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I Became a Better Parent after Learning Dafa

May 5, 2021 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Northern California

(Minghui.org) I started to practice Falun Dafa in 2014, after a coworker, a Dafa practitioner, introduced Dafa to me. I really appreciate Master’s arrangement. Since I obtained the Fa, my body and mind have been purified. I finally found answers to questions that had confounded me before, like the issue of educating children.

Learning Dafa Clears Away Confusion—The Real Meaning of Education Is In Zhuan Falun

After my son was born, I was interested in all kinds of children education books, articles and discussions. I wanted to find the best way to raise a child. Some people said that the child should be raised in a tough environment. I couldn’t find a clear answer for how best to raise my child.

I was taught to be a very honest and kind child by my parents. But, I doubt this way still works in today’s society. Will it make the child too kind, to be easily bullied by bad kids? Today’s society is chaotic, and many children are bullies.

I told my son when he was in elementary school that “you should never bully other kids. But if there is anyone who bullies you, you must fight back. Otherwise, he will bully you whenever he gets a chance.”

This was until I saw what Master said, “The Sole Measure of Goodness: Zhen, Shan, Ren” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun) Master said,

“But however much people’s values may change, the qualities that define this universe will not, and they are the sole measure of your person.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)

I suddenly realized that the criteria of Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance is truly correct for teaching a child.

Master said:

“Parents often teach their kids to “be a little smarter” so that they will make it in life, in a worldly sense. But being “smart” like that is wrong in view of the universe. We believe in letting things take their course and worrying little about how things will turn out for us, whereas someone who has learned to really be clever will always try to come out on top. He might have been taught [to not let things go, and] that if any kid crosses him, to “get them in trouble” with teachers or parents, and to “pocket any money” he sees lying around. And the more he learns such things growing up, the more selfish he becomes in life. And his mistreatment of people will cost him virtue.” (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)

I think this example is talking about me. I feel ashamed about my past teaching methods. The transformation of de (virtue) and karma in Zhuan Falun also cleared up my confusion.

I thought I'd found the right direction in education and felt at peace. I encouraged my son to use Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance as the criteria in his life and improve xinxing. I introduced traditional Chinese culture to him, and had him watch the Shen Yun performance. I also told him to do volunteer work as much as possible, and to help teachers, school mates and people around him whenever he could.

One day, my son told me that a classmate got angry because he lost a tennis match. He hit my son with his tennis racket. But, my son didn’t get mad and forgave him. I was so glad when I heard it, and told him that he did the right thing. My son joked, ”Mother I remember you told me before that I should fight back.” I said, “Sorry, at that time your mother did not study Dafa.”

My son gets along well with all his school mates, and his school performance is pretty good. I have not touched all those education books for a long time, because I believe that the real meaning of education is in Zhuan Falun.

Through Looking Inward and Eliminating Attachments, the Relationship with My Son Improves

Some attachments are very hard to detect after holding on to them for a long time. I would think it is just the way it is. But actually, it is not. For example, there is my attachment of wanting my son to be accepted at a top-ranked college. Many kids of my friends and coworkers went to Ivy League universities. I wish my son could go to one as well in the future. I was very strict about my son’s school performance and other activities. I would become impatient when he couldn’t reach my expectations. My teenager started to rebel. Sometimes, we were not so happy with each other.

I later saw what Master said,

“Whenever you encounter problems you should each look inward to search for the cause within, regardless of whether you’re to blame or not.” (Teachings at the Conference in Europe)

By trying to find the root cause, I found that even though wanting my son to go to a good college is for the good of my son, my own vanity was hidden behind it. I would feel proud when other people knew that my son goes to a good college. Isn’t that an attachment to fame? It's just like what an ordinary person pursues. Isn’t that an attachment that needs to be eliminated by a Dafa practitioner?

After realizing this, I started to get rid of this attachment. Before, I thought that a good college would not only teach more professional knowledge, but also could teach a student to become a good person. But nowadays, can the top colleges still teach people to be good? I doubt it.

In that case, there is no reason to pursue these top colleges. If my son can align himself with the criteria of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in all respects, any college would be good. I truly gave up my attachment about the top colleges, and I don’t require my son to reach all the high standards in school performance. Instead, I showed trust in his abilities, and let him be more responsible and arrange his own time. The results have been very positive. Our relationship has improved. My son feels less stressed and smiles more.

Master said,

“In truth, the spiritual journey is none other than an ongoing process of learning to let go of the things of this world that we may be attached to.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)

I will try my best to get rid of all kinds of attachments, and deal with all people and things with compassion and a peaceful mind. I will strive to learn more from my fellow practitioners, do the three things well, examine every single thought, and become a selfless and truly qualified Dafa practitioner.