(Minghui.org) A while back, a hard lump grew between the inside corner of my eye and my nose. It was the size of a peanut. At first I didn’t pay much attention to it and thought the lump would go away by doing the Falun Dafa exercises. But the lump grew bigger and bigger until it was the size of a grape. The lump pressed against my face and made it hard for me to blink.
My children wanted me to see a doctor. When people I know saw the growth on my face, it disturbed them and they asked me what it was. I told them that I was fine but deep down I felt uneasy. I increased the time I spent doing the exercises, but there was no change in the lump. I thought to myself that I should let it go, follow Master’s plan, and continue to do the three things.
But due to the location of the lump, people tended to stare at it when they spoke to me, which made it difficult for me to be calm. As a cultivator, I don’t get sick and the lump was a way to help me get rid of my attachments. I began to look within to see what problem there was in my cultivation.
The first thing was that my husband had a mistress and that hurt me. I have been very loyal to the family and to him, and yet, he cheated on me with a mistress. I hated him and felt wronged and hurt. As a cultivator, I knew those were attachments that I needed to get rid of, but I couldn’t suppress my jealousy and resentment. I was always suspicious and would check my husband’s wallet and car to see if there were signs of the other woman. He felt that I was interrogating him when he came home and he got very angry at me.
To keep our arguments from escalating, I tolerated him on the surface, but deep down I was furious and full of negativity. Looking back at it now, I realize that I was only cultivating on the surface and not looking within. The root of the problem was that I had not changed my mindset. When we change our mindset and look at an issue using the Fa principles instead of human emotions, any problem can be solved instantly.
A fellow practitioner pointed out a second issue—I was very selfish and cold toward others. They said that I was only concerned about my own things and not concerned about other people.
Then, my daughter informed me that my husband had bought most of the household items but I hadn’t made any comments, good or bad, about them. She told me that I lived in my own world and did not care about other people’s feelings.
After listening to the criticism from the fellow practitioner and my daughter, I looked within to find the root problem. I saw that, on the surface, I was doing the three things, but deep down, I was scared that my routines and lifestyle would be interrupted, and I hadn’t let go of my deepest attachments.
Master said,
“If you’re studying Dafa just for those things, you will gain nothing. Why? It’s not that we don’t have compassion for people. It’s because what I look after are students and their cultivation, whereas people ultimately have to pay off the karma that they’ve created.” (Teachings at the Conference in the Eastern U.S.)
On the surface, I appeared to be very diligent, but deep down, I wanted to benefit and gain worldly things. I had gone astray and to extremes. I wanted to change myself and so I had to put down my attachment to gaining worldly benefits from Dafa.
When I changed my mentality and stopped hoping for worldly gains while doing the three things, I felt I had more compassion for others and more energy when I did the exercises. As I kept realigning myself with the Fa principles and increased the amount of time I did the third exercise, I felt stronger energy, and my mind and body became clearer and stronger. Finally, I could distinguish the “real” me and the entity within my dimension that had been controlling me and making me selfish and go to extremes.
I realized that going to extremes, having a controlling personality, and the desire to gain something from Dafa were from the Chinese Communist Party culture and not the “true” me. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the entity causing me to behave in extreme ways and have Party culture thoughts. I was able to quickly see the selfish thoughts when they appeared that made me feel jealous, angry, and upset. I was able to suppress these extreme thoughts and I didn’t retaliate when faced with conflicts.
Throughout the process of eliminating these human attachments, I saw the entity working, so I tried to talk to it, using Master’s lecture about benevolent solutions. However, the entity wouldn’t listen because I had not let go of the attachment. I asked for Master’s assistance and Master’s Fa came to my mind.
“Countless are the chaotic thingsin this human worldGratitude and resentmentnow heaped atop one another,No hope had the wicked of heart,their karma massive‘Tis Dafa that resolves everything at the source”(“Undoing the Disaster,” Hong Yin II)
I suddenly enlightened to the fact that Master helped me pay off all my karmic debts, and let go of the attachments to fame, worldly gain, and human emotions by utilizing my predestined relationships and karmic debts throughout the history of my primordial being. This thought and realization moved me to tears. I felt profound gratitude for Master, and I let go of my hatred for my husband and his mistress. Sympathy replaced the feeling of hatred. Everything that happened to me was a karmic result of things that happened in our previous lives.
The moment that I gave up my hatred for my husband, the entity disappeared. I felt very calm when I did the exercises, studied the Fa, and sent righteous thoughts. I felt that my main consciousness was in control of my mind and body. All the bad thoughts, thought karma, human notions, and external interference were eliminated by my strong righteous thoughts. This had never happened before.
Under Master’s protection and by looking within and eliminating my attachments, the lump near the corner of my eye changed. It began to fill with pus, burst, and then disappeared.
The above are my recent cultivation experiences that I wanted to share with fellow practitioners. If there are any mistakes, please kindly point them out.