(Minghui.org) After graduating from college and entering society, many of my friends got married and established their families. Longing to have a companion of my own, I had several relationships with non-Falun Gong practitioners but they all ended shortly.
I also made some mistakes during dating and did things that a practitioner should not have done. I knew I didn't do well each time but I didn't search deeper within. After reading Master's poem “When Compassion Surpasses Love” in Hong Yin V, I came to a new understanding about what actions are truly good for others, and became more and more aware that falling in love with a non-practitioner may bring harm to him.
The evil will use any means to destroy us and keep us from saving people. They will use anyone, anything, and any object around us to do so, without any consideration for the life involved and the consequences facing that life. When practitioners have the attachment to sentimentality, the evil will use it to persecute us. External factors can sway a practitioner's thoughts, let alone an ordinary person's.
Master has actually mentioned many times in the Fa that everyday people can be easily manipulated and anything from other dimensions can control people.
“Human beings are the weakest while that being is quite formidable. It can control your mind and easily manipulate you at will. It can even end your life easily.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
“The animal sees it, “Didn’t you want to make a fortune? Okay, I’ll let you make a fortune.” It is a very easy thing to control an everyday person’s mind.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
“She is not fighting with you only superficially and still being nice to you in her heart—it is not so. It is real anger from the bottom of her heart, because whoever has acquired the karma feels uncomfortable. It is guaranteed to be this way.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Thinking about every man I dated, maybe it’s his predestined relationship with Dafa that led him to me to learn the truth about Dafa. But I developed a relationship with him because of my attachment. The evil then used him to create difficulties for me and deprive me of the time to save people. When I joined him to do things he enjoyed and attended social activities together, I was left with less time cultivating in Dafa or doing Dafa projects. When he and I had quarrels, I became unable to calmly do Dafa work. When he objected to my cultivation of Dafa, he was doing harm to himself by not supporting a Dafa practitioner. The list goes on. I realized that dating a non-practitioner had indirectly impacted my efforts to save people, which was actually a sin and he would accrue a great deal of karma as well.
It is even sadder if the old forces used my attachment to make him say things disrespectful to Dafa or do things harming Dafa. He would commit irrevocable sin. What would happen to his future?
During the short time of each relationship, I always had a feeling as if I had hijacked his time and that our karmic relationships did not belong to me. Now I realize that maybe he was meant to learn the truth of Dafa from me and we’d part ways after I did my job clarifying the truth to him. It was my sentiments that tried to further develop this relationship. When we were together, he probably should have met someone else or encounter something to pay his debt, but got delayed because of me. It was actually not good for either of us.
Master's poem reminded me that I have to convert human love and admiration into compassion. If I wanted to be good to him and wanted him to have a bright future, I should have told him the truth and continued on my path of saving people, instead of stopping there and misleading him with my attachment or even causing him to lose his bright future.
I am not talking about everyone's relationship here. Everyone's situation is different. This is just a summary of the experiences I have encountered after I began practicing Dafa. Please point out anything not in line with Dafa.
Finally, I would like to share Master's poem for us to encourage each other.
He can see the love in her eyesBut must pretend to be no less the wiseHer words are full of affection and careBut the truth is something he must airFor followers of Dafa are now oppressedAnd togetherness would bringonly distress and frustrationHe must but keep this love in his breastYet every time his eyes upon her restHe wishes her to stay and not departOn leaving he aches to spill his heartBut so that she may have a future brightand for the sake of her enduring trust,Do her right, on his part, he mustSo that all living things may be savedHe honors those vows to the Creator he gave,with every ounce of strength”(“When Compassion Surpasses Love,” Hong Yin V)
Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s current understanding meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)