(Minghui.org) I’ve been practicing Falun Dafa for more than 20 years. There have been good times and bad, and I was not always diligent on my path of cultivation. Although I have been studying the Fa and doing the three things every day, I felt I did so in a routine way rather than from my heart. Deep down, I really felt undeserving of Master Li Hongzhi’s salvation. I’m looking inward and summarizing my experiences with the hope that fellow practitioners will not hesitate to correct them.
In the last few years, my cultivation state was lacking, and I often felt fatigued and spiritless. I thought there must be something off in my mindset. I first discovered that I had a strong attachment to comfort and did not want to suffer. I didn’t want to get up early to do the exercises every day. It was really hard to get up at three o’clock in the morning because I felt so sleepy. I asked myself: “Why do I pursue comfort? Why am I so reluctant to suffer a bit? Why is it that other practitioners can persist at getting up early to do the exercises?”
I realized that the problem had to be with me. I found two reasons: One is that my work and life have always been effortless, so I developed a stubborn attachment to ease. I didn’t want to do anything beyond my comfort zone and tried to take shortcuts. Another reason is that there are evil factors in other dimensions that strengthen practitioners’ attachments in order to hinder their cultivation.
Master Li said:
“So I am telling you that suffering is not a bad thing. Humans are the only ones who think that suffering is a bad thing, that a life of suffering is not a happy one. Yet for a cultivator, suffering will not only eliminate karma, but also raise one’s level and lead to Consummation.” (“First Fa Teaching Given in the United States,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Vol. I)
“But in reality, what human society takes to be truths are, from the perspective of the cosmos, inversions of truth; when humans go through hardship and suffer it is so that they may pay off karma and thereby have happiness in the future. A cultivator thus needs to cultivate by correct and upright truths. Going through hardship and suffering is an outstanding opportunity to remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level—it’s an extraordinarily good thing. This is a correct and upright Fa-truth.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)
It turned out that I regarded seeking comfort and avoiding suffering as a good thing, since that is what ordinary people think. If a cultivator limits himself to this level of principles, then he limits himself to the realm of ordinary people. As a Falun Dafa practitioner, my purpose in this life is not to be comfortable. Fulfilling my prehistoric vows is the most important thing! I have obtained the great Dafa of the universe, which is a rarity in all of time, so I should put a lot of hard work into cultivating it. I am determined to work hard to let go of pursuing comfort.
Before practicing Dafa, I just wanted to have fun watching TV, surfing the Internet, playing games, etc. For a cultivator, however, these are corrupt forms of entertainment, and they always affected me after I began to cultivate. I had to constantly overcome these bad habits through cultivation. But I sometimes felt powerless when trying to eliminate these attachments. Only Dafa could guide me to gradually get out of this fog and continue on the road of cultivation.
I often studied this passage of Master’s lecture:
“Question: My cultivation state has had ups and downs. Sometimes I am attached to doing things that I’m fond of, such as spending time on the computer, on video games, or on my mobile phone, and it’s been to the detriment of my cultivation. How can I get better control of myself and stay diligent?
Master: I’d like to give you my take on what people normally refer to as “addiction.” In the medical sciences it’s believed that addiction occurs when the part of the nervous system associated with addictive behaviors is stimulated and develops to a sufficient degree. But that’s not it. What’s happening, then? Over time, that addictive substance accumulates, and forms inside of your body an identical version of you that comes to control you. Because it is composed of strong attachment, and has your appearance, it has an equally strong desire to control you; it was formed out of strong desires, after all.” (Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference)
It turns out that behind these attachments to having fun are hidden, low-level spirit factors from other dimensions. The more you are attached to them, the more they will control you and finally make you unable to extricate yourself. I realized from the Fa that these acquired notions, attachments, and karma form the false self, not the true self. The true self is here to assimilate to the supreme characteristic of the universe: Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I must distinguish between the false self and the true self.
During my cultivation, I’ve been trying my best to eliminate all kinds of human attachments, especially the pursuit of comfort and having fun, which I repeatedly eliminated, but they continued to come back. These attachments kept pulling me down. Recently, I realized that behind all of them is actually a selfish desire. What I really want to get rid of is this stubborn selfishness, the attachment to self.
I wondered how to remove it. From my personal experience, first of all, I used Dafa to change my mindset, make myself truly meld into the Fa, and measure everything against Dafa’s standards. I made sure to study Zhuan Falun well every day, including Master’s other lectures and teachings. Additionally, I adjusted my specific situation and adopted the following methods to urge myself not to slack off in cultivation:
Reciting the Fa
Many fellow practitioners on the Minghui website have shared their experiences of studying the Fa well, and one of the best ways is to memorize and recite the Fa. I usually felt that after studying the Fa, I didn’t understand much of the Fa-principles after I closed the book. I wanted to change this, so I started reciting the Fa. Reciting the Fa allowed me to concentrate on studying the Fa word for word. I started with the simplest way and concentrated on memorizing one paragraph at a time. For the time being, I haven’t pushed myself to memorize entire sections, but I’ve built up confidence in reciting the Fa, so it will not be easy to give up. At present, I have almost finished memorizing the first lecture of Zhuan Falun.
Listening to Podcasts
I downloaded many podcasts from Minghui.org onto an MP3 player. For example, “Exchanges on Fa-rectification Practice,” “Minghui Online Fa Conference in China,” and “Selected Minghui Articles.” I found that this is almost the same as exchanging ideas with fellow practitioners from all over the world. It helped me a lot.
Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts
From the Fa, I know that behind every attachment, there are elements of the old forces that are taking advantage of practitioners’ loopholes and playing a destructive role. My state of slacking off and feeling depressed was also affected by factors of the old forces in other dimensions. So it is extremely important to send forth righteous thoughts to clear out the evil spirits and various types of interference in other dimensions. I make sure not to miss the four regular times to send forth righteous thoughts every day. When sending forth righteous thoughts, I must have a clear mind and believe that the righteous thoughts I send out are powerful.
The Fa-rectification is coming to an end, but I haven’t always been able to cultivate my words and deeds, and I haven’t done the three things with all my strength. I’m worried that I might not live up to Master’s salvation. I compare my Fa study with that of my fellow practitioners and try my best to catch up with the progress of Fa-rectification. Cultivating my xinxing and doing the three things well complement each other, so neither should be perfunctory. I always remind myself: There are no shortcuts in cultivation. One must be diligent, not slack off, and complete the sacred mission of assisting Master in rectifying the Fa and saving sentient beings.