(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
Before the COVID-19 pandemic, I operated a small shop and sold handbags, jewelry, and clothing. I was surprised that about 70% of my customers did not accept the price and wanted to bargain. Some customers even haggled in front of others, putting me in a dilemma.
I began to wonder if this showed me that I had a cultivation issue. The other shop owners explained that bargaining was normal. I didn’t know what to do. Wouldn’t it be unfair to those who bought the goods at the original price, but I later changed the price? If I remained firm about my price, wouldn’t it discourage people from buying?
I resolved to stick to the original price, and none of my customers tried to bargain over the next few days. Perhaps they were suppressed by my firm thoughts. As soon as I relaxed, though, people began bargaining again.
I was exhausted and felt that I was expending too much effort on this.
One elderly woman who was a regular customer kept telling me how she usually bought clothes from her neighbor for years, yet she only got a small discount. I advised her to lower her voice and be more open-minded. I wondered if she was grumbling about my lack of discounts behind my back.
Through interacting with people in this environment, I gained a deeper understanding of human feelings and thoughts. As Master said:
“The criteria by which a person determines whether someone or something is good or bad revolves around himself: “If he’s good to me, then I say he’s good. If what he does benefits me, then I say he’s good.” (“No Demonstrations When Saving People and Teaching Fa,” Zhuan Falun Volume II).
Some people did not attempt to bargain. I gave my regular customers a discount to thank them for their support. If they were not regulars, I did not offer any discount in line with Master’s teaching of “no loss, no gain.” If the person who bargains unfairly gains, she would give me virtue. If the person did not bargain, then she would not owe me anything.
I had human attachments. I often discounted items for customers who spoke to me nicely as long as the price they wanted did not go below my bottom line. But some people acted as though they were collecting a debt from me and said they would only buy if I discounted the items.
After this happened several times, I knew this was my human attachment to wanting to hear good things and getting upset when I felt people offended me. From the perspective of the Fa, perhaps I harmed this person in another lifetime and they were paying me back. Weren’t they trying to help me cultivate? Many ordinary people live in delusion, so I should have compassion for them.
Several customers complained about their troubles. I started to wonder if I had similar attachments, but I did not see them. Some attachments are so ingrained that we no longer see them. According to the Fa, nothing practitioners encounter is by accident. When I reflected on myself, I did have such attachments that were caused by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture I was raised in.
I interacted with many different people at work, and I used every opportunity to clarify the truth and gave them leaflets. Sometimes I also gave my customers small lotus flowers. Many people still don’t know why the CCP is persecuting Falun Dafa, and I usually bring up the topic in friendly conversations. Most customers accepted what I said, but a few refused to listen. One customer said, “Ah, you’re a Falun Dafa practitioner. I won’t buy anything from you.” I was unmoved.
One elderly lady had a stroke and wanted to buy a sofa cover to cover the seat of her electric scooter. The cover was too large, so I suggested she take it to a seamstress to have it altered. But she said it was hard for her and she asked me to help her. I asked the lady next door, who repaired bags, to help modify the cover and we settled on the alteration fee. I measured the seat dimensions and provided the elastic for free.
I felt I did my best, but when the elderly lady came to pick up her seat cover, she complained about the expensive alteration fee and even said I'd padded the bill. I felt sad and angry that my efforts weren’t appreciated. Afterward, I calmed down and thought about where I went wrong. I discovered the problem lay in the alteration cost. I should have let the customer and seamstress negotiate directly instead of making the decision. Although I believed the price was reasonable, my customer might have refused. I realized a very important fact – while doing good deeds, one also needs to pay attention to the process. It has to be done in such a way that it considers the other party’s concerns. With this, I let go of my negative thoughts towards this elderly lady.
I closed my store this year. A few weeks before I closed, an elderly lady came to buy clothes. I told her about the persecution and gave her some truth-clarification materials. She told me that, for some reason, she felt motivated to buy clothes from me. For years, she never thought about buying clothes from the other shops. Yet she suddenly had the urge to buy from me. I was surprised to hear this but I'm sure she came to learn about Dafa.
Before I began practicing, I felt I was a strong and brave person. After I began cultivating, I discovered that I avoided trouble. If there was a lot of pressure at work, I thought about resigning. It was hard for me to understand this contradiction in my character. I also discovered I had difficulty remembering painful events from my past.
After I closed my store, I received an offer for a three-month part-time job. This job, which involved interacting with people over the phone, was so different from my previous job that I had no experience. Few employees could speak Chinese, so I was contacted to fill the vacancy.
This home-based job allowed me to work flexible hours. At the beginning, I felt terrified, which manifested as queasiness, bloating, and a rapid heart rate. I sent forth righteous thoughts until I could calm down and my symptoms disappeared. My fear faded as soon as I started making phone calls but reappeared the following day. This repeatedly happened, and my condition fluctuated. I keep looking inward, while repeatedly studying Master’s lecture “The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be”.
When I was 13, I lived in a boarding school. Coupled with intense pressure to excel in my studies, my health began to deteriorate. I was forced to face and endure many difficulties alone. When I got older I realized this CCP-influenced society was forcing students to leave their family environment from an early age, and emphasized an education model that only recognized academic scores. The children subconsciously harbored pain and fear. Even my self-perceived strength and bravery came about because I had no choice. When I was allowed to choose, I wanted to leave due to my fear and pain but I forgot what caused my pain. This protective mechanism prevented me from remembering my painful memories.
I felt Master was trying to tell me that I had to face this pain. I calmed down and tried to recall these painful and frightening memories, telling myself not to be afraid, and that everything was in the past.
After I kept doing this, I found the capacity of my heart expanded and I faced my past pain, grievances, helplessness, fear, and other bad emotions. My fear also diminished. I realized the meaning behind what Master said: “The appearance stems from the mind.”
Master also said, “The bigger you perceive the challenges to be, the harder things will be to carry out, since “the appearance stems from the mind.” And so the task will become increasingly burdensome. When I say “the appearance stems from the mind,” by that I also mean that the difficulty stems from your overstating the importance of the matter itself and seeing yourself in a lesser light.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume X)
My irrational fear weakened, and I was able to clearly see my hidden attachments, such as the pursuit of fame and vanity.
My persistent fear left me constantly alert and on edge. Changes happening in the world caused my anxiety to grow. After I realized this, I began correcting my mindset and I stopped being swayed by external influences.
To relieve stress, some people overeat or go on shopping sprees. I watched videos even though I knew I shouldn’t. As I watched my worries melted away and I enjoyed a short-term feeling of relaxation. At times when I felt too tired from work, my subconsciousness would float the idea of watching videos after work to relax. Tempted, I would end up watching videos. Once after watching, it felt like my body was wrapped in an invisible substance, weighing me down. My body felt weak and cold, and I felt a strong sense of impending crisis. I quickly practiced the exercises while continuously apologizing to Master. I hated myself for not living up to Master’s expectations. At the same time, I felt a sense of helplessness. I wanted to eliminate this attachment, but my desire felt out of my control. After completing the exercises, I broke into a cold sweat and my body returned to normal.
I was not able to stop watching videos. My previous attempts helped expose my various human attachments, such as curiosity and desire to escape reality. I also kept telling myself that the desire to watch came from external influences, and my main consciousness had to remain vigilant to ward off this desire. No matter what I did, I wanted to watch videos. Perhaps because I wished to rid myself of this bad habit, or perhaps I reached the point where it was necessary to eliminate this attachment. One day while studying the Fa, I came across the section in Zhuan Falun about quitting smoking, and I was suddenly enlightened. If I replaced smoking with watching videos, this Fa would describe my current state. At the root of my attachment was the desire to relax.
As Master said, “I advise everyone that if you truly want to cultivate you should quit smoking from now on, and it is guaranteed that you can quit.” ( Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I knew I had to finally quit. Afterward, I felt my interest in videos wane—my urge vanished. I realized that my video-watching pastime stemmed from my desire to avoid thinking about discomfort or pain.
When I reflect on the past three months, I’m grateful to Master for his careful arrangements. Through my new job, I’ve been able to face my fear head-on and it helped me get rid of bad habits.
I am grateful to Master and Dafa, for guiding me away from my attachment to fame, gain, and human emotion. Master helped me to eliminate my demonic side and nurture my Buddha nature.
(Presented at the 2024 Singapore Fa Conference)