(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master and fellow practitioners!
I would like to use this experience-sharing report to tell you about my cultivation path beginning from the time I began to work in the media. Besides, I want to talk about the cultivation experience I gained during the first few months I was working on this project.
It has been several years since I wanted to reach as many people as possible through social media, I wanted to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) disrespect and cruel treatment of human dignity.
I founded a media channel with other practitioners in 2017 to which we uploaded a number of videos. I truly enjoyed the teamwork with the practitioners and especially teaching people in new ways. We put a lot of work into this project. However, the effect was not what I had hoped for, as there were only a few hundred views per video. Overall, the amount of work did not seem to be commensurate with the result. I wondered how we could achieve a better effect with the skills we had acquired.
Somewhat later, our small team began to partially collaborate with our major media outlets. The range we achieved was much larger, and the manpower we used was put to better use. Thus, in 2018, I decided to support the media work with another day on the weekend. But, I did not want to give up this specially funded project at first. While in Berlin for a few days to work with the others on the media project, the boss said, “At some point, you have to make a decision on what you truly want.”
Over the following time I wondered why I was having such a hard time focusing fully on one project to achieve the best possible result.
Master said,
“It's just like when this fist goes out--it's strong when everyone is clenched together. (Master makes a fist.) But if you're saying that this one wants to do this, that one wants to do that, and the next one something else (spreading the five fingers apart and pointing to each finger), then that's weak, and as soon as it goes out, it will be repelled, right?” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
When I looked inward, I found my stubbornness and craving for recognition, especially wanting to set up my own successful project. I realized that this made me one of those stubborn “fingers” that ignore the fist, meaning not being able to find the best result. Rather, I was the one who was failing to focus on the power of practitioners to develop the one body.
Besides my full-time job I have been involved in media work, especially when it had to do with video production, since 2018. Working at the media really satisfied me because I believed it to be a good contributor to clarifying the truth. Not only that, but I also enjoy working creatively.
I didn’t see such gratification at my full-time job. My work seemed more and more trivial and above all pointless to me. Even though it was always clear to me that I was doing a great job, and could always clarify the truth about Dafa, something was missing. For a long time, I desired to pursue media work full-time. However, there was always a big problem. Media pay is very modest, and I just could not imagine living on a smaller salary.
The qualification program I was undergoing at the company where I worked at the time came to an end in October 2020. At the beginning of the year I had begun to give it more thought to how I would organize more time for media work. But, I did not want to resign from my job, which had promised a substantial salary increase at the end of the program.
Thus, I looked at my options and calculated what model I could use to reduce my working hours and have time for media work, but still earn enough money. I looked at several models that would allow me to reduce my professional work hours. Thus, I looked at a number of model calculations, including salary increases, or when remaining at the present income level. I also included sometimes more and at other times fewer hours for media work.
Given the calculations, I concluded that I would still earn enough despite working 50 percent fewer hours, both before and after the salary increases. Therefore, I pursued this particular model.
Then, when I met my employer's management in August 2020 and told them my plans to reduce my hours, my boss showed little enthusiasm. My boss counted on me. Along with the promotion, I was supposed to take on more tasks and responsibilities. He said that my working fewer hours was unrealistic.
Given that I knew that my work results and myself were well regarded by the management, I thought I could exert some pressure. So, I said that I would consider resigning. Relatively unimpressed, my boss simply said that this would be my decision. Ultimately, I had to listen to my heart and come to a decision. After the conversation, I was disappointed. Because my boss had not tried to keep me and address my work performance, I realized that all the thoughts I had in advance, using the working time models, had been completely unnecessary.
Now, I was faced with the decision to either stay with the company, getting a pay raise, but still doing tasks I considered boring and pointless or joining the media full-time for less money. To do this, I would pursue an activity that fulfilled me, and that I considered important from deep within my heart.
After the interview I thought about this only briefly. It quickly became clear to me that since the beginning of the year I had firmly expected to work more for the media and less in my profession. I absolutely could not imagine continuing to work full-time for my then employer. Rather, the words of my boss at that time were still going through my head: I should listen to my heart and decide for myself. Today I am sure that this was a hint from Master.
In such a situation, any sensible manager would do everything possible to retain a highly qualified employee, especially someone in whom the company had also invested a lot of money.
I knew in my heart that I wanted to work for the media. So, during my lunch break in Berlin, I called the managing director of the media and said that the plans to reduce my working hours fell through, but that I would like to start working full-time at the media.
At that point I had really only listened to my heart. The mind that had worried over and over again about the financial future the entire time with the thought, “Somehow it will work out.” On the day I had the conversation, I put the resignation on the desk of my somehow astonished boss.
In retrospect, I understood that I am a Dafa cultivator from deep within my heart. However, my mind covers the situation rationally. So, when my heart is in conflict with my mind, I have learned to trust my heart, knowing that Dafa is deep in my heart – trusting what my true self wants and not giving too much space to educated human notions.
Without thinking any further about it, I had decided to quit my secure and well-paid job, and start my business in the middle of the Covid crisis and work for the media. All former model calculations were now unnecessary. Rather, I had to see how to live on a lot smaller income in the future. In doing so I had the inner confidence that it will work out.
The first thing I realized was that I had to reduce my fixed costs. So, I started with the biggest single item – rent costs. Before, I had three large rooms to myself. I asked another practitioner to share my apartment. Moving in together went surprisingly well. This practitioner found another person, helping to reduce the high fixed costs even before I started working for the media. Before, I had a separate bedroom, living room, and studio. Now, however, I have only a medium-sized room for myself, where I had to find space for my belongings. I understood that I would simply have to do without what I was used to and live in one room. I thought that helped reduce my attachment to wealth and prosperity.
It was clear to me at that time that I simply had to do without in some respects. I thought that it would help me let go of my attachments to wealth and prosperity. This was surprisingly easy for me at that time. My heart was quite serene. My mind told me that I had passed the attachment to wealth and money test easily. However, I was mistaken when I looked at it in the long run.
When I started to work for the media, I was suddenly faced with a lot of high expenses. For example, my car needed repair work and had to be taken to the car repair shop. Besides, my laptop needed an expensive repair, and I needed a number of different items. All were expenses I could not afford with my media earnings for the first few months. All I saw were a lot of high expenses, but so little income.
Not only did I have low earnings, but I also had to dig into my savings, and it didn’t look that I would be able to save up again in the future. This caused me to lose my financial security.
After I told my parents about my job situation and the lower income, my mother asked me if I could get by, given my earnings. I replied that I had everything under control, and it would all work out. My father, however, said that it might be enough for the time being, but I also had to think ahead and consider how I could manage financially if I were to start a family. This started me to think further about the subject, and I realized from my father’s comment that I had even more hidden financial concerns on the surface than I had thought. Although I wondered about such a situation, I was able to answer quite calmly that the situation could change again under such a scenario.
I experienced a turning point when I wanted to sell my old camera. It got lost in the mail, and I wondered for a long time how to get the issue resolved. But, this dragged on for several weeks without any result. At some point, I let go of the thought of the constant material losses and decided, “Okay, maybe I should just let this issue go.” Thus, I was able to accept the constant material losses much more easily.
Once I had let go of my worries about losing money all the time, I looked at my bank account one day and was astounded. I noticed a credit entry but had no clue for what. After looking for the origin of the credit entry I found that I had received a credit for that 12-year-old camera from the large mail-order company that sold me the camera 12 years ago. It was the full purchase price when I bought the camera. The full purchase price from 12 years ago was much higher than the loss I had incurred after the camera had disappeared. After 12 years, inexplicably, the mail-order company was indicating a return of the camera for the full purchase price, even though it was lost in the mail, and definitely did not fall within the 30 day return period.
When I thought about what had actually happened, I understood that the constant loss of money was a trial for me. Once I accepted the constant financial losses as inevitable they stopped, and I even got some money back. From this incident, I understood that I had to lose some in order to pass the test of taking the money issue more easily. Apparently, I lost more money than I should have, which is why I got some back, based on my understanding.
Master said,
“We believe in letting things happen naturally. We know that we won’t be deprived of what is rightfully ours, and shouldn’t labor to get what is not.” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun)
This incident helped me understand that I don’t have to worry about money, nor do I have to worry about wanting to achieve anything in particular in order to make me feel good.
From the beginning I believed in Master, and that it would “work out somehow.” But, the real concern of taking care of my financial well-being through human efforts needed to be toned down. Now, I know that I will only lose what is not mine and that I can have complete confidence that I will always get exactly what I need for my present situation and cultivation.
I have been working full-time in the media since September 2020. In the beginning, I already had some video skills, which I still love to do. But, I got quickly assigned new tasks. I realized that I should not just do what I would like to do, but if they are important for the overall project. That way, as one body, we can achieve a better overall effect. At the same time, the new tasks and changes of tasks are always related to my cultivation.
At first, I was always glad to take on editing video interview jobs that were already recorded. For example, someone else did the writing. As a result of my legal training, I did not have good journalistic writing skills. I tried twice but was not particularly motivated. It took me a long time, and the text was dry and boring, so they were not suitable for a newspaper.
After some time I realized how inconvenient it was to have someone else from the editorial team write the articles for my videos. I noticed that we were not as effective with the project as we could have been. Thus, I thought to learn how to write effectively, which would result in a better impact overall.
Formerly, when I had no desire or motivation to write these texts, they became boring and were more comparable to legal briefs – meaning that they were not suitable for publication. I still have to practice a lot and improve in my writing. When I had the desire to take on this task, to improve on the editorial work, my writing skills changed. Without being particularly concerned about my writing skills were no longer legally boring, but much more suitable for publication in a newspaper. Suddenly I knew how to write better.
Master said,
“The elaborate process of developing higher energy for a practitioner all takes place in other dimensions. And not just in one dimension, but in all dimensions associated with the person; his body will be undergoing changes in each. That’s obviously not something you could do. These things are in the hands of one’s teacher; it is he who does them. And this is why it’s said that one only needs to focus on practicing and one’s teacher will handle the rest. (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I never learned to write in the journalistic style. However, Master gave me the wisdom, as I had developed a sincere desire to improve the clarifying the truth project.
All in all, I understood that there are many interesting ways to get involved in the media. However, it is always the case that I do not just do what I feel like doing, but rather that I’m assigned the right tasks to cultivate myself in different aspects at a time. I also noticed how many new opportunities arise in my work, allowing me to reach even more people.
Therefore, I am very grateful for the opportunity to work full-time on a project that explains the truth of this cultivation practice. I thank Master for the opportunity to contribute, and also thank my fellow practitioners who, with much dedication and sincere hearts have been an invaluable cultivation environment for me.
I would like to conclude with a poem from Hong Yin V by Master:
We await the Creator’s deliverance at the end of daysOn the eve of disaster He spreads the Way that savesBut many lives are consumed by worldly pursuitsThough all the efforts of this life perish at the grave. We travel alone and empty-handed from one life to the nextCaught up in this world, we forget our purpose hereMany were sovereigns above before coming to the earthThey forsook their divine forms to save their peoples aboveWorldly success is not that important in the endFulfill your sacred destiny to be renewedFind the truth to break free of this mazeFulfill your purpose on this earth to taste true joy(“Why We Came to This World,” Hong Yin V)
(Presented at the 2021 Germany Fa Conference)