(Minghui.org) Greetings, great and kind Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I’ve always felt there was a purpose and meaning to my existence and life—but I was never able to believe in any philosophy or religion.
As I grew older, during my adolescence and youth, I gradually developed a sense of confusion, loss, and sorrow, and nothing brought me satisfaction or happiness. Years passed, and my life became increasingly painful and hard. A sense of emptiness gradually formed within me, and one day this feeling truly overcame me. I found myself in a philosophical deadlock and felt empty.
Nothing gave me the motivation to keep going, and I felt an immense sense of inertia and emptiness. It was a truly deep feeling, and I felt an overwhelming psychological pressure. What was it that I was missing? Where was the path?
One day, when I was at home with a friend, I became deeply upset and filled with a sense of guilt because of how unkind I had been to one of our friends who had been staying at my house for a few days. This feeling was so intense that I couldn’t stop it. I started crying uncontrollably, and I wept for a long time. My hands and feet turned pale, and my body became cold. My friend who witnessed this was confused. He tried to comfort me and stop my crying, but he couldn’t. This feeling transferred to him, and he began crying, too. We both cried for a long time, reproaching and blaming ourselves. It was a very strange experience.
While I was in this state, I began to have visions. Suddenly, a voice whispered in my ear, saying, “Purify yourself.” I felt the voice was a spiritual master’s. I felt I was sinful, so I began fasting. I felt I needed to purify my soul. I also stopped drinking alcohol, but I couldn’t quit smoking.
I started by fasting for a few hours each day, gradually increased the length of time I did not eat, and eventually I fasted for 14 to 15 hours a day. In the end, I ate only one meal a day. I became very thin and lost 20 kilograms. My friends were frightened and thought I was ill. They were worried about me. I worked during this period, and in my free time, I read articles and books about purification and spiritual concepts. I didn’t know how long I should fast or what the true purpose of fasting was. I wanted to purify myself, but I didn’t know how, and I felt I needed a real Master.
I met a young man at the recreational camp where I worked. He said he saw me practicing yoga and suggested I try a qigong practice that he did. He told me about Falun Dafa and offered to teach me the exercises. Despite his youth, he seemed very wise and had positive energy.
I had many questions, and he suggested that I read Falun Dafa’s main book, Zhuan Falun. I learned the exercises from him and I began reading the book. When I reached the section that talked about smoking, tears began to flow from my eyes, and from that night on, I stopped smoking. That was more than three years ago.
I recently began reading Essentials for Further Advancement, and I gained a new understanding of the Fa. Master taught us,
“For a long period of time the sentient beings in Dafa, especially the disciples, have had a misunderstanding of the Fa at various levels regarding xinxing improvement. Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side. Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage, leaving students in long-term tribulations. As a matter of fact, this results from an inadequate understanding of the Fa by your human side. You have humanly restrained your divine side; in other words, you have restrained the parts that have been successfully cultivated and have prevented them from doing Fa-rectification. How can the uncultivated side restrain your main thoughts or the side that has already attained the Fa? Having humanly fostered the evil demons, you allow them to capitalize on the loopholes in the Fa. When a tribulation arrives, if you, a disciple, can truly maintain an unshakable calm or be determined to meet different requirements at different levels, this should be sufficient for you to pass the test. If it continues endlessly and if there do not exist other problems in your xinxing or conduct, it must be that the evil demons are capitalizing on the weak spots caused by your lack of control. After all, a cultivator is not an ordinary human. So why doesn’t the side of you that is your original nature rectify the Fa?” (“Expounding on the Fa,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
Whenever I faced contradictions, suffering, or difficulties, I evaluated them with the notions and perceptions I acquired after birth—so I was emotional and influenced by them. I recently realized something: For more than two years I worked relentlessly, almost without a break, and I worked long hours. This left me with little time to be involved in projects to tell people about Falun Dafa, study the Fa, or do the exercises.
I realized that I shouldn’t allow these bad influences to take advantage of my insufficient understanding of the Fa and my inability to control myself, which caused my prolonged suffering. I understood that I should not accept everything as suffering and hardship, or as repaying my karma. Cultivation is a dynamic process with difficulties and hardships, but not long-term problems!
When my mindset changed and my xinxing improved, the circumstances would surely change. Of course, we should follow the path of non-intention and the natural course, and instead of changing external conditions. We should focus on changing and improving ourselves. Following these changes, after a few days, I received a job offer with weekends off and shorter working hours.
Through further study of the Fa and cultivation, as well as participating in Fa study group, exchanging experiences, and engaging in Dafa activities, I realized the value and importance of being a Falun Dafa practitioner. I now understand how crucial our responsibility of awakening sentient beings is, what Fa-rectification is, how the persecution came about, and how the evil forces interfered with the salvation of people using their well-ordered and selfish arrangements.
The Fa-rectification of the cosmos is rapidly approaching the surface and will soon reach the human world. The time we have to cultivate and awaken sentient beings is running out. I hope to do well in my personal cultivation and assist Master in saving sentient beings, fulfilling the vows and promises I made. As we get closer to the end, we must be even more diligent. Cultivation is very serious, and the more I cultivate, the more I realize how immense the responsibility of Dafa practitioners is and how great their mission is.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!