(Minghui.org) My mother and I are Falun Dafa practitioners. Six months ago, my mother experienced serious illness karma symptoms. Family members took her to the hospital, where the doctors issued a critical condition notice three times, and even told us to prepare for her funeral. With the help of fellow practitioners, my mother found her problem and published a solemn statement.
After my mother was discharged from the hospital with the suggestion to prepare for her funeral, we returned to our hometown and I took care of her. All fellow practitioners in our hometown came to support us. Under continuous sending forth of righteous thoughts, my mother almost recovered. She still had a small ulcer on her foot that resulted in her temporarily remaining in bed. Everyone was amazed by her recovery.
My mother called me at noon today, and she asked me to come home early. She said a relative of ours had come to visit her. That relative was diagnosed with stomach cancer a few years ago, and almost died not long ago. My mother and I told him to recite the nine auspicious words, “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” My mother told me that he looked spirited now because he took a kind of “magic” medicine, and she asked me to buy that medicine for her, too. My heart reacted to my mother’s remark, and I decided to go home and talk to that relative first.
Criticism of my mother was abundant on my mind on my way home: “Why is it that she always cannot understand the Fa based on the Fa? Why does she often get muddle-headed? We clarify the truth to people to save them, but she turns around and asks for ‘magic’ medicine from an everyday person; isn’t that discrediting Dafa?”
After I got home, I saw the relative, and he indeed looked much better. From what he said, he began to take the medicine at the same time he started reciting the nine auspicious words, which he called “miraculous words.” But he believed it was the “magic medicine” that helped him get better.
After I talked to the relative again and explained Falun Dafa in a better way, and then communicated with my mother, I began to look inward.
I thought of what Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) said:
“Do you realize that as long as you’re a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across—even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are—to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what’s most important.” (“Further Understanding,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I immediately started to look inward, and found my attachments and the things that would create karma. I saw my own attachments, which included feeling impatient and feeling disappointed. I also held a lot of anger and complaints, plus the wish for fame, being afraid of being laughed at by people, and the indoctrination of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture. Another problem I had was to mobilize family members and fellow practitioners to “criticize” my mother. Seemingly, I did all the thinking and communication for my mother, for fellow practitioners, and even for Dafa, but actually these were all attachments I had to let go. Now that I found the attachments, why should I delay in removing them?
Usually, the attachments hidden behind the “right things” are the most easy for me to neglect. Exactly because of these attachments, the “right things” can have bad results. But in this case I tended to neglect my own attachments and kept complaining in my mind, “I am doing things for my mother’s benefit, why doesn’t she understand me?” Yet I knew if I could not let go of these attachments, the old forces would use it to enlarge the loophole, isolate fellow practitioners, and eventually hinder the saving of sentient beings, which is the goal of the old forces.
I also want to take this opportunity to share another cultivation experience of mine. A few years ago, I borrowed money, set up a company, and then started to operate a business. I spent a lot of time and energy on my business, and I studied the Fa less and less. Sometimes I even didn’t study at all, not to mention clarifying the truth to people.
I was busy looking for resources, talking about cooperation, creating a business strategy, and writing business plans every day. However, the result was that I was spending more than I was earning, becoming heavily indebted, and was blacklisted by banks. I failed to pay employees on time, resulting in being repeatedly sued. All of that included being alienated from relatives and friends to whom I owed money, being haunted by debt collectors, and so on. I even thought of suicide. In that case, how could I focus on studying the Fa and saving people? My will to validate the Fa and cultivate became weaker and weaker.
At that time, I knew I shouldn’t be like that, but I didn’t know the reason for all the problems. I just unhappily held onto my problems every day. I was also immersed in depression, sadness, and decadence. Even the effect of my truth-clarification was bad. Wasn’t that what the old forces wanted? They not only want you to give up cultivation, but also want you to be isolated from assisting Master in Fa-rectification, so that many people with predestined relationships will lose their opportunity to be saved.
Eventually, I realized that I should immediately let go of those negative thoughts, no matter what I did in the past. I indeed did some things wrong, such as refusing to repay my debts, and so on, but I still should immediately relinquish those bad postnatal notions and shape up! At that moment, I felt as if I was being freed from a giant stone that weighed several tons on the top of my head.
I’d realized before that if we do correct things, but do not improve our xinxing in the process, it is still not acceptable. And now I further realized that, even if we did wrong things, if we can still reflect on ourselves, can still measure ourselves with Dafa, and maintain a strong willingness to return home with Master, we can still return to the righteous way because Dafa is boundless and Buddha’s grace is immense.
Perhaps our attachments can be exposed only through these actual experiences. Therefore, many things that we encounter in everyday society are valuable opportunities.
I saw that I still had the attachments to zealotry and fame just before I wrote this article. I immediately grasped the attachments and sent forth righteous thoughts to remove them. I began to write after I calmed down and could focus. However, I still found some postnatal notions hindering me, but could not identify what those notions were. I will remove them as soon as I identify them.