(Minghui.org) Gao is a veteran practitioner and attended Master’s Fa lectures in the early years. I met her at our local practice site when I first started practicing Falun Dafa. We pulled through many hardships during the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) persecution over the past 20-plus years. It’s been particularly difficult for her, because in addition to the persecution and harassment from the CCP, she had severe asthma attacks.
Gao examined herself to see if she could identify any attachments she hadn’t eliminated and she often discussed her problems with other practitioners. She realized she had a competitive mentality and was attached to personal gain. She tried hard to strengthen her righteous thoughts and let go of these attachments. However, her health didn’t improve much over the years, and she felt frustrated.
Two years ago, Gao was unlawfully held in a detention center. After she was released, she told other practitioners that she regretted very much that she cooperated with the guards while she was under pressure. She sent a solemn declaration to Minghui.org as soon as she got home.
Gao came to my place a few days ago and told me that her asthma was getting worse. She felt it was because she hadn’t exposed some of the bad things she did in the past. So, she wrote another solemn declaration and wanted me to look at it before she submitted it to Minghui.org.
Her declaration began with the word regret, written three times, and an exclamation mark after each. I knew that she must have felt deep remorse from the bottom of her heart, but I told her that she didn’t need to express her regret this way. She only needed to explain clearly what she did wrong, identify her xinxing problems, and resolve to rectify them.
Gao returned two days later. She looked very pale and was short of breath. “My asthma has gotten even worse, and I’m really worried. I’m not afraid of death, but I don’t want to make Falun Dafa look bad. My friends and family know that I practice, and what would they think if I died?” Her face was sad as she spoke.
She asked me to download the most recent Minghui Weekly for her because her Internet wasn’t working properly. While I was downloading it, she asked me to check if her most recent “solemn declaration” had been published. I did, but we only saw the one she submitted the year before.
She asked me to see if the declaration she submitted in 2007 was published. I couldn’t find it—I only found the one she submitted in 2008. I suddenly understood why she suffered asthma attacks all these years.
“Tell me,” she said eagerly.
“Over the years, you submitted a ‘solemn declaration’ from time to time, and you also suffered asthma attacks again and again, right?”
“Yes, but what does that mean?” She asked, looking puzzled.
“Practitioners write those declarations because they gave in under pressure against their conscience and told the guards they would stop practicing Falun Dafa. Afterwards, they ask Master to forgive them, saying that they will continue practicing. The solemn declarations they write are promises to Master, right?” She said yes.
“However, they repeatedly failed to keep their promises, and they also repeatedly wrote declarations. You have done the same. If Master was standing right here and asked you when you’ll be able to pass the test, and can Master trust your solemn declaration this time, what would you say?” Gao couldn’t answer my question and looked ashamed.
“In cultivation, if we keep failing tests, it means that we have not improved in those areas. So many years have passed, and so much precious time has been wasted. If we keep making the same mistakes on critical issues, our cultivation will fail. Wouldn’t our efforts over so many years have been in vain,” I asked.
“Ever since we started cultivating in Dafa, we learned from Master’s Fa teachings that we should rectify ourselves by letting go of personal fame and gain, and life and death; but have we truly let go of these things after all these years? You’re almost 70 now, and I’m in my 50s. We’ve been through so much. We should ask ourselves what attachments haven’t we let go of. Are they material comforts, emotional attachments to our family and others?
“In today’s China, the average life span is around 75, but many people, mostly because of poor health, don’t live that long. Master has extended the life spans of true Dafa practitioners, but the extended time is for our cultivation. What would happen if we kept failing the tests on crucial issues? The old forces are watching us very closely, and what would they do when they see us repeatedly writing solemn declarations and deceiving Master again and again and see us behaving the same way without making any effort to improve ourselves?”
While I was saying this, I felt that I was not only reminding Gao but asking myself the same questions sincerely in my heart.
“The Fa-rectification has progressed to this day and could end at any time. We can also see this from the changes in ordinary society. I would not be surprised if Master said that the Fa-rectification will end tomorrow. The only regret and anxiety I feel would be that I still have too many human attachments to relinquish. So, every test we encounter now is probably the last chance we have. We must not take it easy anymore because the chances we have are truly few now.” My heart felt very heavy when I said those words.
“A solemn declaration is a promise to Master. It must be ‘solemn,’ and such a declaration can only be made once. It would be best not to have to make such a declaration at all. We only make them when we fail to meet the requirements of the Fa due to our poor understanding and conduct. Master is immensely compassionate and has not given up on us. He has given us another chance to amend ourselves. We must never take advantage of Master’s compassion by slacking off. We must take responsibility for ourselves because the number of chances for us is diminishing.
“Forget about the solemn declarations you wrote and your asthma. Let bygones be bygones, keep what Master said in mind every day, and do what Master told us to do. Each day is precious, and we should not slack off again. We must keep improving until the end of Fa-rectification.”
When I finished talking, I took a deep breath, as if I had done something important, and I felt relieved.
Gao solemnly said, “I understand now. I feel Master is giving me hints through your words. Master must be so worried about my cultivation state!”
“Yes, I feel the same. Master has arranged for this opportunity so that we can share and improve together.”
Just then, I noticed that Gao’s complexion gradually became rosy, and her breathing was less labored. I told her this, and she said happily, “You’re right. I can feel it! The discomfort in my neck and throat is gone.”
After Gao left, I felt that a lot of impure elements were removed from my body, and I was engulfed in a clean, relaxed, and comfortable feeling.
I like talking, and have a good understanding of the Fa principles. So when I talk to fellow practitioners, I tend to be loud and strong-willed or critical or blame them when I see something not to my liking and there’s no kindness in my tone of voice. Practitioners often say that talking to me is stressful. But today, although I asked Gao questions, I felt that everything I said was to benefit her and was from the bottom of my heart. At the same time, I asked myself the same questions I asked her, and I sincerely hoped that both of us would cultivate better. I felt incredibly grateful to Master for his immense compassion and salvation.
The above are my understanding and experiences at my current level. Please kindly point out anything that is not in line with the Fa.