(Minghui.org) What made me truly begin Falun Dafa cultivation? I'd like to tell you about my experiences after I read Master’s new article, “How Humankind Came To Be.”
When I was young my two aunties and my mother practiced Falun Dafa. I read Zhuan Falun (the main book of Falun Dafa) with them, and watched recordings of Master’s lectures. I also did the exercises at home. I gradually came to understand why a person needs to cultivate, and I learned what “The Sole Measure of Goodness: Zhen, Shan, Ren” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun) meant.
While growing up, influenced by other students, plus my addiction to computer games, I gradually slacked off in cultivation.
In my life on campus at the vocational school and college, since I lived away from my family, I fought with others, cursed, played games, and made friends with indecent people. Never mind that I didn’t treat myself as a practitioner, I felt doing regular course study was a laughable. After I graduated, I entered into society and found a job. I dated my ex-girlfriend, didn’t come home at night, smoked, drank, and had all kinds of bad habits. I set myself on a path of self-destruction by indulging myself.
With the outbreak of the COVID pandemic and less social activities, I gradually indulged in computer games, and couldn’t pull myself out of it. The fighting, violence and all kinds of desires included in the computer games made it difficult for me to tell what was reality versus an illusion. The obsession and desire for the Internet made it hard for me to snap out of it; plus, since my morality deteriorated over the years I slid down even further.
I had rhinitis since childhood, coughing from my long-term smoking, angina, back pain, dry heaves from time to time in the middle of the night, weakness, and night sweats. I easily developed colds and fevers. In addition, I stayed up late at night for hours playing on my computer or cell phone to watch either live Internet broadcasts or videos. Whenever I felt a bit tired, I was short of breath and lacked energy. I went from being a bright and handsome young man who was praised by whoever met me, to someone in a low mood and overweight. In my own eyes I was a “monster.”
After Master published the recent article “How Humankind Came To Be,” my mother brought it to me, saying, “This is Master’s new article. You should read it.” My heart was moved.
When I read what Master said,
“Currently the human world is experiencing the last period in the Destruction phase of the Formation, Stasis, Degeneration, Destruction progression.” (“How Humankind Came To Be”)
I kept asking myself deep down: Is there still hope for me?
A couple of days after I finished reading this article, when I was playing computer games in the middle of the night my nose suddenly bled. The blood poured out, and I could not stop it. I ran to the washroom to pour some cold water over my head. It eventually stopped. I felt very weak and went to bed.
The next morning, when my mother saw the blood-soaked napkins in the garbage bin, she asked me, “What happened?” I replied, “My nose bled.” My mother said anxiously, “Don’t stay up to play games. It’s not good for your health.” I said impatiently, “It’s okay. I won’t die.” I went back to playing the games as usual.
The next morning, before I even got up, my nose began to bleed again. This time the blood poured down! My mother was terrified. She tried to help me and said, “You need to recite, ‘Falun Dafa is wonderful!’ ‘Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is wonderful!’ Recite these words sincerely!” When I pressed down on my nose, the blood flowed into my mouth. I had to spit out a mouthful of blood. I then recited the phrases quietly in my mind. Gradually, the blood slowed, then it stopped.
Then my mother said to me seriously, “You can’t keep staying up to play games! These things are all demons from other dimensions! They’ve seized upon you and don’t want to let you go! They are there to make you feel down. Dafa books are right there on the table; check them out! Instead of playing Internet games read the Fa!”
I thought if I had to stop playing games after I resumed studying the Fa, I wouldn’t enjoy myself. There were all kinds of gadgets that I collected over time; do I have to throw them all out? I later understood that it was demons in other dimensions and the old forces that didn’t want me to come close to Dafa.
I could almost imagine the consequences of my going to the hospital. Right after that thought, I thought about what Master said in the new article. I also knew there wasn’t much time left. If I didn’t return to cultivation, I would likely have no future. Then why was I still attached to the illusions on the internet?! I finally picked up Zhuan Falun which I had ignored for a very long time. Even though I felt sleepy I began to read. My uneasy heart finally felt calm and settled.
The more I read Zhuan Falun, the more I could feel Master’s compassion. The more I read, the more I understood that what I did was wrong. Seeing Master’s benevolent and kind face in his photo in the book, in my heart I shouted: Master, please help me!
I read Zhuan Falun the rest of that day. The next day, I felt much better. But that night, my nose began to bleed heavily again. The bleeding seemed more intense this time. My mother was worried and said, “Let me take you to the hospital!”
Seeing my sallow face in the mirror, with the blood continuously flowing, I was scared. How about going to the hospital? I asked myself: What’s my goal in practicing Dafa? Is it to have my illnesses healed? Is it so after I make it through this tribulation, I can go back to my old life? Or do I truly want to cultivate? Isn’t this a test for me? At the critical moment, can one position oneself right, truly cultivate, let go of humanness, and let go of all of one’s attachments and everything, even life and death?
I silently told Master: "I truly want to practice and cultivate myself. I am determined to get rid of every attachment! Whether it’s internet games, or whatever else I’m attached to, I’ll give them all up. I won’t treat this nosebleed as an illness, but a test and a chance to eliminate karma! I want to be a cultivator!" Then, slowly, my nose stopped bleeding. My nose felt tight inside, like it was a bit clogged. I spit out a bloody mass the size of a small egg. After that, I pulled out a bloody mass of tissue a bit bigger than an egg from inside of my nose.
Now, thinking back, I knew it Master who removed that dirty stuff from me! I also knew that it was a wake-up call.
The next day I deleted all the games from my computer. My mother said later that the blood I lost totaled at least 900ml. If it were not for Master saving me, the consequences would be frightening. Very likely, I’d have been hospitalized. I knew it was Master who removed it for me and bore all the pain for me. Thank you, Master!
From then on, I began to earnestly read the Fa and do the exercises with my mother. I read Zhuan Falun and Master’s new lectures during the day. My two aunts, my mother, and I also set up a Fa-study group. We discuss our cultivation experiences every week so we can improve together.
Since then, I have studied the Fa every day. Through Fa-study, I kept improving myself. From my mindset to my demeanor, I have become a new person. I went from being short-tempered to someone who can maintain a practitioner’s mindset in dealing with any issue. I can usually view things from the standpoint of the Fa. I also try my best to reach an altruistic state when in running into things, using Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to measure myself.
I also remind myself to eliminate bad thoughts and attachments. Master has constantly helped purify my body. My years-long cough, angina, weakness, dry heaves, acid reflux from smoking, and rhinitis since childhood all disappeared. However, my back pain continued on and off. My face became rosy, and my skin glowed. I quickly lost weight and became more energetic.
My mother said to me happily, “Look, when you truly cultivate, Master takes care of you. You seem to be a new person.” I could see that she was very happy, not only because of my physical transformation, but also because I cultivated with a sincere heart. That karma would not just dissipate by itself. It was benevolent Master who endured it for me. Every time I thought about it, I was so grateful that I wept.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, for giving me a new life!
I recall one experience on a cold day in April. I felt pain all over my body, and my hands and feet were very cold. My legs were in so much pain that I had difficulty walking. My mother told me that I was eliminating karma and should just ignore it. I also thought the same. So I grit my teeth, trying not to worry about it.
At night, after I finished sending forth righteous thoughts and was about to do the exercises, I sighed: Oh! It hurts so much, how come it hurts even in the joints of my bones?! Doing the exercises won’t be easy. But, then I thought about how much Master had to endure for me. And, wasn’t the persecution that so many practitioners have suffered much more than what I had to go through? So what’s the big deal about this pain? Wasn’t it for me to eliminate karma?!
I thought I’d better focus on doing the exercises to get over it. As soon as I joined my hands together in front of my lower abdomen, I began to feel heat there; then it went through my body. When I was doing the first posture in the Falun Standing Stance exercise, a warm current came down from head to toe! Then it was followed by a second warm current, third, and then fourth. Altogether, about 9 to 10 warm currents went through my body. Only then did I know that it was Master purifying my body from the top of my head downward. My whole body felt very comfortable. It was as if I was soaking in a spa. After I finished doing all four sets of the standing exercises, I felt great. Thank you, Master!
With continuous Fa-study, Master has constantly purified my body. However, my back pain continued on and off. I ignored it, and treated it as eliminating karma. However, for many days I was in a lot of pain, even to the point of my having trouble standing upright. I figured: This must be because of an omission I have; which attachment is at play?
I began to look inward: Competitive mentality, agitation, zealotry, show-off mentality, jealousy, lust; which one could it be? In the beginning, I didn’t think it’d be lust, as I didn’t have a girlfriend then. How could it be related to lust? Looking within until it was time to go to bed, I couldn’t identify it. I thought: Master! I am so dumb, where did I go wrong?
Then before I closed my eyes and was about to go to sleep I remembered a story from “Buddhist Character Reference Materials,” the younger brother of Shakyamuni enlightened that he was obsessed with the beauty of his wife. I suddenly recalled some things I had on my cell phone. I still had some private photos with my ex-girlfriend. There were also many apps and videos, all of which had elements of lust! Was it because of those? In fact, my ex-girlfriend is a pretty girl. I still liked her, and thought wouldn’t it be a pity if I were to delete them all?
I thought: Didn’t Master use this story to remind me to eliminate my attachments? I still had attachments to fame, self-interest, and sentimentality in the human world and couldn’t snap out of it. Wasn’t it to completely eliminate my lust? Even though I remembered the photos on my phone, I still didn’t want to let it go! I failed to hold onto Truthfulness of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. After I made up my mind, I completely deleted anything related to lust on my cell phone. I stood up to do Heshi to Master’s portrait, to thank Master for giving me this hint. My back didn’t hurt! Thank you, Master!
After reading Master’s latest article “Why the Creator Seeks to Save All Life,” I wept. Master endured so much in exchange for extending the time for us. I must cultivate myself well to catch up with the Fa-rectification process as quickly as possible, and follow Master home!