(Minghui.org) I originally took up cultivation in Falun Dafa to cure my illness. This was an attachment that I failed to realize, despite having studied the Fa teachings for a long time. Naturally, my illness was not cured due to my pursuit. I kept asking myself, “Why does my illness linger, while others are cured?”
Guided by Master Li’s teachings, I made my way along the cultivation path arranged by Master. Here, I would like to share some attachments I discovered after looking inward.
When I first started cultivating Falun Dafa, a fellow practitioner quoted Master’s teachings,
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
I did not understand what it meant to look within nor why this was considered a magical tool, despite mulling over it many times; this was because I was using an ordinary person’s mindset to understand the Fa.
One day while at our group practice site, my jealousy towards a fellow practitioner flared up. I realized that I had harbored this feeling for quite some time. While practicing the sitting meditation, I was unable to achieve tranquility and jealous thoughts continued to emerge in my mind. I wondered, “Why am I upset at and jealous of my fellow practitioner?” This practitioner was better than me in everything, having practiced the exercises and studied the Fa diligently. Moreover, the person had a better understanding of the Fa than me. I was jealous because he was better than me in every aspect.
Having reached that conclusion, I silently criticized myself for being selfish. At this juncture, that quote from Master flashed in my mind.
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
All unpleasant thoughts about that fellow practitioner instantly vanished, and I came to my senses. So, this was what it meant to look inwards, a magical tool to find my own shortcomings! I was overcome with joy.
Thereafter, I kept wondering if I really mastered the ability to look inside. My initial experience had been very superficial. Later I found that when encountering a problem, besides an initial surface realization of the issue, one should continue to examine deeper in order to relinquish attachments from their source.
I have come to realize that when encountering a problem, the first thing I should do is treat myself as a cultivator.
One day, I returned home late, just as my wife finished cooking dinner. When she saw me, she said, “You don’t help at home and stay out all day. I have to rush and cook after getting off from work!” Usually, even if I were in the wrong, I would not tolerate any outbursts from my wife. As a wife, I thought that she had no right to bully her husband. I wanted to reprimand her, “I’m your husband, you aren’t allowed to raise your voice at me.” At this point, I suddenly remembered that I am a cultivator and should practice forbearance. I should not hold myself to the standard of an ordinary person. The anger in my heart instantly faded. At this moment I realized, “Ah, I remembered! I did it!”
I now think from the perspective of a cultivator when faced with conflicts. Although all my issues were peacefully resolved, my cultivation path was not always easy. I keep reminding myself to look inwards in everything I do. Master mentioned,
“I believe that the world will be a better place if we can each work on ourselves and look at our character, or thoughts, to identify the source of any problems we experience, and then make a point of doing better next time and try to always be thoughtful towards others.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
As soon as I started cultivating in earnest, Master arranged my cultivation path. Everything I encountered was a good thing, which helped to improve my level.
One morning, I got up and planned to drive to the practice site. However, I was unable to find my car keys despite searching for a long time. Plagued with anxiety, I hastily took another set of keys and proceeded to the practice site. However, my mind kept obsessing over this issue. I wondered if my wife had taken and misplaced my keys. This thought threw my mind into even greater turmoil. Although I was practicing the sitting meditation, my mind was unable to calm down at all.
When I got back home, I continued searching for the missing keys in distress until a thought surfaced in my mind, “Why not look inward?” I began to examine myself and realized one thing: I get impatient whenever I encounter mundane problems. I needed to address this gap and cultivate forbearance. After I had that thought, the missing set of keys immediately appeared before my eyes, as though they were waiting for me to come to this understanding. I pressed my hands together and tearfully thanked Master.
After reading an experience sharing article about sending forth righteous thoughts and purifying one’s mind on the Minghui website, I realized I had to take this next step in order to improve my level. Since then, I’ve put more effort into cleansing my mind. Normally, I would spend the first five minutes of sending forth righteous thoughts calming and clearing my mind. Once I spent 15 minutes clearing my mind. On another occasion, with a specific objective to achieve, I spent 30 minutes clearing my mind. The righteous thoughts sent afterwards were extremely powerful.
Once while sending forth righteous thoughts, my consciousness suddenly expanded, and my mind reached a very calm state. My body felt large, radiating forth strong energy. That righteous energy field covered the entire sky, shrouding the expanse in a red field. Even the evil spirits lurking above this field were annihilated. I was stunned to see this scene, and silently thanked Master. To clear one’s mind is also a form of eliminating one’s attachments.
Looking inwards, letting go of attachments and improving in levels. Dafa’s miracles continue to bolster my faith in cultivation, and I am determined to assist Master on the path of Fa-rectification.