(Minghui.org) As a new practitioner, I still have many limitations. I sometimes think too much and let emotions interfere with me. For example, when I went around to put up posters to promote Shen Yun, I felt happy when shop owners agreed to let me put up a poster, and was upset when they said no. When other young practitioners and I held movie screenings, I worried how the guest speaker might feel when we changed the plan at the last minute. I was concerned that other practitioners might be offended by my words or actions. These emotions pushed me out of balance. I could see how this interfered with my ability to focus on the tasks I was in charge of.
I realized that my problems were rooted in emotions, or qing, but I didn’t know how to handle them. One day, I did poster duty with an elderly practitioner who barely spoke English. I noticed that the business owners almost always allowed her to put up posters. She kept walking and smiling and barely said anything. At the end of the day, she was the one who put up the most posters. I was amazed, and this phrase from Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) came to my mind:
“...getting things naturally without trying to get them.” (Lecture Given at the Conference in Sydney)
I realized that my emotions were rooted in my intention to succeed, which was another form of my show-off attitude. These emotions had hindered me from accomplishing my duties. It’s like the state we should have when doing the exercises; there should be no mind-intent activities involved. I realized that I should do the same when I do other Dafa-validation duties. When I tried to clear away all of the intention to put up posters, and all the emotions associated with it, my steps were lighter and I was surprised to see some of the shop owners even smile and welcome me to put up posters in their stores.
I also volunteered to sell Shen Yun tickets in the mall. In the beginning, I thought I would do it well because I can usually talk to strangers very easily. However, on the first day at the mall, everyone just passed by without even glancing at the booth. The same thing kept happening for a few weeks. I started to think it was impossible to sell tickets in the mall. When I heard that other practitioners could sell tickets, I told myself it was because I was a new practitioner, so it was understandable. I started to relax and thought I was there just to fill the hours, because no one would stop by anyway. One day, when my mind was wandering and I was thinking about what I should buy for Christmas, someone on the second floor threw a milkshake at the booth and it spilled on our laptop. I realized it was because I was not righteous, and the old forces had taken advantage and caused damage to the booth. I looked inward and found my shortcomings. After that, I reminded myself to maintain righteous thoughts all the time, because Master and countless divine beings were watching what I was doing. I knew I must treat every minute seriously.
Through this process, I learned that selling Shen Yun tickets was not about sales skills but was a reflection of each person’s cultivation state. I noticed people kept passing by the booth the whole morning, but as soon as the other practitioner arrived, people stopped, chatted, and bought tickets. I came to the realization that those people and the countless sentient beings that they represent have connections with the other practitioner and that the practitioner had enough mighty virtue to clear away any interference that would have prevented those sentient beings from buying tickets and being saved.
Learning from this experience, I was determined to get up early every day to study the Fa and do the exercises. Then, more people started stopping by. One time, there was a group of Vietnamese women sitting next to the booth. I approached them and asked them in Vietnamese if they had heard about Shen Yun before. They told me they had always been curious about Shen Yun but didn’t know what Shen Yun truly was. I brought the photo book over to them and talked about the dance, the music, the costumes, and the meaning of Shen Yun, based on my own understanding. They bought four tickets, the first four tickets that I had sold after over a month. I realized that the sentient beings related to me were always there waiting for me to do well so that they could be saved.
I later had a chance to help during the Shen Yun performances. Thanks to this experience, I could see the true beauty of Shen Yun. The moment I stepped into the theater, I could feel that the field was so clean and clear. My mind was so still and focused, a feeling that I had never experienced before. Everyone worked together selflessly, like one body. I saw many audience members cry during the performance and later leave with big smiles on their faces. Seeing this, I was able to reinforce my belief in Shen Yun and was determined to tell more people about the beauty and magnificence of Shen Yun.
After Shen Yun left our city, I came back to the mall and felt completely different. I could feel the whole mall becoming so clean and clear. When I sent forth righteous thoughts, I could feel that the interference was cleared away. I could feel sentient beings coming to buy the tickets. On the first day of 2023, I sold nine tickets in one day. Each sentient being has their own obstacles to overcome to see Shen Yun, and I felt that Master gave me the wisdom and strength to help them clear those obstacles. Later, when I helped at the show in another city, I unintentionally encountered most of the people who bought the tickets from me that day. Seeing this helped me believe in the predestined connection between each practitioner and the sentient beings he or she vowed to save in the past. I learned that if I could improve my cultivation state, the people who have predestined relationships with me would be able to buy tickets and be saved. I am cultivating not only for myself, but also for other sentient beings that I have connections with.
At the beginning of this year, I became serious about forming a Falun Dafa club at my university. Although I had this wish earlier, I used many excuses not to do it, such as, there were not enough practitioners at my school, and ordinary people might misunderstand Dafa and would oppose the formation of the club. Master then helped me to see the true reason I had avoided the process of forming the club: I was attached to comfort and was afraid of paperwork. After an incident at work, I enlightened to the understanding that the fear of paperwork was not only about laziness but also the attitude of egotism, seeing myself as somehow being above the required process. After realizing this attachment, I was determined to do the paperwork and I initiated the club formation.
When I started, I realized Master had already arranged many things to help me, even before I knew it. One of the requirements for club formation was to have at least 12 students agree to be members of the club. Before obtaining the Fa, this would have been the biggest challenge for me. But this year, I decided to move into the dorm and live with other students. In the beginning, I was hesitant to ask people to sign up for the club. However, in my heart, I thought, if the club could truly clarify the truth and save more sentient beings in the future, each person who helped form the club would obtain mighty virtue corresponding to their contribution. So I stopped worrying and started asking people to join the club. Some people agreed right away. Some asked more about Dafa and the persecution. I used this opportunity to clarify the truth to them. Some of them, after understanding the truth, agreed to join the club. Miraculously, I also noticed that the people who were most eager to sign up were people who lived next to my room. I realized that I met and lived near these people not by coincidence, but to form the club.
After getting enough people signed up to be club members, I had to go through two interviews with the school staff. During each round, I reminded myself to maintain righteous thoughts. The first interview was easy. For the second interview, I saw the name of one interviewer and thought that person must be from China. I started to worry that this person would block the formation of the club. However, I also thought this would be a great opportunity to clarify the truth. I prayed to Master to help me have the wisdom to help this person understand the truth about Dafa. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts and when that person appeared, she turned out to be a Westerner. She warned me that the next round would be challenging and helped me prepare for how to answer difficult questions. Through this incident, I learned that I had been restricted by many human notions, and with righteous thoughts, interference could be cleared out. I felt that Master had arranged this for me to reinforce my belief in Dafa.
When the last round approached, I became relaxed and complacent, and I let my cultivation state and righteous thoughts down. In my head, I already thought about how I would celebrate and share the good news with fellow practitioners. On voting day, the staff told me the committee decided to not vote right then but wanted to wait in order to deliberate about the decision. I immediately knew something had changed and there would be severe interference. One member of the student council, who was a student from China, had brought up many accusations and repeated the Chinese Communist Party’s defamation against Dafa. On the outside, I was calm and tried to tell the student and the committee the truth about Dafa. However, deep inside, I started to become defensive and tried to validate myself instead of validating the Fa. After a 20-minute interview, I was dismissed and told to wait for the result. I kept waiting and no one told me the result. I slowly became disappointed and angry.
The committee later required me to send written answers to two extra questions. At first, I felt I was being treated unfairly and I accused the committee of discriminating against the group because of their misunderstandings about Dafa. I thought of how to use other means like legal action or interviews with other newspapers to “retaliate” against them. However, as a practitioner, I was reminded to look inward when facing any obstacles. I realized that the idea of being a victim or the wish to retaliate against the ones who wronged me was the thinking of an ordinary person. Master helped me realize that what I was doing was not for myself. Therefore, I shouldn’t validate myself to show people how capable I am. As a Dafa practitioner, everything I do should be to assist Master in saving sentient beings. Everything I do and every thought I have should come from the heart of wanting to save sentient beings.
The first question the committee asked was what specific needs the club would provide for the students at the school. At first, I thought the committee was trying to use technical reasons to not approve of the club while conveniently avoiding any accusation of discrimination. This thought made me feel angry and frustrated. I started to think about how to retaliate and outsmart them. However, the more I thought, the more I felt hopeless. Then I prayed to Master for guidance on how to answer this question. Suddenly, in my head, another question appeared, “What is your plan to save these sentient beings?” At that moment, the sense of frustration and anger disappeared. I came to the understanding that the true purpose of the club was to save more sentient beings. In my head, there were flashbacks of many incidents I had encountered over the previous eight months to show how important the club would be for students as well as current and future practitioners on campus. I realized that Master had arranged all of those encounters a long time ago to prepare me to handle this question. After enlightening to this, I was able to think of activities and benefits that the club would provide and how it would help students on campus.
The second question was how to make sure the club would be independent and not be used as a form of endorsement by outside organizations. My first reaction was that the committee was full of themselves and treated themselves as higher than Dafa. I thought they were trying to find another excuse to not approve the formation of the club. I was frustrated and thought that if those people were that full of themselves, they did not deserve to be saved. However, while I was working and thinking about how to answer this question, I suddenly felt warm and I could hear Master’s voice. I understood that to save these sentient beings, we should step back as many steps as needed.
I realized that my previous thought was like the thinking of the old forces. The old forces only save the sentient beings that they feel are deserving. They punish and eliminate the sentient beings they think are no longer good. To help Master save sentient beings, I must follow Master’s arrangements. My understanding was that Master would give any sentient being opportunities to be saved, regardless of how many mistakes they had made in the past and how many difficulties they might bring to the process.
After understanding this, I no longer felt it was unfair. I proposed many restrictions on the club and said that I was even open to further restrictions if the committee had any other suggestions. I felt content and patient no matter how much the committee misunderstood me and the formation of the club.
After finishing the first draft, I sent it to a few different practitioners to ask for their opinions. I also sent the draft to the school’s representatives for their suggestions. Each practitioner gave me different ideas and opinions. The young practitioners suggested I be gentle in my approach and not upset the committee. The practitioners with legal expertise suggested I should be firm and use legal language to make the committee understand that they were discriminating against the club. The school representatives suggested I should talk less about Dafa and focus on the activities of the club in the future. I personally preferred to use my experiences to persuade people with emotions. After taking in all of the ideas and suggestions, I felt overwhelmed and disoriented. I did not know what to include in the final answers and my head hurt.
I realized I had again forgotten the true reason for forming the club. The club was an opportunity to clarify the truth and save sentient beings. Therefore, I could not just stop talking about Dafa and focus on the club. To save sentient beings, I needed to treat these sentient beings compassionately, but at the same time, I must remember that what I was doing was righteous and I should not be swayed. Also, the club was not about me or my emotions; the club was to validate Dafa. So I should not rely on my sentiments. My mind was clear again and I was able to finish editing my answers. I sent my response to the committee.
Through this experience, I understood that for everything I would encounter during the cultivation process, there are two ways of perceiving things. When I behave and think like an ordinary person, I am following the arrangements of the old forces. In contrast, when I am aware that I am a Dafa practitioner and judge everything according to my level of the Fa, I am following Master’s arrangements. Depending on which way I follow, there will be corresponding outcomes.
After submitting the final response, I tried my best to not be attached to the outcome of the vote. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts and hoped the sentient beings on my campus would be able to make the right decision to save themselves. Other practitioners also offered to send forth righteous thoughts together. There were moments when I felt that the club would probably be rejected. I recognized that this was interference from the old forces. I reminded myself to not think about it and to maintain my righteous thoughts. I believe that forming the club was to assist Master to save more sentient beings. And if the club could really save more sentient beings, no one could prevent it.
During this time, I remembered Master’s teaching:
“Back in my days of practice, more than once a teacher told me, “Nothing is truly unbearable or impossible.” And it really is so. It’s an outlook you only stand to benefit from. So the next time you are going through a real trial or tribulation, try to keep this in mind, and see if you can bear it. Or when faced with what seems impossible, and even if others say so, try to keep this in mind, and see if it might just be possible. I believe that if you can do that, you will always find that there is light at the end of the tunnel.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
After a week, I got confirmation that the club had been approved. I was full of joy and felt it was truly miraculous. When it was all over, I realized that everything had been arranged by Master. Each practitioner I met, each obstacle I faced, everything was arranged for me to improve my xinxing and to save more sentient beings. I was truly thankful to Master.
When I was full of joy, I remembered the story about the Arhat who fell because he was too happy or too afraid. I realized that feeling joyful was not the righteous way, either, and I must maintain righteous thoughts constantly. Forming the club was just the first step. For each future event, for each sentient being who comes to the club, I need to keep righteous thoughts and the wish to save these sentient beings.
I feel blessed to be able to obtain the Fa and become a Dafa practitioner. The more I practice, the more I understand how precious the opportunity is that Master has given me. I feel that my life has become so much more meaningful. Before I obtained the Fa, time passed by so quickly and I could barely recall any events. However, reflecting on myself while writing this experience sharing paper, I remembered so many meaningful moments, which made me feel like it was not just one year but many years.
I sometimes feel regretful for not being able to obtain the Fa earlier. I look at other young practitioners who obtained the Fa when they were little and felt bad about myself. However, I realized that those feelings were also attachments. As a Dafa disciple, everything I went through was arranged by Master for me to obtain the Fa. Instead of feeling regretful, I should treasure every moment to cultivate and assist Master in saving sentient beings.
I am thankful for Master’s benevolence and salvation! I also want to say thank you to fellow practitioners for your collaboration and encouragement!
(Presented at the 2023 New England Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)