(Minghui.org) As a child I learned the Falun Dafa exercises from my parents, who are both practitioners. Sometimes I studied the Fa with the grownups, but I did not sincerely cultivate my xinxing.
After I grew up, I went to college and found work in other cities. As time passed, I slacked off in my cultivation and doing the exercises became a rare event. However, no matter where I went, I always had a copy of Zhuan Falun with me and listened to recordings from the Minghui website. That was my cultivation state for several years and I did not even know if I was still considered a Falun Dafa practitioner or not.
One day at work, I came down with a persistent fever. I realized this was eliminating sickness karma and not life-threatening. I would just have to endure it. Furthermore, I never took medication again after practicing Falun Dafa with my parents--I would get over it on my own.
A week later, my condition grew worse. My head felt fuzzy so I went to bed after work--I did not even have the strength to eat. By 8 p.m., my teeth were chattering and I struggled to keep myself warm. I closed my eyes to try to sleep. The fever still did not break. At 10 p.m., my body was like a fireball, my flesh and bones were twitching with pain and breathing was difficult.
My vision became blurry. That was when I became scared. The more nervous I got, the faster my heart raced. I could not breathe, gasping for air. No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to get air in and out of my lungs. I heard myself wheezing, as if something covered my nose and mouth. My whole body was numb. The sensation that my heart was about to stop at any minute overwhelmed me. Tears welled up in my eyes. That was the first time in my life that I sensed death was closing in...
All of a sudden I wanted to call my mom but stopped as I was about to dial her number. Mom would be horrified! I lived far from her and it was the middle of the night. There would be nothing she could do for me even if she were able to come!
Then, I remembered Master: “I want to do the exercises!” I repeated this wish in my head over and over again. Getting out of bed with much difficulty, I fell on my knees. Trying hard to breathe, I got myself up but had to squat to rest again. I finished the first set of exercises after several breaks.
The music for the second exercise “Falun Standing Stance” began. I thought, Can I do it? Following Master’s voice in the music, I held up my arms. Too weak to stand straight, my back was hunched to almost 90 degrees and I could not lift my head. My body swayed and shivered for the first 15 minutes. When the time came to perform the “Holding the Wheel Above the Head” movement, I took a deep breath and tried to lift up my arms. Within a minute, a surge of heat flowed from the top of my head all the way down to my feet. Covered in sweat, my fever broke. I took a breath of fresh air and my vision cleared up. All the body aches were gone. Standing up straight, I finished the exercises as tears streamed down my cheeks. By the time I finished, my clothes were drenched in sweat.
I cried when I took a shower, cried as I washed my wet clothes and I did not stop crying until daybreak. Those were thankful tears! Master gave me life and let me know that I am still his disciple. With Master’s encouragement I had the confidence to come back to Falun Dafa cultivation practice. Those were also tears of shame, as I felt guilty for receiving so much compassion and protection from Master.
For a long time, I would shed a few tears from time to time, even when I was walking on the street. This happened because I sensed Master’s presence and felt engulfed by his compassion.
Heshi.