(Minghui.org) Master said,
“... there are in fact a lot of other instances of failing to believe in the Fa.” (“What Does It Mean to “Help Master Rectify the Fa”?” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
These words puzzled me for a long time. I felt wronged if someone said I didn’t believe in Master and the Fa. How could I have entered cultivation if I didn’t believe in Master and the Fa?
However, I recently gained a new understanding of what Master said. I saw many of my behaviors showed that I didn’t believe in Master and the Fa. When I cling to personal notions, I did not believe in Dafa. It seemed that I believed in Master and the Fa when it aligned with my notions and didn’t harm my personal interests. I knew this was not genuine cultivation. I was seeking and trying to obtain benefits from Dafa. It was a mindset of gaining something, a strong attachment, and a manifestation of not believing in Master or the Fa.
I recognized my problem and underwent a fundamental transformation in my cultivation. I started to study the Fa more, tried to understand Master’s teachings, and made time to memorize the Fa. I decided to follow the Fa closely and believe in Master and the Fa. As my cultivation improved, my righteous thoughts strengthened. The power of Dafa manifested its wonders and extraordinary effects on me.
My family operates a small business collecting waste paper, and one worker named Tong helps load the trucks. Tong fell and fractured his heel bone. I was frustrated about the accident and the potential financial loss. My hidden attachment to personal gain emerged. After he was discharged from the hospital, we offered him 5,000 yuan as compensation for the time off work, but he demanded 20,000 yuan, which I found unreasonable. A similar incident that happened locally was settled with 5,000 yuan. I felt indignant and held onto my human notions.
I repeatedly read the section “Loss and Gain” in Zhuan Falun, Falun Dafa's main book. I asked myself: “Are you a Dafa disciple? Do you believe in Master and the Fa? Isn’t this situation arranged for your cultivation? Why are you unhappy? Is this unhappiness coming from your true self? Master told us to treat unfavorable situations as favorable ones, so why am I not following that?”
With these reflections, I gradually became clear and developed righteous thoughts. The unhappiness was not my true self. It was my attachment to personal gain and my human notions that made me unhappy. I needed to dig out the underlying attachment to personal gain and eliminate it from its root. As a Dafa disciple, I should do what I was supposed to do—validate the Fa and save people. I calmed down and decided to follow Master’s arrangements.
I approached Tong’s family to discuss the matter in person. I explained that I practice Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and that everything that happens has karmic reasons behind it. I would not complain or hold grudges. My Master taught me about the principle of “No loss, no gain,” so if they had any requests, they should express them directly. I firmly believed that Master was in charge of this matter, and whatever I owed, I would repay it. I would not allow the old forces to intervene.
We soon reached a consensus. What seemed like a difficult problem to others was easily resolved once I let go of my attachment to personal gain. A burden in my heart was lifted, and I experienced the joy of believing in Master and the Fa, and cultivating diligently according to the Fa.
I was arrested in 2009 for distributing Shen Yun DVDs. I had a materials production site in my home, and the police used the equipment as so-called evidence against me. They threatened to sentence me to prison for 7 to 10 years. My family was afraid and urged me to cooperate with them to get a lighter sentence. They also sought help from people in the police system. A deputy director who handled my case said, “It’s useless to talk to us. She [me] won’t write statements to renounce Falun Dafa. She doesn’t cooperate with us at all. Instead, she tries to “transform” us. How can we give her a lighter sentence? You have to persuade her [to cooperate].”
While I was held in the detention center, my sisters, nieces, and other relatives took turns trying to persuade me to work with the police. They told me not to suffer anymore. However, I remained unmoved. They thought I was foolish because I practice Falun Dafa.
I firmly treated myself as Master’s disciple and when my child came to visit me, I told him not to burden our family or waste money because of my situation. I asked them to sincerely recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” and to believe that only Master and Dafa could save me and our family.
A month and a half later, I returned home on bail. My family and relatives found it unbelievable because I did not cooperate with the authorities and that I was back home so soon. They thought I was very lucky. I solemnly told them that it was Dafa and Master who protected me. If I had followed their advice and cooperated with the police, I might have been sentenced and sent to prison. Since then, my cultivation environment at home improved.
I would like to mention a miraculous experience I had when my strong righteous thoughts were strong. On the day I was taken to the police station, I faced their questioning with unwavering determination not to answer them, but to clarify the truth. I kept sending righteous thoughts, and in my mind, I hoped they would not succeed in persecuting Dafa disciples. The interrogators left one by one, and the interrogation could not proceed. They were unable to obtain any confessions from me. Time dragged on, then it was midnight. They handcuffed me to an iron chair, and went to sleep.
By morning, I was extremely tired, sitting on the iron chair. I did not sleep all night. Since the previous afternoon, I had not eaten or drunk anything, and I didn’t feel well. However, I understood that I could not lose my composure in front of them—I am a Dafa practitioner, and couldn’t let Dafa be dishonored. I decided to demonstrate the dignified demeanor of a genuine Dafa practitioner. Once I made up my mind, my body suddenly felt relaxed, and the fatigue disappeared.
I firmly believed that as a Dafa practitioner, only Master can guide me, and no one is qualified to “transform” me. For a month-and-a-half, during my time in the detention center and the hospital, no police tried to force me to give up my belief in Dafa.
One day in the fall of 2020, I was awakened at 2 a.m. with the urge to urinate. However, I couldn’t when I went to the restroom. I felt a bloating sensation in my stomach, and I struggled to breathe. I was in severe pain and felt nauseous. I couldn’t lie down or sit still. The pain was so intense that I was gasping for breath, and my whole body was covered in sweat, soaking my clothes completely. My entire body felt like it had been immersed in water. I kept rolling back and forth on the bed in pain.
My husband couldn’t bear to see me suffer and suggested that he take me to the hospital. I told him not to worry. I would be fine. Throughout the two-hour ordeal, I held onto one thought: “I am a cultivator, and have no illness. Master is purifying my body, which is a good thing.”
About two hours later, the pain and discomfort disappeared completely, and my body returned to normal. It was as if nothing happened. I got up, made breakfast for my family, and went to work in the fields. My husband witnessed everything.
The above is a glimpse of my cultivation journey. Falun Dafa has profound inner meanings.