(Minghui.org) As the Fa-rectification progresses, there is less time left for Dafa practitioners to cultivate and awaken people. I haven’t slacked off and have been diligently doing the three things.
However, I recently felt that I had slowed down in improving my character to the point that I was stagnating, and I wasn’t able to eliminate my attachments. Sometimes, I even felt inferior and sad. I searched inward and found attachments to self-interest and emotion, but I couldn’t figure out the core of the attachments. Sending righteous thoughts didn’t help much either.
I listened to several sharing articles about eliminating selfishness and discovered that many of my thoughts and actions stemmed from my ego and the attachment to self. I realized I was cultivating in a superficial manner.
I own an old apartment and rented it out last year to several young guys working at a restaurant. The restaurant owner assured me that if they messed up or damaged the place, he would handle it.
Not long ago, the occupant of the downstairs apartment told me that her kitchen ceiling was leaking, and she suspected that a pipe in my unit must be broken. I had a plumber check the kitchen but he couldn’t find any problem. He tore open the ceiling downstairs and determined there wasn’t an issue with the pipes. When he returned to my unit, he found water all over the kitchen floor and it was seeping into the neighbor’s ceiling.
I told my tenants, “You had water all over the floor that leaked into the unit downstairs. I won’t tell your boss about this since it is the first such occurrence, and I won’t charge you for the repairs. However, I will speak with your boss if this happens again.”
The neighbor called two weeks later, “There’s water coming from the ceiling again.” I was furious and thought, “These young people have no class. I forgave them once and now they are causing the same problem again.”
I called their boss but no one answered. I became even more upset and thought, “Why isn’t he answering my call? I’m going to the restaurant and talk with him. I shouldn’t have rented the place to those young men.”
I then thought, “I’m a practitioner, yet I’m getting so worked up. I must not be cultivating well.” Although I tried to control myself and didn’t go to see the restaurant owner, my anger kept flaring up from time to time. My thoughts went back and forth between good and bad.
It wasn’t until I listened to a practitioner’s sharing on selfishness that I realized I had been trapped in the selfishness of the old universe, unable to break through and break free. I was suffering so much that I couldn’t assimilate to Dafa.
I looked inside and found several things. I didn’t put others first and I only thought about my own interests and feelings. I had called the restaurant owner at noon, the busiest time. I didn’t think of his situation and only cared about how I was feeling. I thought my tenants had no class because they caused trouble for me. I didn’t take into consideration that restaurant work is hard, and they are still young and were just having fun. I also wasn’t considerate of the person living downstairs. Although my tone of voice was nice when she called, I was annoyed that she called and didn’t deal with the problem herself. How could I feel annoyed at her when it was my tenants that caused the problem? All of my thoughts were selfish.
Instead of eliminating my attachments, I wanted others to change to conform to my needs. That is the old forces' way of doing things. It was awful that my cultivation had been at a standstill for so long.
I decided to get rid of my selfishness, rectify myself based on the Fa principles, and deal with the problem with righteous thoughts. My outlook brightened after finding a solution to my problem. After recognizing my selfishness, I realized that many trivial issues contained elements of selfishness.
A few nights ago, practitioners came by to study the Fa. Lin (alias) brought a package of Dafa informational materials and wanted to distribute them with me in the morning. Before leaving, Bing (alias) asked if she could take some materials. Lin said, “We don’t have a lot of materials, so please don’t take too much.”
I thought, “Lin didn’t bring that many materials today, and I plan to distribute more tomorrow on a certain street. If I don’t have enough for that street, I will have to go back there later.” I didn’t want to be inconvenienced and didn’t feel like doing more than I had to.
Why did I have this selfish thought? Dafa materials are for all practitioners to use, for the purpose of awakening people. How could I bring my selfishness into this sacred mission? Would that affect my efforts to awaken people? Thus, I sent righteous thoughts to dissolve my selfishness.
I ran out of purified water at home a few times, so I had my son fetch water after he came home from a ball game. He was sweaty but I still wanted him to get the water. I realized I was being selfish. My son is not a lazy person and I wanted him to be more disciplined. I had those thoughts as an excuse for not getting the water myself. It was hot outside and I didn’t want to do it. I had to make breakfast and wanted to listen to practitioners’ sharing on a Minghui.org podcast. It was all about “me.”
There are no minor issues in cultivation. Although he is my son, he is also a sentient being. I don’t want to pamper him, but I should also be considerate of him and do more myself. So one morning, while wearing earphones and listening to practitioners’ sharing, I fetched the water. Not coincidentally, the sharing was about eliminating selfishness. I felt the sun emerge from the clouds, and my heart was peaceful and calm.