(Minghui.org) I was born in a village in the north of China. My academic scores were always good, and I managed to get accepted at a university. My life seemed smooth-sailing to most, but I was not happy. I started to suffer from aching joints when I was in elementary school. My knees and fingers would become so swollen that I couldn’t bend them.
The walls in my university dorm were always wet during winter, flaring up my arthritis. When I was a senior, winter happened to be the period when we took our exams. My legs were so swollen that I couldn’t tie my shoelaces, and I needed anti-inflammatory injections to relieve the pain. It even took me a few minutes to get up from sitting in a chair. The stress from the exams and the pain from my body almost made me collapse both mentally and physically.
After passing the exams, I went on to do my Masters degree. I soon realized things were not as I had expected them to be. People were scheming and fighting against each other over trivial things, prompting me to think, “What’s the purpose of life? Why do I meet with so many problems?”
This continued until someone gave me a Falun Dafa flier and asked if I would like to try it. Just like that, I started to practice Dafa in November 1998.
Four of us girls shared a dormitory. One of them didn’t have a good temper and always quarreled with the others. Because of this, I didn’t like to go back to the dorm for fear she would lose her temper yet again. So I stayed away and only returned to sleep. I usually went to a fellow practitioner’s room to study Zhuan Falun.
Master Li, Falun Dafa’s founder, said,
“You encounter those things on account of your karmic debts, though we have reduced the debts for you greatly.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
“The altercations or mistreatment that you encounter as you practice might be either of two scenarios. One is that you mistreated the other person during a past life. Perhaps the situation preys on your mind, and you can’t believe someone would treat you as they are. Well, then you shouldn’t have treated them that way in the past.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I returned to my room one evening, and that girl threw a temper tantrum again. I had just entered when she violently slammed the door. At that moment, I didn’t feel uncomfortable and felt at ease.
From then on, I was happy every day. I just tried my best and left the outcome to fate. In this way, I also became lighthearted.
It was only a few months after I started practicing when the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started to persecute Falun Dafa. I didn’t have a good understanding of the Fa and didn’t know how to react. So I gradually followed the flow of society and distanced myself from Dafa. However, deep down inside, I knew that I could never leave the practice.
A decade passed, and I had accomplished many things. I bought my own house and car, and rose up in the ranks at my workplace. But at the same time, my stress levels increased, and I started to suffer from neck pain. My motivation for work seemed to always be about money, and that was the main topic of conversation at my job.
One year, I had a recurring dream. I was taking an exam but couldn’t even answer the simple questions. I didn’t take this dream to heart but after experiencing it repeatedly, I realized that this may have been a hint from Master (Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa). Am I supposed to take an exam? I was under a lot of stress at work. Questions about life once again occupied my mind.
Master once gave me a another hint through an ordinary person’s mouth: “I should learn about the truth.” I thought I understood what the hint meant and obtained software to break through the Internet firewall and was able access topics that were blocked in China. I learned a lot about the CCP’s historic lies and downloaded all of Master’s lectures. I cried after reading them, as I hated myself for wasting over a decade of my life away from Dafa.
I wasn’t afraid of the persecution at that time and started to make truth-clarification materials by myself. I then went out to distribute them in my area. As I didn’t study the Fa in-depth, I had many attachments I didn’t know about.
Within just a few months, I was arrested, illegally detained and taken to a brainwashing center. Under tremendous pressure, I had a great fall in my cultivation. I still remember the nightmares I had: I fell from a lift and had to agonizingly climb back up.
I lost my job after being released from the brainwashing center. My movements were also monitored by the neighborhood committee and agents sent by the police. I also stopped contacting my colleagues and friends. I had left the physical imprisonment of the brainwashing center only to enter an invisible jail. Whenever I stepped out of the house, there would be someone following me. Sometimes he would be near, and sometimes far. I became shrouded in fear!
My computer and all my Dafa books were confiscated, with only my mobile phone left. I still had Master’s lecture recordings on it, but I accidentally deleted them. I cried for a long time. I didn’t know if Master still wanted me.
I bought a new computer some time later and thought of downloading Master’s lectures again. However, the original software I used to circumvent the firewall could no longer be used. Things seemed so hopeless. So I started trying all of the software I could find, and after trying for over an hour, I finally found a program that could be used.
From being an admired white collar worker, I had gong through the CCP’s persecution and landed in a desolate state. The difference between the two states was vast. I realized I was no longer going to have a peaceful life, and the choice I had to make to persist in my cultivation was hard to do. I calmed down and studied the Fa for a long time. Every day, I made meals, did the housework, then used the remaining time to study the Fa. After a year, my frame of mind gradually stabilized.
When my mother fell ill, I took the responsibility of looking after her, as everyone else in the family was working. I helped clean her and wash her feet. I made a makeshift bed on the floor and slept beside my mother’s hospital bed. People in the hospital said to my mother, “Your daughter is really good!”
I am the youngest in the family. None of my siblings understood my belief, so I just kept quiet and played my part as a family member. Through my behavior, I validated Dafa and cultivated myself well. I stayed with my mother until she was able to look after herself, then I returned to the city, preparing to start all over again.
In between searching for a job in the city, I studied the Fa at home. One day, I heard a commotion in the hallway. I opened the door and saw someone doing some installation work. They were actually installing a pocket-sized camera to monitor me around the clock. Fear once again enveloped me, and I didn’t know what to do. I had no one to talk to, and I didn’t have strong righteous thoughts.
I went online to read practitioners’ cultivation articles on the Minghui.org website, but I didn’t find a solution to my problem. I just couldn’t tolerate living with the surveillance camera every day. How could a good person be treated like this? I racked my brains, but I couldn’t think of any good solutions.
I then recalled that I knew a lawyer, so I thought of asking him what I could do from a legal perspective. The lawyer gave me some suggestions, and I went online to download some legal documents about regulations.
I sought out the property management because this was within their jurisdiction. However, they didn’t want to listen when I brought up the issue. Speaking with a sense of justice, I told them, “I’m the owner of the property, so I am your client. As the property manager, you have a responsibility to check who is infringing on my right to privacy.”
They saw that I wasn’t going to leave, so they called the neighborhood committee. I heard them say, “The owner is here to ask why a surveillance camera was installed outside her home and she wants an explanation." In the end, no one from the committee dared to come see me.
Left with no other choice, the property management took me to the neighborhood committee. I asked someone at the committee office, “Which legal regulation gave you the right to install a surveillance camera outside my door?” The committee member couldn’t answer, and said she would call her supervisor and give me an explanation the following week. However, I couldn’t tolerate being monitored like this, even if it was for one more day, so I told her, “Immediately remove the camera. If you don’t, I’ll do it myself!”
After returning home, I dismantled the camera. They never came to give any explanation. Nothing further happened after this episode.
Actually, when I first went to the property management, my mind suddenly went blank. But I thought since I was there, I can’t back down so I’ll just say whatever comes to mind. In the end, the more I spoke, the stronger my righteous thoughts became. I felt so energized when I recalled what Master said.
“Human history does not exist for [people] to take being human as its final goal, nor is human history a recreation ground created for the evil to display its viciousness. Mankind’s history was established for the Fa-rectification, and only Dafa disciples are worthy of displaying their glory here.” (The Essentials of Diligent Progress III).
I later found a job that was very challenging. I was already over 40 years old, it was like starting all over again in a new field of work. I also didn’t know if I could complete the project I was assigned. However, I thought that since Master arranged for me to get the job, there must be a reason for it. Therefore, I just needed to try my best to do well.
This was an overseas project, and all of the materials were in English. First, I didn’t know anything about the technological procedure, even if they were in Chinese. Second, I didn’t know anything about the design or procedures. Despite this, I started learning the procedure, and then went on to learn about the design. Through the English explanations left by my predecessor, I muddled my way through.
Two weeks later, I basically understood all the procedures. When I explained the project to the manager, she said, “You explained it really well. The others may know how to use it, but they may not understand what it is all about.” A month later, I had built the basic model. This was considered very fast even for an experienced person. The manager told the others, “I really found a treasure (referring to me)!”
The whole design process lasted seven months. Sometimes, when I felt I had no more ideas, things would take a sudden turn and inspiration would come. Actually, I know that if not for the wisdom and knowledge bestowed by Dafa, it would have been very difficult for me to complete the project.
My life has been under intense harassment by the CCP over these past few years. I remembered when I had just returned home from the brainwashing center, the ever present surveillance, fear, and suppression always kept me in a highly stressed and anxious state.
When I was out walking, I was in fear. Whenever I saw someone in a uniform, I would also be in a state of anxiety. I had reached the point where I could no longer live a normal life. Sometimes, I was so afraid that I dared not turn on the lights or answer the phone. I even stayed in the car for a night to avoid surveillance.
After more than a year of studying the Fa, I was finally able to lead a normal life. During the CCP’s 19th National Congress, 18 people were divided into three groups to monitor my movements. No matter where I went, they would follow. And there was always someone standing watch outside my house. But every time, Master’s Fa helped me to overcome these difficult times with righteous thoughts.
I know they will come again to watch me during the “sensitive dates”, but I no longer have fear and am able to treat them like friends. In the past, I always looked around when I walked on the street, worrying about everything. Now, come rain or shine, nothing can make me waver.
Recalling these past five years of cultivation, I am filled with gratitude. From being in the situation of having no one to help me, through studying the Fa, I've been able to face all sorts of tribulations in a calm manner. All this is possible because Master has watched over me the whole time.
Thank you, Master!