(Minghui.org) I am now 13 years old. I was born in China and came to the United States when I was eight years old. This is my second time to participate in the Chinese classical dance summer camp held by the Shen Yun Arts Proficiency Assessment Center.
Besides progressing in dancing and cultivation, I still remember some interesting things from last year: barbecues, water fights, birthdays, and all kinds of fun things.
In this year’s summer camp, the teachers arranged more fun activities for us and provided more enriched courses of higher standards in dance. The teacher was especially teaching us how to express the charm of traditional Chinese dance. But what is more important to me is that I have made new progress in my personal cultivation.
Once, the student in front of me was not practicing seriously during a group exercise, which made me unhappy and a little angry. I thought, how could that student do this?
I calmed down and looked inward after finishing the exercises, and I found that I was jealous of how that student could be lazy and practice so comfortably, but I couldn’t relax like him. I realized that this thought was bad. I was considered an older sister in this summer camp. How could I be lazy just because younger students didn’t practice exercises properly? I should be a role model for other students instead of being influenced by their bad behavior.
The next day, I practiced the exercises truly seriously. I was surprised to find that the students who usually made a fuss were also practicing seriously. I realized that it was because I had passed this xinxing test, so they would thus be able to naturally practice well.
Master said,
“Some people appear to be quite diligent as they cultivate, studying the Fa and doing the exercises, but they don’t look within. But if you don’t look within, think about it, aren’t you an ordinary person then? Does any ordinary person look within?” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XIII)
In fact, many times, other people’s behavior is to test ourselves. When we see other people’s mistakes, we should not only think about their mistakes, but first look inward, and look if there is something we need to improve.
One student and I made some mistakes in our dance moves and the teacher told us about it several times, but we still didn’t remember to correct them. In the subsequent rehearsal, we made the same mistake again. After class, the teacher pointed out our mistake with a serious manner.
I felt that the teacher’s tone was harsher when she talked to me, so I felt that the teacher was biased and it was unfair. Later, I looked within myself and found that I had a strong sense of resentment and complaint.
Master said,
“If you always reject reproaches and criticism, always point your fingers at others, and always refute others’ disapproval and criticism, is that cultivating? How is that cultivating?” (Teachings at the Conference in Los Angeles)
I felt ashamed. I only paid attention to the teacher’s attitude towards me, and complained about it, but didn’t think about why the teacher criticized me. I complained and didn’t take the teacher’s words to heart, so I didn’t change.
I would also feel sleepy and want to sleep when I was studying the Fa and if I saw others who were playing or sleeping, I battled in my mind. One side said it was okay to have a nap after a long and tiresome day. The other side said Fa studying was a serious matter and I should not be lazy and go to sleep.
In the discussion after Fa study, the teacher told us a story in a sharing article that there are demons of sleep who are interfering with practitioners. I understood that my desire to sleep while studying the Fa was caused by interference from demons. I decided that I must wake up my main consciousness and quickly clear the interference when I feel sleepy while studying the Fa in the future. I will not be controlled by demons.
Master said,
“This is your thought karma severely interfering with you and not letting you read the book and study the Fa. It makes you feel sleepy and want to fall asleep. It makes you lose your righteous thoughts and righteous faith. When it gets anxious, it will even manifest itself to interfere with you, even causing words to appear in your head.”
Master also said:
“Isn’t it obvious? Thought karma or outside interference is at work and preventing you from elevating. That’s because your improvement eliminates it. I’ve said that I would eliminate your karma. When it is truly eliminated, it is truly disintegrated. Will it accept that? So it does everything it can to fight back. If you consider those things a part of you, then you won’t be able to obtain the Fa, for the Fa is given to you and it absolutely can’t be given to that karma. So, you need to overcome it. No matter how sleepy you get, you need to overcome, suppress, and eliminate it. The moment you break through this barrier is also the moment it is eliminated.” (Teachings at the Conference in Australia)
Now I understand the truth about feeling sleepy when studying the Fa. When I feel sleepy again, I will send forth righteous thoughts and ask Master to strengthen me and help me eliminate interference and overcome the hurdle.