(Minghui.org) I came to the United States to visit my children in 1993 and have not returned to China since. I’m an elderly Falun Dafa practitioner who obtained the Fa in the United States in 2002.
When I was growing up, a fortuneteller told my parents that I would live to be 76 years old at the most. This was already considered a long life at that time. However, I am 91 this year. Master Li extended my life, and Dafa has changed my destiny.
My mother died when I was 19, and the youngest of my siblings was only 6. My father was arrested by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and taken to a labor camp because he had money.
I’m the eldest daughter in the family, so I took on the responsibilities of a mother at a young age. Although I was physically weak, my hands and feet were handy, and I worked hard. I was very good at all kinds of farm work, such as pulling weeds and transplanting and harvesting rice. Given my family background, I was ostracized by those who lived near me. I kept my head down and swallowed my pride. I lived in this state of inferiority for the first half of my life. I was very tense and worried all the time.
After coming to the United States, I lived with my son in Rhode Island. Even before moving to the U.S., I’d suffered from gastric ulcers for decades. I also suffered from gastric atrophy and acute insomnia caused by neurasthenia. I couldn’t eat or sleep well for many years. I once had a cold and couldn’t get out of bed. I was afraid to go to the hospital and ended up suffering at home for several months. I was skinny and weighed only about 70 pounds. When I appeared to be in critical condition, my son had to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital. I was eventually discharged from the hospital, but I still had a hard time eating.
My daughter, who lives in New Jersey, brought her child to visit me. I wanted the child to take care of me. She fed me over 10 times a day, giving me two tablespoons of soup each time. I couldn’t eat any meat or food prepared with oil. My stomach hurt if I ate anything with a little oil in it. Because of insomnia, my head felt swollen and hurt. My daughter then took me to her home in New Jersey to recuperate.
I once couldn’t sleep for a week, even after taking sleeping pills. My daughter called the doctor, who said, “Given your mother’s current condition, I suggest you take her to a church to pray.” I was lying on the sofa and heard that I was going to be taken to a church. I told my daughter that I didn’t want to go to a church but promised to study Falun Dafa instead.
I knew that my daughter had recovered from her ailments after practicing Falun Dafa, and she’d repeatedly suggested that I try it. But I had been deceived by the self-immolation hoax on Tiananmen Square that was broadcast on Chinese television. The horrible scenes in that broadcast of that fake suicide left a deep impression on me. I thought practicing Falun Dafa might lead me astray. Although I thought the hospital was my only hope of being saved, a doctor wanted to send me to church. So I thought, “Why not learn Falun Dafa?”
It was hard to do the exercises because of my condition. My daughter wanted to read the Fa to me, but I said, “I can’t sleep at night, and I won’t sleep if I listen to you reading during the day.” My daughter replied, “Just give it a try.” So she read the Fa to me and, after a few pages, I fell asleep.
After I slept for over two hours, I felt energized. I then ate a little and asked my daughter to continue reading. I fell asleep again. At this point, I understood just how good the Fa was. The next day, I lay on the sofa, and my daughter played the video of Master’s Fa lectures for me. Although I didn’t know what he was talking about, I felt I had more energy the more I listened. Before I knew it, I could eat, sleep, stand up, and learn the exercises with my daughter.
After practicing for six months, I had recovered and gained 30 pounds. Dafa gave me a new life!
In the early stage of my cultivation practice, I listened to Master’s Fa lectures every day. My daughter suggested I read the Dafa books, but I thought it was impossible. I had not been to school since I was a child and could only write my name. How could I read books if I was illiterate?
One day I saw the book Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa, sitting on the table and noticed golden stars flying out of it. Oh, my! My daughter was right. This really was a golden book! It was Master who was encouraging me to read the book and study the Fa. When I opened the book, the golden stars jumped out of the book two more times.
I listened to my daughter when she was reading, as well as when fellow practitioners read at another practitioner’s home. I participated in group Fa study and listened attentively to everyone. Gradually, I recognized the characters, but I couldn’t keep up with the pace of the group. I would read the wrong line and couldn’t find the sentence. I had to use my fingerto follow the characters. Wherever my finger went, the characters would change color. Sometimes they were red, sometimes they were yellow. The color moved with my finger. That way, I didn’t skip lines or miss words. It was Master who taught me to learn the characters and study the Fa. I learned to read without realizing it. I can now read all of Master’s books and articles.
I worked hard all my life, so I always wanted life to be more comfortable when I was older. When I meditated and sent forth righteous thoughts, I liked to lean against the wall. My daughter repeatedly reminded me not to do that, but I turned a deaf ear to her. After leaning against the wall for 20 years, I became somewhat hunchbacked, and I didn’t even want to see myself in a mirror.
Master asks us to keep our bodies upright when we meditate, but I didn’t. My desire for comfort made me disobey his instructions, and I ended up becoming hunchbacked. I began to realize my problems and paid attention to looking up, not leaning against the back of the chair when sitting, and not leaning against the wall when meditating.
My desire for comfort made me very passive about doing the three things. Before going out to distribute informational materials about Falun Dafa, I would check the weather first. I would not go out if it was cold, hot, windy, or rainy. When my daughter tried to encourage me, I would raise my voice and use ordinary people’s reasoning to defend myself. Often, my son-in-law, who was not a practitioner, would defend me when he heard me complain: “Mother doesn’t want to go out. Why are you trying to force her to?”
This made my daughter speechless. I thought to myself that the elderly practitioners in our group had not gone out either. Deep down, I worried about my own personal gains and losses. I know Dafa is good, and I’ve benefited from it. During the Fa-rectification period, Dafa practitioners must do the three things. Not going out to save people is not okay. I knew this, but I did not feel like doing it.
I had the attachment to fear, and Master arranged many opportunities for me to get rid of it. When I first obtained the Fa, I chatted with my neighbor and suddenly heard him cough. I lied and said that something was cooking on the stove and ran off. My daughter chased after me and asked, “Mother, why did you lie?” I replied, “He was coughing, and I was afraid of getting infected.
For some time, my eyesight would get blurry after reading for a while. The longer I read, the blurrier my sight. I began to panic, afraid that I could not study the Fa and cultivate anymore. The more frightened I was, the harder it was for me to see clearly. My daughter reminded me, “Didn’t your cataract disappear after studying the Fa? How could your sight get blurrier the more you study?” I quickly looked inward, found the fear, and got rid of it. I now insist on reading every day, and the words in Zhuan Falun have become bigger, and my vision is clearer.
My son-in-law once traveled to China, and my daughter went to Canada with the Divine Land Marching Band. In the middle of the night, I felt my heart was in my throat. I was very nervous. What should I do since no one was at home? I wanted to call my daughter and ask her to come back, but then I thought it was important for her to go to Canada so more people could hear about Dafa. I shouldn’t make her come back. I had Master’s protection, so I was not afraid. As soon as I raised my righteous thoughts, Master helped me resolve the problem, and my heartbeat returned to normal.
At the onset of the pandemic, my daughter insisted on working in the office, which made my family very nervous. My son, who lived in Rhode Island, took me from my daughter’s home in New Jersey to his home. At my son’s home, I developed symptoms of herpes zoster (shingles), and my skin ulcerated. My daughter-in-law was terrified and didn’t dare to tell my son.
I wanted to go back to my daughter’s home in New Jersey and ask her to help me through this karmic test, but she replied, “You’ve been practicing Falun Dafa for so many years. You can’t always rely on others. You have to pass the test using your righteous thoughts. Just think about why you left my home.”
I thought about it. The attachment of fear caused it. At the time, the pandemic had already started in New York. I was afraid that my daughter would bring the virus home by taking the train back and forth. I was worried that I would be easily infected at my age. My son was living in sparsely-populated Rhode Island, and I thought his home might be safer, so I left quietly without telling my daughter.
Fear made me think about things with human notions, and I didn’t regard myself as a cultivator. Once I found my attachment, my daughter helped me to study the Fa on the phone and send forth righteous thoughts. With Master’s blessing, I got rid of my fear, and the false appearance of shingles quickly disappeared.
I had lived through decades of the CCP’s persecution movements. All I thought about was to be on guard against attachments. Over time, negative thinking had become a habit. I didn’t think positively when I encountered anything. My jealousy was also strong, but I didn’t recognize it.
When I saw a fellow practitioner who was absentminded and slept during Fa-study, I talked about him behind his back instead of reminding him in person. When my daughter pointed it out, I retorted that I saw all of this with my own eyes, it was all true, and I didn’t badmouth people. I didn’t realize that this harmful habit was causing trouble, and jealousy made me compare myself to fellow practitioners.
My brothers and sisters all envied me. I had a devoted son, a kind daughter-in-law, a good son-in-law, and an excellent granddaughter. Only my daughter, a fellow practitioner, gave me a hard time. The two of us never gave up our competitiveness. Whenever we got together, we would exchange sharp words and criticize each other over trivial matters.
My daughter did not let go of her sentimentality, either. To help me strengthen my main consciousness, she constantly pointed out my problems: I read the wrong words when studying the Fa and did not do the exercises correctly. I forgot to close the drawer after opening it, I did not turn off the faucet tightly, etc. She nagged me about trivial matters over and over again. When I got sleepy while studying the Fa, she even told me to stand up. I started to get nervous as soon as she entered the home. I missed my daughter when she was not at home and was annoyed when she was.
I was always uncomfortable during the first few years when my daughter worked in the media. She went to New York daily and didn’t spend much time at home. I wondered why practitioners in our Fa study group did not go to New York. When I couldn’t find something at home, my first reaction was that she must have taken it to New York. I couldn’t finish eating all the vegetables I grew myself, so my daughter wanted to take them to New York. I said, “Such a big place needs your vegetables?” My daughter said I was jealous, but I didn’t admit it.
Something that happened recently made me see my strong jealousy. My sister had a great-grandson. I said nice things when I was looking at videos of the baby, but I didn’t feel happy, and I didn’t call to congratulate her. My daughter said, “You’re jealous. Your granddaughter doesn’t even have a boyfriend, and your sister has lived together with four generations. You feel upset!” My daughter woke up my conscience. Yes, how could I be unhappy when I saw others doing well? How could I be jealous when it came to my relatives? This jealousy was bad, and I had to get rid of it. I called my sister and joyfully talked about family matters.
My daughter has a small yard and grows vegetables every spring. I started farming with my mother when I was 13 years old, so I have a lot of experience. I don’t buy fertilizer but have a good harvest every year. The big winter melons may weigh up to 40 or 50 pounds. Everyone loves the small golden tomatoes. Last year, six cucumber vines grew more than 150 long, straight cucumbers, many of which grew in pairs. It was amazing!
We share my vegetables with relatives, friends, and neighbors. Everyone praises me. They all know that I practice Falun Dafa. This also validates the extraordinary nature of Dafa. I am an old lady who can care for herself, do housework, and grow good vegetables. Last year was the best harvest ever, and it was also when I distributed the most truth-clarification fliers. I went out to do that five days a week, did housework, studied the Fa, practiced the exercises, and grew vegetables. I didn’t missed anything. I knew this was Master’s blessing and Master was encouraging me.
But things changed this year. My granddaughter went to California. No one picked me up during the day, so I could not go out. My daughter was busy on weekends and did not come home. I did not want to trouble my son-in-law. I was very anxious and didn’t know what to do.
I began to complain about my daughter. My xinxing fell, and the vegetables in the yard did not grow well. The cucumbers had almost all male flowers—hardly any female flowers. Some finally grew, but they all had big bellies and thin necks. The tomatoes had no buds and did not bloom. No matter how hard I tried to take care of them, it was useless. I did not do the three things well, and the vegetables did not do well.
I attributed the problems to my daughter not coming home. My daughter reminded me, “There are a lot of things to do in the company. So, if I don’t come back, you won’t go out to tell people the facts about Falun Dafa? It is still light at eight or nine in the evening in the summer. As long as you have the heart to save people, you can go out.”
Yes, I can’t back down when I encounter a little difficulty. The practitioners in our group all know that my son-in-law is kindhearted. He is willing to help anyone, so I don’t know why I avoided asking him to take me out to clarify the truth. I always felt that asking for help was bothering others. I didn’t realize that it was the evil old forces using my human notions to prevent me from going out to save people.
I had to think about it in another way. My son-in-law is doing a good thing by taking me out to save people. I’m helping him to accumulate virtue instead of bothering him. I have to let go of sentimentality, break through human notions, and not be fooled by the old forces.
My daughter asked me to listen to the Minghui Radio program about Fa-rectification period cultivation and watch less television news. I listened to the radio programs over and over again, comparing them with my own cultivation. When I encounter things, I no longer feel I have to choose between right and wrong, and I’m not so competitive. I can calm down.
Thinking of the practitioners in China saving people in such a difficult environment, I also want to go out to save more people. On Sunday, I finish lunch early and wait for my daughter to take me to the attractions near Princeton to distribute materials at any time. Sometimes, I tell Chinese tourists the truth about Falun Dafa.
After distributing materials, I hurry home to help my daughter cook dinner. To meet different needs, my daughter has to cook about six small but specific dishes each time. I try my best to cooperate with her and no longer restrict her to my own standards. There are fewer arguments in the kitchen, and the atmosphere is peaceful. In the past, I felt that my daughter was very selfish, that she didn’t care about the family and only cared about her own consummation. I now think that she’s very strong. She works elsewhere for six days, and when she comes home, she has to take me out to distribute materials. She prepares delicious food for the family and then returns to New York. After changing my mindset and eliminating negative thoughts, I realize it is not easy for her.
Our entire family has become accustomed to this fast-paced routine during the past few years. I’m delighted to be able to go out to save people. I’ve had many touching experiences distributing materials. Some people who understood the truth about Dafa offered me money, some brought me coffee and snacks, and some sent flowers. There were also Americans who hadn’t seen me for several years and hugged me.
I’m happy seeing sentient beings being saved. Every time I come back from distributing materials, I feel very relaxed. I don’t feel tired when I cook, mop the floor, and wash with my daughter. I know that it’s due to Master’s blessing and encouragement.
There are many things to tell. I’m 91 years old. With the guidance of Dafa and with the protection of compassionate Master, I have passed one test after another. I am grateful to Master for being able to follow him to this day. I can’t express my gratitude in words.
I am grateful to compassionate and great Master for saving me! Finally, I would like to thank my fellow practitioners in our Fa-study group for their care and help. During the past 20 years, they have taken me to participate in Fa-study every week. They also take me to participate in Dafa activities so that I’ve never fallen behind.
Thank you, Master and fellow practitioners!