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From the Brink of Desperation to Being Filled with Hope and Happiness

Sept. 8, 2021 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in China

(Minghui.org) I was born with tuberculosis and congenital heart problems. I had to take medications, injections and constantly go to doctors. I coughed all night and spat out mucus and suffered from insomnia. It was hard for me to breathe. I had trouble with excretion and my abdomen always felt bloated. Life was unbearable and every day felt like torture—I was in agonizing pain. I did not attend school because of my illnesses and was thus illiterate. My mother and father fought and quarreled a lot over financial issues to cure my illnesses. In the end, my mother committed suicide by drinking insecticide. 

As I got older my health problems improved a little. When I was nineteen years old, my father arranged a marriage for me. My mother-in-law treated me very badly. I was forced to do all the work around the house and she and I were always angry and at odds.

My illnesses got worse when I turned 39 years old. On top of my old illnesses, I was diagnosed with several new ones. I felt dizzy and nauseous and I was unable to open my eyes. My body was in excruciating pain and it was hard for me to even breathe or eat. I was unable to do anything and my body was covered in bruises. My body hurt so much that I was unable to sleep at night. Because I was exhausted and in constant pain I was always in a bad mood and argued with my family—my foul temper also affected my children’s school work. 

My husband earned 1,000 yuan (approximately USD$154) per month—not enough to support our children, let alone treat my illnesses. I thought about ending my life since I was unable to do anything at home. I bought the same insecticide my mother consumed to end her life. By the summer of 1998, my situation was desperate and I decided to follow in my mother’s footsteps and end my life by drinking insecticide. 

The truth is, I already tried to commit suicide. I felt that I suffered from the moment I was born and there was no cure. I jumped into a reservoir and was saved by someone the first time; the second time, I attempted to poison myself by frying an egg with a whole box of monosodium glutamate; the third time, I took more than one hundred sleeping pills but was saved by my family when they rushed me to the hospital. 

A Ray of Hope

I was determined to end my life. I dressed in my favorite clothes and just when I was about to drink the insecticide, I heard someone calling my name from outside. I hid the insecticide in the change of clothes and shoved it under some blankets. 

It was my neighbor inviting me to go with her and learn Falun Dafa. She said, “There are some Falun Dafa practitioners here and maybe your illnesses will be cured if you learn to practice. Come with me and give it a try!” I did not want to reject her kindness so I followed her. We arrived at a middle school and saw a young male Falun Dafa practitioner holding a book. He said, “Falun Dafa is the universe’s Fa and it is a cultivation practice.”

My eyes lit up as soon as I heard that Falun Dafa was the universe’s Fa and was a self-cultivation practice. I was immediately filled with respect for the Divine. The practitioner held the book Zhuan Falun with both hands and read aloud a section. 

Master said,

“As practitioners, you won’t fight back when you’re beaten or sworn at.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun

I was immediately enlightened and knew that this was a path leading to the divine! I wanted to practice Falun Dafa!

I listened attentively all morning and my body felt very comfortable. I felt very cheerful, and thought, “Master, I wish I had encountered Falun Dafa earlier!”

I put on my earphones and listened to Master’s audio lectures every day. I abided by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Master soon began to purify my body and opened my celestial eye. While laying in bed, I saw colorful Faluns (law wheels) that made “swishing” noises while they rotated. I was very happy and said, “Master is taking care of me now! Master is taking care of me!”

Perhaps Master wanted to strengthen my faith in Dafa because when I would lay down I was able to levitate. When I got scared, I would drop back to my bed but was not hurt. 

I also saw many amazing things in other dimensions—it didn’t matter if my eyes were closed or open. I saw heavenly palaces, fairies and phoenixes. It was so beautiful that there were no words to describe what I saw. I told Master, “Master, I am determined in my faith in Dafa. I will not get distracted by what I see in other dimensions and I will follow Master all the way to the end!” From then on, Master did not let me levitate anymore and my celestial eye was also closed. 

All of my illnesses disappeared in two weeks! For the first time in my life I was illness-free! I was able to do household chores once again. I threw away all my medications and pills. I was truly happy! My family lived harmoniously and I was also able to work and earn some money. 

I apologized to my in-laws and said, “I am sorry for cursing at you in the past. I will never behave badly towards you again. Master teaches us to be better people and not to ‘fight back when you’re beaten or sworn at.’” My father-in-law was very happy and said, “Don’t reprimand yourself.

When I saw that many people were reading Zhuan Falun, I felt anxious since I was illiterate. I tearfully stood in front of Master’s portrait and said, “Master I want to learn to read. I held Zhuan Falun in my hands as I listened to Master’s lectures. I followed the characters in Zhuan Falun as I listened to Master’s audio lectures all night. When dawn came I was miraculously able to read the table of contents and Lunyu. Though I still did not know how to read Zhuan Falun, I knelt in front of Master’s portrait for two weeks while listening to the audio lectures. 

Now, not only can I read Zhuan Falun, but I can also read Master’s other lectures. Falun Dafa is truly miraculous!