(Minghui.org) I have been cultivating Falun Dafa for over 20 years. I was always eager to tell my relatives, friends, and colleagues how Dafa transformed me from a seriously ill person to someone who is healthy and full of energy. I always believed that by talking about my experience, I was validating Dafa.
Recently, I suddenly recognized some subtle elements of validating myself when I talked about how I gained benefits from Dafa. It was a feeling of satisfaction and achievement. By talking about how I benefited from Dafa, I was indirectly telling people how extraordinary I was. Because I was cultivating well, I was rewarded with such benefits. I was content, showing off and feeling good about myself. Was I using Dafa to advance myself?
I asked myself, “If I didn't gain any benefits from Dafa, would I still tell people Dafa is good?”
Looking deeper, I realized it was the selfishness in me that I have not cultivated away completely. Because of that mindset, a cultivator will see everything Dafa has given them as their own ability. Instead of being grateful, one will take things for granted and feel that one deserves Dafa’s benefits. They will develop a strong sense of “ownership” of the things they get from Dafa and it will be difficult to have a heart “for others.”
If we truly understand our relationship with Dafa and Master and know that everything we have—including our jobs, our comfortable lives, and our social status—is given by Master, will we feel miserable when we lose something? Nothing happens by accident, and everything we encounter was arranged by Master for our cultivation.
To be specific, if our achievements or bonus at work were affected by our manager’s poor arrangement, would we complain about our manager? If pedestrians blocked the road when we are driving, would we respond with road rage? Or when we are stuck in sickness karma and can’t make breakthroughs, would we feel frustrated and develop resentment?
I remember reading an article on Minghui.org about a practitioner who first felt happy when she endured sickness karma, seeing it as an opportunity to improve herself. Then she realized that, if eliminating karma made her so miserable, then what Master endured for her must be much worse. She immediately felt infinitely grateful to Master.
From her article, I saw where I fell short. When I was passing a test, I only thought about how much I had to endure, how miserable I was, or how much I lost. I didn’t think about why these things happened to me, what was behind Master’s arrangement, and what unimaginable things he has borne for me—the “benefits” from Dafa cultivation that I don’t get to see with my naked eyes.
Master related in Zhuan Falun thatwhen people were fighting over a house allotted to a cultivator, the cultivator simply replied, “Then you can go ahead and take it.”
It may seem to be an easy answer, but it shows the realm of that cultivator. He wasn’t trying to intentionally give something up. He had already reached a high level in cultivation, so it was a natural response for him not to take the house. He wouldn’t feel he was nobler than anyone else or expect others to show him gratitude.
Selfishness is the trait of beings from the old universe. As a Dafa disciple, we must assimilate to Dafa, completely let go of this attachment, and be a true, altruistic being.
This is my understanding at my level. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Editor's note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare in studying, compare in cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)