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When I Followed the Standards of a Cultivator, My In-laws Changed

Dec. 20, 2022 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Shandong Province, China

(Minghui.org) Before practicing Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong), I was short-tempered and fussy about my own interests. I suffered from chronic gastritis, cholecystitis, and gynecological diseases. Every day I felt unwell. My husband often had to take time off from work to take me to the doctor, which affected his work. I was normally in a bad mood when I didn’t feel well, so we quarreled a lot.

After I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998, I strived to cultivate according to the standards of a practitioner. Master said:

“If you always keep a compassionate heart, and a peaceful state of mind, when you run into problems you’ll handle them well because it will give you space as a buffer.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

I followed Master’s teachings. My temper changed, I became calmer and more open-minded, and was able to put others first. All my diseases went away. My husband witnessed the changes in me. He no longer needed to take time off from work, we no longer had medical expenses, and I became more tolerant and understanding. I let go of dwelling on his shortcomings, and our family became more harmonious. My husband praised me in front of other practitioners, “Falun Gong is so powerful that it transformed my wife into such a nice person.” My husband became very supportive of my cultivation and always made it convenient for me. I have to thank Master and Dafa for this.

When I saw former co-workers after more than 20 years, they asked me, “Why don’t you have any wrinkles? Look at us, we are all getting old. Look at you, you are younger than before. Your skin is delicate and looks better than others, even those wearing makeup. You became more beautiful, what panacea have you taken?” Many people complemented me like this over the years.

I said that I didn’t take any panacea, except for practicing Falun Gong. Master taught me to be a good person according to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. That made me think about others before myself, and not go along with the trends in society, or get angry or emotional. When we are happy and not suffering from disease, we will look younger, isn’t it true? I used to suffer from all kinds of diseases that made me sad every day, which made me look old, right? Is this science or superstition? Most people agreed with me.

Changes also occurred in my relationships with my in-laws. My husband’s family has six children, four daughters and two sons. I am the eldest daughter-in-law, with two elder sisters-in-law, one younger brother-in-law, and two younger sisters-in-law. There were two houses in the family, one for my parents-in-law to live in and one to rent out. Because my brother-in-law’s family and my family both lived in houses assigned by our company, my parents-in-law said that the two houses will be passed on to the two sons as an inheritance.

Our village was demolished in 2019, and the compensation for the demolition was substantial. My parents-in-law usually preferred their daughters. As the houses were converted into so much money, they wanted to allocate shares to their daughters. According to Chinese tradition, the house(s) should be passed on to sons and grandsons. Married daughters should not come back home to get a share. At that time, the smug wife of my younger brother-in-law was unhappy about the parents decision, asking, “How could daughters take benefits from both their parents’ side and their parents-in-law’s side?” Through this situation, six families lost their peace, and all parties suffered.

My in-laws were such a lively family, and were now making a big fuss over money. According to everyday reasoning, as the eldest daughter-in-law, I should side with my sister-in-law to protect my share. However, I am a practitioner.

“If you fight and struggle like an ordinary person, you are an ordinary person. And if you did it with more gusto than him, then you’re not even as good as that ordinary person.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

Seeing my ill father-in-law drag himself around in order to help his daughter fight for these interests made me angry every day. It was deplorable and pitiful to me. However, I had to abide by Master’s requirements and not participate in their disputes, just let it be. I only acted according to the standard of a cultivator. As a result, Master allowed me to get my share. As a matter of fact, this event changed the attitude of the whole family towards me.

I don’t know what kind of predestined connection I had with this big family. As soon as I entered this family, my mother-in-law looked down on me and never treated me as a member of her family. They didn’t let me participate in any decisions, and they used to strongly oppose my Falun Dafa practice. Then through this matter of the houses, their attitudes toward me changed.

In the past, this big family had dinner every Sunday, and all the sons, daughters-in-law, daughters, sons-in-law, and grandchildren participated. My husband was always the one who was called and invited, not me. Occasionally I would participate, but only as labor. When I stretched out my hand to reach for dishes of food on the table, my mother-in-law would say, “Don’t eat this one, so-and-so loves it, keep it for her/him.” One time my elder sister-in-law went to the field to pull a lot of shepherd’s purse, so she packed some for me to bring back home. My mother-in-law blocked the door with both hands and refused to let me take any, saying that they were all set aside for her.

Before I practiced Falun Dafa, I often fought with my husband about these matters. After the house money allocation issue, my mother-in-law seemed to change into a different person. She never forgot to call me about the weekly dinners. At the dinner she put the delicious foods on my plate, told me to eat more, and made dumplings for me to take home. She also praised me in front of relatives and friends for how sensible and trouble-free I was.

My younger sister-in-law said in front of fellow practitioners, “It seems that Dafa is really good. My sister-in-law practices Dafa, and she seems like a different person.” One of my sister-in-law’s husband was a cadre of the evil Party. He changed from originally opposing my practice of Dafa to now supporting me. When the whole family went on a trip, he called me, saying, “Come and see this mat. It’s a good mat for meditation.”

Falun Dafa helped me establish a respectful and trustworthy status in this big family. I can’t find suitable words to express these wonderful changes. I just feel the greatness of Master’s kindness. From the bottom of my heart, I have a feeling of happiness and beauty. It’s really good to cultivate, and to have Master guide me.

Fellow practitioners, if anything is inappropriate, please kindly correct me.