(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa with my parents in 1996 when I was a child. I’m now a middle-aged woman.
Once in a dream, I found myself flying just above a long granite road. I felt pain in my heart of having fallen into the ordinary world, getting lost, and not knowing the way back. I felt helpless!
Right before the COVID-19 pandemic, my family left China and came abroad upon the insistence of my husband (a non-practitioner). Initially, I wondered whether it was the correct thing to do. I now understand this was Master Li’s (Falun Dafa’s founder) arrangement for me.
A fellow practitioner recently told me, “You are calmer now. When you first came here, you were so eager to express yourself, that you couldn’t hold your thoughts back. You still should look deeper within; otherwise, when you encounter big tests later, you will have difficulty passing them.”
I thought a moment and replied, “My fundamental problem is my attachment to my job.”
The practitioner asked, “Why does having a job or not make you so restless?” Her question left me stumped.
Before I left China, my career was on the rise. When I came abroad, everything came to an abrupt end, and I had to start over from scratch. I thought, when I left China, I had given up everything, but apparently not.
Master taught us:
“Attachments of all sorts prevent people who live in this world from having a calm mind. And that’s especially true in today’s Chinese society. There the wicked CCP has—in order to corrupt Chinese people’s thinking, civility, and morals—always been, by way of subtle influence, carrying things out systematically, in an extremely systematic way. Take a look at the people throughout China—such a massive group of people—and you’ll find that practically everyone’s head is occupied with thoughts of getting rich, getting rich quick. The evil Party wants people to focus their minds on this and pay no heed to the things the Party does. With their ever-restless minds, Chinese people can’t find peace for even a moment. All Chinese people are like that now. Is that normal? As you know, in the Western world, or in normal countries, people are able to make a living and have a normal job. That’s just part of life. People lead normal lives and find enjoyment in what life serves up. That’s how people are throughout the world, unlike what the Chinese people have been turned into by the wicked Party. A person’s financial situation is the result of karma from his previous lives; if you are not supposed to have something, you won’t have it.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Western U.S. Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XII)
Indeed, I had an unsettled mind when I first came abroad. The cost of living was higher. But the bigger issue was that I had a sense of accomplishment in my work back home; everyone respected me, and I was always eager to prove myself. Moreover, I had been influenced by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture that says “Women support half of the sky.” I thought if I was successful, my husband would not dare to offend me. I had a strong fighting mentality and a competitive spirit. When everything changed, my insecurity and a feeling of inferiority arose. I had so many attachments that were derived from the CCP culture and its atheistic ideas!
I thought about a Dafa practitioner’s mission. We came to the human world in order to aid Master in Fa-rectification. The environment of ordinary society only serves as an environment for our cultivation. Master arranged for me to change my mindset; wasn’t it to face these human attachments and get rid of them? Why am I still so attached to human things?! Am I an ordinary person, or a cultivator on the path to godhood?
I understood what I should do: I began studying the Fa solidly and made up for when I didn’t have time to study. I actively participated in Dafa projects and validated the goodness of the Fa. I truly wanted to become a particle of Dafa. In order to integrate into the new environment and validate the Fa, I also started a part-time, ordinary people’s job so I would gain a better understanding of Western culture, which would help me do a better job of validating the Fa.
My mother-in-law (a fellow practitioner) has lived with my husband and me for 13 years. When we were busy with moving abroad, she went to live with my brother-in-law (a non-practitioner). Six months later, I noticed she was not normal during our video chat. So my husband and I immediately got her out of China and brought her to live with us.
My mother-in-law and I studied the Fa and did the exercises together. Her state soon improved. She told me that the bad things she was experiencing were frightening. So we sent righteous thoughts to clean them out, but they kept coming and sometimes even pretended to be Master’s Fashen (law body). My mother-in-law was sometimes normal and sometimes confused. At first, I was confident we would correct the situation, as Master said, “ ... a little finger will be more than enough to crush it.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
But when my mother-in-law’s problem continued, I started to doubt myself. I thought, am I just an “average cultivator?” If my mother-in-law kept going like this, would it affect my cultivation? In my selfishness, I often blamed her under the excuse of “helping” her to look inward.
When I looked inward, I found I did not firmly believe in Master and Dafa. Master said, “I said that just by remaining unmoved you could handle all situations.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2005 Canada Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Vol. V)
I realized I should firmly believe that evil cannot suppress good; and when my mother-in-law’s condition gets better, I should not have zealotry or the mentality of validating myself. When she is upset, I should not blame her or try to “teach” her; instead, I should be compassionate and understanding.
When I had compassion, the situation changed. One day, my mother-in-law told me, in tears, that for a long time, she knew she had been adding and omitting words when reading the Fa, that some of her exercise movements were not correct, and that she did not treasure the environment where we can study the Fa and share with fellow practitioners.
I was happy she realized her problems. I encouraged her and reminded her to pay attention to not being attached to showing off certain things that happened in the early stage of her practice. She nodded.
Afterward, her condition significantly improved. Although she occasionally had issues, her bad times were reducing. She even said she should cultivate her mind.
During the time when I was helping my mother-in-law, I improved myself as well.
I called my mother (also a fellow practitioner), who was experiencing sickness karma. Surprisingly, this time I found myself much calmer. I was not so eager to express my opinions, and I was able to listen to what she wanted to say. I shared with her, very calmly, what I recently enlightened to. When I shared Master’s Fa related to her situation, she agreed with me right away. This interaction would have been impossible in the past!
My mother has also improved a lot recently, from passively accepting her condition, to gradually understanding the truth and taking the initiative to make changes. Indeed, a tiny change in my heart changed my cultivation environment, and I witnessed the power of Dafa and Master’s boundless compassion.
Under Master’s arrangement, a fellow practitioner asked me to join a project related to my major. I was really happy. During my participation in this Dafa project, I came to realize the importance of cooperation.
In a project meeting, I was shocked by a response I gave. When the project leader proposed a task, I said, “How could it be done in such a short time?!” Afterward, I deeply regretted what I said. Looking inward, I found I believed I had a strong professional background and even won some awards. Now, not only had I moved from a top role to a secondary role, but I also had to do the most basic, behind-the-scenes work. My heart was upset. I might have looked modest on the surface, but what was hidden inside included self-righteousness, showing off, vanity, and jealousy, as well as self-protection. Master has mentioned all of these attachments in his teachings.
Fortunately, my fellow practitioners didn’t mind my attitude. Their tolerance and compassion touched my heart. I thought, “What am I trying to do here? Didn’t I come to assist Master in rectifying the Fa? I shall take this opportunity to eliminate my human attachments one by one, validate the Fa well, and become a particle of Dafa.
As I continued to work on the project, I reminded myself to be humble. I did my best to complete the work assigned to me and tried my best to cooperate with others and help out within my ability. I also took on some additional work that was proposed during project meetings. Based on my prior attitude, some fellow practitioners now offered to help. In fact, I felt I was completely separated from the arrogant and proud person I used to be. The improvement in my cultivation state was also reflected in my daily family life. When I got criticized by family members, I was no longer tempted and stayed very calm.
Moving abroad was a major change in my cultivation environment. My husband used to complain that I was “self-righteous” and “condescending.” Now my “false self” is fading, and my “true self” is emerging!
After my husband witnessed the wonder of Dafa and the greatness of overseas disciples, he is now starting to practice Dafa. Our two children also have a good cultivation environment. I will work harder in the future to catch up on my cultivation journey.