(Minghui.org) After endless cycles of reincarnation and, perhaps, billions of years of waiting, I finally became a Falun Dafa practitioner in August 1995. There have been many ups and downs during the past 26 years. But under the care and protection of Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa), I have made it all the way to today.
In 2005, I realized that it would be much better if I could make Dafa materials for clarifying the truth, instead of always relying on others. I soon learned to print the online materials and set up a family-based truth-clarification materials production site. I was able to provide materials to other practitioners in my area as well.
At the time, my computer system was installed by another practitioner, and I only knew how to perform simple tasks on it. After a year, the software expired, and I wasn’t able to get help since there were very few practitioners with technical skills. I thought to myself, “If I could learn how to do it, not only will it be convenient for me, but I would also be able to help others.” Perhaps this was a prehistoric vow I had once made.
With Master’s help, I met a technical practitioner by a seeming coincidence. He taught me how to install computer operating systems, how to establish contact with the Minghui website, and how to get help from the Tiandixing Forum with technical questions. It was as if I had found my rightful place; I was no longer confused by the issues that had always troubled me.
Minghui suggested that we should have Dafa materials production sites blossoming everywhere. Another practitioner with computer skills and I encouraged the practitioners around us to get computers and printers if they could afford them. At the beginning, some of the older practitioners were hesitant because they were computer illiterate. So we assured everyone that we would provide all the necessary training and support.
Through Fa-study and sharing, our local group quickly reached a consensus that we would only set up more sites only when the practitioners who would run the site had the courage to accept the responsibility to not always rely on others. We helped one another, and many materials production sites were established. Even senior practitioners learned how to get on the Internet.
In order to encourage reluctant practitioners to get on board, I stopped providing them with materials, which was a bit harsh and overwhelming for them. But later on, these practitioners expressed their understanding, and said that it turned into a good thing in the end.
For more than a decade, each of us had a single-line contact point with Minghui. We got whatever we needed by ourselves. We could see Master’s new lectures as they were published. When it came to major issues, we could always pay attention to the direction of Minghui and keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification. This also reduced the centralized purchase of goods and transfer of materials, which greatly improved the overall safety of practitioners in our area.
Looking back on this historic period of cultivation, we had made it through as a one-body. I really felt it was just like as Master said, a “great way without form” (Teachings at the First Conference in North America).
Computer system security and maintenance is essential for practitioners in China. I took on the responsibility to install, maintain operating systems, and teach fellow practitioners how to get online securely.
I was unskilled when I first started. Although the technical practitioners made ready-to-use tool disks, there were still some English words I could not understand. I was always alone when I went to practitioners’ homes to install or repair their computers, so there was no one to discuss any difficult issues with. Facing various brands and models of laptops and self-assembled computers, I sometimes couldn’t enter the boot system, and the installations disk failed, so I didn’t know where to start. I often felt anxious.
Whenever it seemed that there was no hope, I would ask Master to guide me. I knew he was always by my side. Indeed, each time, I was able to quickly make a breakthrough and figure things out. For more than a decade, I was able to pretty much resolve all the problems that I encountered.
It would usually take an hour or two to install a system if everything went smoothly. Sometimes, when I encountered a lower-end computer or some unforeseen problems, it would take me longer, so the practitioners were all very kind and would treat me to nice meals. After a while, I felt that this wasn’t quite right.
I realized that, although I was helping fellow practitioners on the surface, what I was doing wasn’t an ordinary matter, but rather something very sacred.
Master said, “The next person’s things are your things, and your things are his things.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2002 Conference in Washington, D.C.” Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Volume II)
This role was a responsibility of mine. How could I be like an ordinary person, getting treated with a meal because I provided some help? Since then, in order to avoid mealtimes, I would try to arrive earlier or later. Sometimes, a practitioner that I was helping lived far away, and it would take two hours just to get there. So in order to avoid not finishing during lunchtime, I would grab some food nearby after getting off the bus.
One time, it was the coldest day of the year in the northern city where I lived. I set out to a practitioner’s home and waited at a bus station for nearly half an hour. There were hardly any people on the usually busy street. I didn’t wear a lot that day; my feet were freezing, and my teeth were chattering. I thought to myself, “I better not catch a cold!” Then I realized, “No, isn’t this a human notion? Do divine beings catch colds?”
I then thought of Master. In order to save us, he has suffered countless hardships. My eyes filled with tears and, instantly, I no longer felt cold. After finishing the work, the practitioner invited me to eat, but I politely declined. Their spouse was very touched and said, “Only Dafa practitioners are able to do this. We ordinary people wouldn’t ever be able to behave like this!”
I've realized that all practitioners have their own merits. Over the years, I have encountered practitioners in various cultivation states. Among them, there were those who studied the Fa well and who were very solid in their cultivation. Meeting them was very encouraging and helpful to my own cultivation. But there were also times I encountered frictions that tested my xinxing. Sometimes, these situations were even very difficult. But I knew, every time, that it was a process of getting through a tribulation so I could improve.
In 2020, a coordinator in my area said that she was going to a computer store the next morning to buy a laptop for another practitioner. We scheduled an appointment in the afternoon for me to come help her set it up. It rained the whole day, but I thought I should still go since we’d made the arrangement.
When I got to her home, I rang the doorbell many times, but no one answered. I thought maybe the road wasn’t good, and she was still on her way back. So I went to check her parking spot, and saw that her car was there. But why wouldn’t she open the door? So I decided to go to her mother’s home.
There was a lot of water on the ground, and I couldn’t see the bumps. After just a few steps, I slipped and fell into a puddle of water. Although I was close to 70 years old, I was not hurt at all. I got up, but felt very uneasy inside.
I knew she was home. I thought to myself, “She probably didn’t go buy the laptop because of the rain; then she saw me coming and felt embarrassed and didn’t open the door. She pretended as if no one was home, which would enable her to make excuses later on. This Chinese Communist Party (CCP) indoctrination has made people too shifty! If she didn’t buy the computer, it’s no big deal; I can understand it. But just open the door and say so. Why does she care about saving face so much!” But then I thought, I shouldn’t think about practitioners this way; maybe she just had something else come up. So I went home and checked my email, but I didn’t see a message from her.
I kept thinking about it, so I logged into my mailbox again and saw her message. As expected, she said, “I didn’t go buy it in the morning because it rained. I went in the afternoon. What time can you come tomorrow?” I told myself to not complain, but I still felt very unsettled, so I wrote back, “I don’t have time tomorrow. Let’s wait until we meet on Friday at Fa study.” I thought, “You think I’ll just go whenever you tell me to? Do I belong to you?”
When I studied the Fa that evening, I read the following passage,
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself. A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy. An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.” (Realms, Essentials for Further Advancement)
I saw that my realm was still not very high. After cultivating for so many years, I still only thought about other people’s shortcomings and complained too much. This was far from being a benevolent person. I said to myself, “What was the big deal? Isn’t it just a matter of making an empty run and changing one more set of clothes? I just needed to make sure I was on time and do what I’m supposed to do. Besides, the coordinator has so much to do every day. It isn’t easy for her.”
In the group Fa-study on Friday, I met the coordinator, and she brought the laptop. Afterward, she said, “I don't feel right asking you go to my home again. Let’s just meet here tomorrow night. It's closer to your home.” I could see she was also cultivating herself. She didn’t mention what happened, and I didn’t ask about it either. It was as if nothing happened!
Once, a practitioner named Chen made arrangements for us to meet at another practitioner's home on a Saturday to repair a computer. She gave me the address and asked me to arrive at 9 a.m. However, when I got there, it turned out it was not the right address.
I circled around the community, but couldn’t find anyone I knew, so I could only wait at the gate of the community. I figured that when Chen didn’t see me, she would look for me.
Half an hour passed and no one came. I thought, “Since it was scheduled to be done today, I should get the job done and not wait for another time.” I then went to Chen’s home and asked her husband to call her and tell her to pick me up at the gate. We soon found each other and went to the practitioner's home together.
But then Chen asked me to go to her home to help her with her desktop computer. It was mid-July and very hot, and I was still carrying the laptop that Chen asked me to install the previous week. So that day, I climbed up and down the stairs of two buildings, and my shirt was soaked with sweat.
When we arrived at Chen’s home, I found out what happened in that morning. Chen had forgotten the address and had given me a wrong one. After realizing this, she asked the practitioner's spouse to send me a text message. But it was sent to a phone I’d lost years ago. So, of course, I never received it.
In thinking about this, the issue could have been resolved in half an hour, but it took the whole morning. This was obviously interference from the old forces. There must be factors or attachments we needed to look at. At the time, I tried my best to be calm and asked myself to look inside. I realized this was an opportunity for me to cultivate away my impatience.
In the past, fellow practitioners were generally very respectful toward me. Every time they scheduled an appointment, they would always arrange things very carefully, so I rarely had unpleasant experiences. I realized there was no need to blame anyone.
Master said, “For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests.” (“A cultivator is Naturally Part of It,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
When I returned home, I was a little tired, but my mind was at ease because I knew that any apparently unsatisfactory things were all good for our cultivation. I learned how to look inside in accordance with the Fa's requirements.
A few days later, Chen came to my home and said, “My non-cultivator husband commented that our conflict was purposely arranged the other day... He seemed to understand something, didn't he?”
At the time, I was truly at a loss of words and thought, “She is such an interesting person. I was being tossed up and down all morning. Not only that, she didn’t apologize and hinted, ‘Even an ordinary person knows what happened, so you have to look inside. You can’t blame me!’ It was as if she did not claim any responsibility?”
But I still held back and just answered her calmly, “I've been looking inside. I haven’t complained to you at all, right?” She said, “Okay,” as if she was satisfied with my response. Although I didn’t say anything else, my mind still felt uneasy: “Even my six-year-old grandson knows to apologize when he does something wrong. But she happens to be educated and has been cultivating for so many years!”
When we went out to buy supplies, she was late several times and never apologized. But then my mind turned around, “Isn’t this still looking outside and trying to determine who’s right and who’s wrong? Dafa disciples can only cultivate themselves. I must maintain my compassion and be more forgiving and understanding of others. When we fight about who’s right and who’s wrong, who will be happy in the end? The old forces would be. I must take the path arranged by Master.”
When working with this practitioner later on, I only kindly reminded her, “Try not to have ordinary people help with things related to Dafa. When they get involved, the old forces may take advantage of our loopholes and interfere. Master has taught us the Fa in this aspect.” She nodded.
There was a period of time when I attended a Fa-study group far from home. There were quite a few out-of-town practitioners, so I used the time to provide some technical support for them. Once, I saw that some practitioners were using laminated amulets as bookmarks and asked, “I have all kinds of beautiful bookmark files downloaded from Minghui. Why don’t we make some?” The coordinator didn’t say anything at the time, so I just went ahead and printed a few and asked the group to laminate the bookmarks when they made amulets the next time.
When I went returned, however, I found that some bookmarks had been folded and thrown into the trash, and there were two sitting in the same place that had not been laminated. I knew they weren’t interested. I felt a bit embarrassed, so I picked up the bookmarks and took them home.
Someone later pointed out to me, “You should help us with what we need, instead of offering things you know how to do.” I remembered the bookmark proposal I made and understood why it wasn’t well received.
I had only been there for a short period of time. I thought I knew how to make something nice and wanted to share it. But I did not consider that the practitioners there had their arrangements and projects. Wasn’t this my show-off mentality?
I then dug deeper and realized my show-off mentality was quite strong. I loved to share my experiences and give my opinion on everything. Deep down, I felt I was better than most people. I grew up surrounded by praise, and I was used to hearing words of admiration. As a result, I developed a strong competitive mentality, an attachment to reputation, and the mentality of looking down on others.
I am so fortunate to have encountered Falun Dafa in this lifetime. It made me change my notions, let go of my self, and align with the needs of Dafa practitioners’ one-body. Dafa has transformed me from a selfish person with a strong ego into someone who can truly understand and tolerate others. Only by following the Fa's requirements can I cleanse myself and complete my historic mission.