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Practicing Forbearance in Family Conflicts

Jan. 13, 2022 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in China

(Minghui.org) I often had conflicts with members of my family, and only recently have I been able to see them as opportunities to improve my xinxing.

When someone in my family criticized me, I would start to argue with them before I was aware I was doing it. They also became emotional. Afterward, I regretted that I’d gotten upset over such a trivial matter, but the next time it happened, I still couldn’t help myself start to argue again.

While studying the Fa recently, the phrase “stay silent” often appeared in my mind. If I could do that when a conflict started and stay silent, I knew things would develop in a good way. But that was easier said than done. If I don’t cultivate my character well, I won’t be able to do it.

I realized I had a habit of arguing as well as a competitive mentality. These attachments developed into bad substances in other dimensions. Whenever there was a conflict, they would have a negative impact on my behavior. As a cultivator, I must practice forbearance and get rid of those substances bit by bit. I had to remind myself that I should stay silent.

A similar conflict happened again with my mother. I had gone out to clarify the truth and things didn’t go as well as I’d expected. I told my mother about it, and she blamed me. When I was just about to argue with her, I suddenly remembered I should stay silent. So I didn’t say a word and immediately felt a sense of relief. My mother also stopped blaming me.

Master Li said:

“We say that when you take a step back in a conflict, you will find the seas and the skies boundless, and it will certainly be another situation.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)

I’ve continued to improve in my practice of forbearance. I looked inward further and realized I also have a pursuit of perfection. I shouldn’t have this kind of mentality, either. By looking inward after conflicts, I found two attachments and was able to improve my xinxing.