(Minghui.org) Although my son was immersed in the Fa while growing up, he did not understand the true meaning of cultivation. Influenced by my husband, a non-practitioner, my son believed in atheism and “science.”
There is a saying: “Children often speak the truth.” My son often pointed out my problems. I felt Master was using him to help me enlighten.
After the worldwide CCP virus (coronavirus) pandemic began, my son became very prudent. He wore his mask when we went outside even though I told him that practitioners have energy that destroys karma and germs. When he told me that he might not have that capability, I reassured him that Master protects all his disciples. I was glad to see how he did not view things from a “scientific perspective”, but from a cultivator’s viewpoint.
My son and I discussed how one practitioner was still taking medicine. While we read the Fa one day we read what Master said.
Master said,
“Then you can go ahead and take medicine, as we’ve never said that every day people can’t take medicine. We only say that your enlightenment quality isn’t up to par and that you didn’t pass this test well. We have no rule that says you can’t take medicine when you practice cultivation—we don’t have a rigid rule like that.” (“Teaching the Fa in New York City,” Lectures in the United States)
Almost immediately I said, “See, Master did not set a rule for practitioners not to take medication. It is all up to oneself whether or not to take it!”
My son was very calm and told me that I was very aggressive in comprehending Master’s lectures.
I was speechless. I had used Master’s sacred Fa to my own advantage. I wanted to persuade others and validate myself but in reality, my tone was defending myself, and my understanding was narrow and limited, I had already deviated from the profound inner meaning of the Fa. No wonder people weren’t receptive when I clarified the truth—it must be because I lack compassion.
Aren’t I disrespecting the Fa when I use the Fa to validate my point of view? I had done this a lot—why didn’t I realize this? I was quite ashamed of my actions.
I frequently interact with Ling, a practitioner with a very strong CCP (Chinese Communist Party) mentality. Whenever Ling encounters a dispute or argument, her tone gets very loud and she speaks faster. She says what’s on her mind and does not allow other people to voice their opinions. Ling called me one day and we got into an argument. Her tone got louder and more aggressive. Since I was not able to reason with her, I hung up the phone.
My son was next to me the entire time and he told me that my voice was very loud as well. I started to excuse myself saying that if I didn’t raise my voice, Ling would not have been able to hear me. My son told me that regardless of what she said, I shouldn’t have spoken in a loud tone and I should have remained calm.
I understood everything at once. My son was right. Ling was a mirror image of myself and it was all Party culture. Even though my tone and speech were not as aggressive as Ling’s, I was at fault as well. I am grateful to Ling and my son for pointing this out, enabling me to identify the Party culture in myself.
Since the beginning of 2021, I was able to memorize and recite Zhuan Falun. I did not tell other practitioners, however, because I did not want them to tell me that I memorized in vain since my cultivation state was still poor. I encountered a tribulation, but I was unable to upgrade myself by looking at things from the Fa’s perspective.
I told my son that after I memorized the Fa, people might regard me as a “model worker.” I knew I was not looking inward when I said this and that I was insinuating that people would be jealous of me. My son said, “You’ve memorized the Fa very well, but may not understand it as well as others who’ve only read it a couple of times. Everyone has different levels of understanding. It only means that you are very pious when you work hard to recite the Fa. It doesn’t mean anything else.”
Although I agreed with my son on the surface, deep down, I felt disappointed. I spent many years overcoming obstacles in memorizing the Fa, so how could my understanding of the Fa be less than those who just began cultivating? I immediately realized that I had the mentality of showing off, and this was the cause of my tribulations.