrate on studying the Fa and doing the exercises. However, my fellow practitioners repeatedly asked me to take on more responsibilities, such as downloading and printing Minghui periodicals and truth-clarification booklets, distribute greeting cards, and upload the lists of people who have renounced the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I couldn’t refuse, so I reluctantly agreed. With the push and encouragement of fellow practitioners, a small flower bloomed in my home.
In the beginning, various human thoughts came to my mind. I felt that fellow practitioners did not know my situation. I was so busy and I had so much housework. My mother did not care about me. She wouldn’t help me with cooking or housework. I felt aggrieved and resentful. The booklets I printed often had the wrong or missing pages or colors, wasting a lot of resources.
As I studied the Fa more, I began to feel a strong sense of pride for being a Dafa practitioner. I realized that I was fortunate to be able to do the work of Dafa, which was to save people. This was extremely sacred and achieved a lot of merit. I would go all out and unconditionally cooperate with fellow practitioners to clarify the truth. I have eliminated many human attachments. With a pure heart, the truth-clarification materials I printed out became more exquisite. With Master’s blessing, I was able to do the work even when the Internet blockade was most severe.
The most impressive example was when a fellow practitioner brought me a list of over 100 people who had withdrawn from the CCP and asked me to upload it. I had to upload it in four or five batches due to some name duplication. But I couldn’t get on the Internet, and the interface couldn’t be logged into. I was determined in my heart that I had to go online: This was to save people. It was the most righteous and meaningful thing. It was what Master had called for. No one can stop it!
I copied the list, clicked “Confirm” and sent forth righteous thoughts. After a while, the password popped up. I was extremely excited. I repeated this operation four or five times and uploaded the lists on time. We did this almost every day.
Some practitioners around me are particularly good at clarifying the truth. They go out to help save people almost every day, rain or shine. However, some practitioners are afraid and don’t dare to clarify the truth face to face. Some practitioners always hope that the Fa-rectification will end sooner and wonder why Master keeps extending the end time. As Falun Dafa practitioners, we should feel ashamed and embarrassed!
With Master’s blessing, I gradually broke through myself (or ego). I went out almost every day to clarify the truth. I saved people with a compassionate heart. More sentient beings understood and learned the truth. I felt the honor and extreme pleasure to see their gratitude and joy after being saved.
Of course, there are a few who don’t understand. No matter what the situation is, I try my best not to be tempted and remain friendly. After all, they are also poor lives who have been brainwashed, indoctrinated, and deceived by the evil party. We should let them feel our compassion and leave them hope for salvation.
When I interact with friends or ordinary people, I watch and hold myself to a high standard. However, all kinds of emotions come up when I’m with my mother or fellow practitioners.
My mother doesn’t like to shop for groceries, cook, or do cleaning. So I complained in my heart: “Other mothers are caring and considerate, but my mother doesn’t care about me no matter how busy or tired I am. Other people’s mothers work first and enjoy life later, but my mother treats me like a servant. Other mothers eat leftovers, but my mother has to prepare additional food for herself; other mothers cook delicious food, my mother can’t even cook porridge.”
In terms of cultivation, my mother doesn’t go out to clarify the truth; she can’t send forth righteous thoughts on time, even when I remind her. She’s also picky about food. All this disturbed me. However, I gradually realized that her behavior was aimed at my own human attachments. My relationship with my mother was arranged to expose my deeply hidden, selfish human nature, which I needed to cultivate away.
I consciously eliminated the bad substances that I was aware of. I tried to do housework willingly, ate leftovers, and stopped paying attention to my mother. I just gave her kind reminders and wasn’t moved or upset no matter what she did. I thought I had gotten rid of my attachments until I came home from clarifying the truth at noon one day. I saw my mother put her favorite dishes in her bowl and put some leftovers in mine.
I got angry, but then thought: “Why haven’t I made any progress after practicing for such a long time? An attachment to food is also something that practitioners must get rid of!” I held back my temper and didn't explode, but the look I gave my mother was cold, resentful, and vicious!
I was shocked when I realized: “I practice Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, but where is my kindness? Where is my Forbearance? After all my years of cultivation, I’m still looking at others’ shortcomings. I can use Dafa’s standards to restrain myself and be kind and tolerant when I’m dealing with other people. But when it comes to my mother, I always lose my temper over the slightest thing.”
I thought calmly and realized that since I always kept a distance from others, there were no major conflicts of interest. On the other hand, I’ve been supporting my mother for more than 20 years and facing conflicts with her day and night. I have long been resentful and dissatisfied with her. Although I consciously tried to eliminate my attachments to dislike, resentment, and self-righteousness, they would still emerge from time to time, indicating that my cultivation was still superficial.
Through studying the Fa, I finally understood what it means to truly look inward. Others’ behaviors are all directed at one’s own heart. Conflicts evolve to help us enlighten along the way. I have realized this in theory, but I sometimes still cannot do well. However, I’ll strive to consciously look inward and improve my character. This is cultivation!
I’ve had several tribulations involving sickness karma since I began my cultivation. I always denied them at the first opportunity: “You can restrain ordinary people, but I’m a Dafa practitioner. I have Master and Dafa to take care of me. I will bear the consequences of things that I should. I don’t want anything else!”
I felt a little symptomatic when the pandemic was at its worst. But I was not worried. I continued to do what I had to do, carrying out the three things as usual. I fully recovered the next day.
The most important thing is that my mentality and worldview have changed dramatically. I’ve truly experienced the tranquility that comes from letting go and looking at things lightly. Many people whom I come into contact with feel that I’m easy to be with and say that I look kind.