(Minghui.org) I’ve been practicing Falun Dafa for over ten years and I shouldn’t have made mistakes, such as “killing lives.” I have let down Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder). Therefore, I’d like to share my experience as a warning for other practitioners.

My two granddaughters wanted to eat prawns during the Dragon Boat Festival. My son-in-law bought some prawns and left them in the kitchen.

The prawns were still alive, so I put them in the refrigerator. My granddaughters were hungry and kept asking for food. I took the prawns out of the refrigerator, and some of them were moving. I didn’t think much of it and cooked them. My granddaughters were happy that lunch was finally served.

My back began to feel uncomfortable that afternoon. The pain got worse the next day, but I could still tolerate it. I had to clench my teeth and endure the pain on the third day, and didn’t want to tell my daughter. It became difficult to take my granddaughters to school on the fourth day, while my daughter was at work.

I looked inward to search for my problem, and asked Master for help. When I took the girls to school in the afternoon, my back was bent over and I could barely walk. I stood there and watched the girls walk to school. I noticed something, and thought, “Why am I walking like a prawn?”

My daughter practices traditional Chinese medicine. When she came home and saw my posture, she wanted to treat me with acupuncture. I said I was fine, but she insisted. I didn’t think it would work anyway, so I let her do it. I did feel a little better a few days later, but when the left side stopped hurting, the right side started to hurt; and when the right side stopped hurting, my buttocks began to hurt.

I had a light bulb moment, and said to my daughter, “Don’t worry about me. I found the cause of my problem.” My daughter disagreed, and believed that my kidney stones had returned. My family made an appointment for me to have a checkup at the hospital. I said I wasn’t sick, and was going through karma elimination. I figured that since I knew the hospital staff and my family were trying to be helpful, I should just go, and ask Master for help.

The results came back normal. After looking inward these past few days, I remembered that I had killed the prawns and didn’t even think twice about it!

Master said,

“Killing can bring about enormous karma. One may wonder, “We can’t kill a life, but I’m the cook at home. What will my family eat if I can’t take a life?” This specific issue does not concern me, as I am teaching the Fa to practitioners instead of casually telling everyday people how to live their lives. In terms of dealing with specific issues, you should judge things based on Dafa. You can do things however you think they should be done. Everyday people will do whatever they want to, and that is their business; it is not possible for everyone to truly cultivate. As a practitioner, however, one should follow a higher standard, so I am putting forward the requirements for practitioners here.” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun)

Why couldn’t I remember Master’s teachings on killing? Now I recall everything that happened.

My granddaughters wanted to eat prawns so I fulfilled their wish. I did it because I hadn’t let go of my love for them. I didn’t regard myself as a practitioner at the time, but as a cook.

I knew the prawns were alive, but I let that thought go. I knew that I shouldn’t kill them, but I did. I put the prawns in the refrigerator. I think I was being deceitful—if they died in the fridge then it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t want to bear the karma of killing lives, and wanted to get around the Fa principles.

The pain I felt was not much, because the real karma was borne by Master. Thank you Master for your compassion!

This article was written with the help of another practitioner, and I hope it will serve as a warning to all practitioners.

Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!