(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Dafa for over 20 years and have tried my best to do the three things well. I’ve also kept up with Fa study and doing the exercises. However, I still feel that my xinxing hasn’t improved as much as I wished.
I’ve recently spent more time on Fa study and realized that my problem is looking within. I have come to the understanding that a Dafa practitioner must always look inward and let go of all human attachments through cultivation, and that the key to achieve this is studying the Fa well and conducting oneself by the Fa principles at all times. If not, we won’t be able to see our human attachments and notions, let alone eliminate them through cultivation. I would like to share some of my recent understandings on this.
The problem of treating looking within as going through the motions
Sometimes, when we realize that we have a certain attachment, we think we have already looked within, without digging deep enough to find the root cause. This is a very shallow and superficial way of looking within, and can result in looking for external reasons and making excuses, even though we may think that we shouldn’t argue with the other person. I should be tolerant and cultivate myself well, and so on.
With such an attitude, one is already unconsciously looking down on others instead of truly looking within.
The hindrance of separating Fa study from cultivation
We often fail to put what we’ve learned from the Fa into our cultivation practice. We feel we have understood some Fa principles, and our understanding also received recognition from other practitioners, so we think we are already cultivating and feel pretty good about ourselves.
The setback of treating doing things as cultivation
Some of us treat doing things as cultivation, thinking that if I take part in more Dafa-validation projects, and gain recognition from practitioners, then I must have cultivated pretty well. This mindset also prevents us from truly looking within.
There are many human attachments that block us from looking inward, such as attachments to ego, jealousy, pursuit of comfort, intolerance of hardship, injustice and grievance, etc. Every human attachment can prevent us from improving in cultivation.
I have realized from the Fa that if a Dafa practitioner cannot truly look within, he or she is not a genuine cultivator. In cultivation, we must get rid of all human attachments to be able to step away from human notions and walk towards godhood. Looking inward is a process of actively removing human attachments according to the requirements of the Fa, and actively assimilating to Dafa on our own initiative. It is the most serious and magnificent matter in the universe.
I realized that my problems came from failing to see the seriousness of cultivation and not truly studying the Fa well, or cherishing the precious opportunity to cultivate. I made up my mind to truly be strict with myself in cultivation.
Study the Fa more, study the Fa well, and follow the Fa principles at all times
I began to pay attention to every single thought, and ask myself why is my heart moved? Why am I feeling angry? Is it because I feel hurt or that others are looking down on me? Why shouldn’t others look down on me? By searching within deeply, I am able to detect and get rid of the selfishness at the core, as well as all kinds of emotions, notions, and attachments.
Unconditionally look within and live up to higher standards based on the Fa
I had a very difficult test that was hard to overcome. Master gave me some hints beforehand, indicating that I had some grievances from my previous life and I needed to repay the karmic debts. At first, I thought it was a good thing to eliminate karma and pay off the karmic debts, and I would soon get through it. But the reality wasn’t that easy. The situation became more and more difficult and hard to bear.
No matter how hard I tried, it wasn’t good enough for the other person. From an everyday person’s perspective, he was being “completely unreasonable.” But from a cultivator’s point of view, he was paving the way for me to elevate closer to heaven.
When my righteous thoughts were strong, I felt that I could endure the pain and pass the test. When my human notions got the upper hand, even just a little bit, I would find the situation extremely painful and unbearable. Even though I made up my mind time and time again to “endure” it, it wasn’t long before I started thinking, “When will this be over?” I failed to hold fast to true forbearance.
I later thought that only by letting go of all my attachments could I get through the test. But it was easier said than done. When my righteous thoughts were strong, I could let go of it, but a little while later my human attachments emerged again. I reminded myself to be tolerant and calmed down again. But not long after, I started to feel resentful again, and it became even harder for me to bear the pain and frustration.
Still, deep down in my heart, I wanted to cultivate myself well. Master helped me at the critical moment. One day, it suddenly occurred to me that Buddha Milarepa also had to endure hardships. He built houses on four mountains one after another, according to his master’s instructions, but then had to tear down each house and move the stones to another mountain to start building a new one. His back was bruised and bleeding and he was often exhausted. During the years of his tribulation, if Buddha Milarepa had even the slightest thought of resentment to his master, he would not have been able to eliminate his karma and succeed in cultivation. In comparison, the hardship I was enduring was nothing. More importantly, I realized that I was not as firm in my faith in Master and the Fa, or in my will to commit myself to cultivation.
Master told us:
“Cultivate Dafa with all your heart,Nothing could be more important.Become one with Dafa,And Consummation is, in time, certain.”(“Gaining the Fa,” Hongyin)
I didn’t do well in the past because I wasn’t putting cultivation first, and I didn’t have the determination to cultivate to the end, no matter what happened. I now realized that the test was arranged by Master for my cultivation. If I resented the other person, wouldn’t it mean that I resented Master’s arrangement? It’s not that I couldn’t bear it any longer, it’s that I still didn’t have the great forbearance required by the Fa.
As I was thinking about this, the material elements of resentment suddenly disappeared, and my heart was filled with kindness. Thank you, Master! I’m eternally grateful for your compassionate salvation!
Through this incident, I realized that looking inward must be unconditional; no matter what happens, we should not harbor any resentment. No matter what the circumstances, our righteous faith in Master and Dafa should always remain firm andunshakable.
The above is some of my recent understanding of how true improvement can be achieved only through solid cultivation.
Please kindly point out anything inappropriate in my sharing.