(Minghui.org) I feel that I have poor enlightenment quality. For years, I haven’t had a good understanding of what Master Li said in “Expounding on the Fa” (Essentials For Further Advancement). I recently had some insights that I wanted to share with fellow practitioners.
For years, I’ve lived in an unpleasant and unhealthy environment. No matter what I did, my husband picked on me, and I never met his expectations. He complained even though I treated his parents, brothers, and sisters well. I cooked meals deliciously and he usually ate too much. He then accused me of cooking too much. When I tried to cook less the next day, he complained that there wasn’t enough food. With my human notions, I felt that I was right, and he was wrong. I endured his rude behavior in front of him but wept when he wasn’t around. I thought I was cultivating since I was being tolerant.
Master said,
“For a long period of time the sentient beings in Dafa, especially the disciples, have had a misunderstanding of the Fa at various levels regarding xinxing improvement. Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side. Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage, leaving students in long-term tribulations.” (“Expounding on the Fa,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
After I read this Fa many times, I realized when tribulations came, I attempted to deal with them using a human mindset. As a result, it was as if I was trapped in the tip of a bull’s horn. I felt bitter and exhausted. I cultivated slowly and gave the negative factors an excuse to take advantage of me. I had been trapped in the tribulation of enduring my husband’s complaints for a long time, and my xinxing did not improve.
When I analyzed the situation, didn’t I complain a lot? I was unhappy if anything in life did not meet my expectations. Although I didn’t express it the way my husband did, I had a strong attachment to blaming others. I felt resentful and blamed him for being unreasonable, instead of examining myself to see why this kept happening.
When I identified my problem, I started focusing on improving my xinxing. Whenever my husband complained, I restrained myself and laughed it off. He then commented on the quality of some things I bought. I was waiting for his complaints, but he stopped. I asked him why he stopped complaining. He told me that we were even since some of the things he bought were worse quality than those. Afterwards, I seldom heard him complain.
Master also said,
“After all, a cultivator is not an ordinary human. So why doesn’t the side of you that is your original nature rectify the Fa?” (“Expounding on the Fa,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
It took me a long time to let go of my human notions. If I had used my original nature to rectify the Fa to begin with, I would have improved much faster. When my husband complained, I reminded myself that my original nature doesn’t have the attachment to complaining. If I didn’t complain, then neither would my husband. I should send righteous thoughts to eliminate any interference and cultivate my mindset all the time. Once I enlightened to this, my cultivation improved.
A few days ago, my husband complained how his former classmate, a local government official, didn’t treat him well and how a leader at his workplace delayed his promotion. If this happened in the past, I would have used human notions or cultivation principles to coerce him to change. As a result, the conversation would have escalated, and he would begin to curse others. This time, I knew how to deal with the situation. I remained calm and let go of many of my human attachments such as jealousy, seeking profit, and being judgmental.
He then stopped talking after a minute. When I paid attention to cultivation, Master helped me remove the bad substances in other dimensions.
When my xinxing improved, I had a dream: Crowds of people were gathered in a tall and long hall. I suddenly raised up in the air like a balloon. I was so light that I could touch the ceiling. I wanted to get down, but I couldn’t. It was beautiful and felt so real.
I had some conflicts with other Dafa practitioners during Fa validation projects. We exchanged experiences, looked inward and found our shortcomings. We used our original nature to rectify the Fa and eliminate our human attachments.
Master explained everything to us in “Expounding on the Fa.” However, due to my lack of understanding, I couldn’t apply what he said and cultivate myself. Master did not give up on me, however, and has provided me with so many opportunities to enlighten to the Fa. I am grateful for His compassion!
Please correct me if my understanding is wrong.