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My Long Journey of Searching for the Fa

Aug. 10, 2024 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Florida

(Minghui.org) I was baptized as a Catholic when I was three days old. I spent my teenage years attending Mass and Sunday school. Going to church was an important part of my life. But no one ever told me to read the Bible, and I knew very little about the Catholic Church. It wasn’t until I was 14 that I began to think about the true meaning of life and question the reason we attended church so frequently. After that, I stopped going to church.

When I was in college in Taipei, there was a certain church near the school, and I was able to observe the speech and behavior of the missionaries who rode bicycles around the campus. I was one of the few students who asked them questions about religion. Based on their answers, I started to practice Mormonism.

I was very devout and strictly followed the teachings. I felt peaceful, fulfilled, and happy. I studied the teachings diligently and often went on stage to talk about my experiences—until one day I could no longer raise my right hand and swear, “This church is the only one true church in the world.” Because of my doubts and withdrawal, the young friends I led to the meetings were disappointed and confused. Having lost both faith and friendship, I felt even more lost and my heart ached.

I moved to the United States to study in 1986. My life was busy but my heart was empty. So I followed my classmates and roommates and attended their Christian church for a year, but I was disappointed.

After I earned my master’s degree, I went to pharmacy school for five years, where I had in-depth contact with many Muslims from the Middle East, Pakistan, and India. I admired their piety in worshiping Allah and submitting to the will of God from the bottom of their hearts, so I began to read the Koran. I started learning Arabic and even wore a hijab (headscarf) as a devout Muslim. But after a few years, I still had many doubts and confusion. I saw too much hypocrisy, too many differences between the speech and actions in the Muslims I interacted with, and I gradually withdrew. Once again I felt like a spiritual vagabond, and I was alone.

I started working as a pharmacist, and my life was very busy—but after my workday ended, my life seemed even more empty.

I married an American man, a scientist, and then he was diagnosed with brain cancer. My sister sent many Falun Dafa books for my husband, hoping he would benefit from reading them. Because I had a stereotypical idea that a man who was proud to be an American and was engaged in biochemistry research would not be open to any ideology or spiritual ideas from China, I did not show him the books. He passed away from cancer.

After my husband died, I no longer had to spend hours taking care of him and had time to read Zhuan Falun. This was a huge turning point in my life. I was no longer filled with fear and emptiness—I was completely convinced this was a true cultivation practice and I was grateful for Master’s teachings.

Learning about the CCP’s Persecution

Because I was born in a village for military dependents and grew up in an anti-communist atmosphere, I was well aware of the true nature of the CCP. After I began practicing, I learned about the CCP’s brutal persecution of Falun Dafa. I started to look for persecution cases on the Minghui website and I called China to ask police officers to not be involved in the vicious persecution.

I was often awakened by phone calls in the middle of the night. I heard my second husband, who couldn’t speak Chinese, telling the people on the other end, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” Those were the only Chinese words he knew. I was deeply moved and burst into tears.

At that time, I didn’t know practitioners were phoning China to clarify the truth. I just relied on righteous thoughts to clarify the truth as best I could. However, due to the huge pressure at work and the high cost of phone calls, I temporarily stopped. Who would have thought that this break would last until 2022?

Not calling China caused me to feel deep regret. Finally, encouraged by my sister, at the end of 2022, I regained the courage to start calling again, continuing my long-cherished wish to clarify the truth to mainland Chinese people.

Due to the nature of my work as a pharmacist, I was quite stressed since I couldn’t make any mistakes. I really wanted to rest and relax at the end of each day. But when I remembered the importance of clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings, I realized it didn’t hurt to sleep less. After all, it’s our urgent responsibility to seize the time and help Master save sentient beings.

Using Righteous Thoughts to Overcome Hardships

My younger brother passed away suddenly in 2023 from a brain disease, which left me with endless regret and sadness. I had let myself get too wrapped up with work and neglected to tell my little brother to study the Fa and practice the Dafa exercises, so this kindhearted soul failed to obtain the Fa.

By diligently studying the Fa, I overcame my attachment to my family.

At that time, I worked from 1 p.m. to 12 midnight every day. During the peak period of the epidemic, I even worked seven days a week. My job was mentally and physically exhausting.

One night in July 2023 when I came home from work, I couldn’t get out of the car. My husband had to carefully and slowly lift me out. The next morning, I couldn’t get out of bed. This was frustrating and frightening. I immediately adjusted my mentality and remembered what Master said,

“This is something I often say: Once you take up Dafa, whatever it is you encounter—good or bad—is a good thing...” (Teaching at the 2005 Conference in San Francisco)

I was unable to stand up due to the severe pain from a bulging disc and sciatica. I could only barely maintain a 90-degree bend, and I couldn’t pick up small objects. I felt ashamed. I’d been practicing for more than 20 years. Why was I not making progress but going backwards instead?

I realized that, because of my focus on work and my attachment to my high salary, I spend a lot of time and energy focused on ordinary people’s work and I ignored the three things that Master said we should do. I’d submitted my resignation three times but withdrew it every time, because I was attached to my position as a pharmacist and the human benefits it brought. After the crippling pain alerted me to my mistakes, I resolutely submitted my resignation and this time I didn’t withdraw it.

I know that as a Dafa disciple, even though I’m not diligent, I have a mission. I firmly believed that my physical pain, pain so severe I could barely stand up, was not a disease, definitely not a disease. I used my newly-gained free time to study the Fa, do the exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts all day. I told myself, “Don’t think too much about anything. Just believe in Master and the Fa.”

After a week of this, I was finally able to stand up from a chair or bed relatively effortlessly, and in the next week, the pain throughout my body disappeared. To be cured without seeing a doctor or taking any medicine was a miraculous thing that none of my ordinary friends believed at the time.

From this experience, I realized that when differnt situations arise in cultivation, it’s not only necessary to look within, but, more importantly, we should realized that our cultivated sides knows how to deal with things, how to think, and how to do well. Whenever you encounter any problems, you must think positively and have one hundred percent faith in Master and the Fa. Because Master is by our side, disciples can pass any test. After going through the heart-wrenching death of my brother and the almost unbearable sickness karma, I resumed my duty to clarify the truth to Chinese people.

Making Truth-clarification Calls to Save Chinese People

Of all the Dafa projects, calling China to save Chinese people is one of the most direct ways to clarify the truth and save sentient beings. Although the project has been in operation for many years and has gradually been forgotten by many practitioners, it is still very important and should not be ignored. If we calculate China’s population at roughly 1.4 billion people, excluding the 400 million Chinese who have died from COVID, there are still about 1 billion people left to be rescued. But so far, only 433 million have quit the CCP and been saved.

When it comes to clarifying the truth directly, it’s actually a process of testing oneself step by step to improve one’s character and let go of ordinary people's attachments.

Due to the limitations of the system, we cannot know in advance the background of the people who will answer the phone. It may be a primary or secondary school student, a blue collar worker, a senior Party official, or anyone else. Whatever the case, we must patiently tell them the facts with the utmost compassion. Of course, some people simply hang up the phone and won’t listen.

To improve my success rate, I started listening to several older practitioners as they talked on the phone. They often have pronounced accents, and what they say is simple. They also tell almost the same information to everyone, regardless of their backgrounds. But many who pick up their calls listen carefully, and these practitioners’ success rate is very high.

The only explanation I have for this is that these more experienced practitioners have studied the Fa diligently and their xinxing is good, so they can touch people’s hearts. If I study the Fa well, send forth righteous thoughts well, and have a high xinxing, I too can do a good job clarifying the truth and saving people.

Master said,

“As they see it, “If you are to save me, you have to reach my level first, and you must have this measure of mighty virtue before you can save me. Without such mighty virtue, without having reached my stature, how could you save me?” So they would have you trip and fall, suffer, and eliminate your attachments, after which, with your mighty virtue having been established, you will have cultivated to that level and be able to save them. That’s how they want to have it.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume XI)

I am strict about getting up at 5:30 a.m. every day (4:30 in winter) and logging onto the truth-clarification platform to send righteous thoughts, and study the Fa. Then I make truth-clarification calls. Often my phone calls have been hit or miss. I feel this is because I still have many attachments that I haven’t yet eliminated. Whether I do well or not at making phone calls reflects my cultivation status at that time. I plan to practice diligently, seize the time, and do well the three things that Master has asked us to do. That is the only way can we can live up to Master’s expectations.

These are some of my cultivation experiences. If there’s anything not in accordance with the Fa, please kindly correct me.

Thank you, Master, and thank you, all my fellow practitioners!

(Presented at the 2024 Florida Fa Conference)