(Minghui.org) I began to cultivate in Falun Dafa in 1997. Back then, I was the only Dafa practitioner in our area. Whenever I had doubts and questions, I analyzed the theoretical aspects of matters, and seldom did I seek to gain a deeper understanding from the perspectives of the Fa.
I believed that after searching within when conflicts occurred and solving them, I would pass a test and elevate to a higher level. I felt satisfied with myself to have come to this understanding. However, what I did not do was to find the roots of the problems that had prevented my true self from gaining enlightenment.
Dafa cultivation is a serious matter. We must grasp every thought that is not on par with the Fa and eliminate it. I hope my experience will encourage fellow practitioners to study the Fa and cultivate more diligently.
During the pandemic lockdown, I seldom contacted anyone, but my mind was often filled with thoughts of resentment. I studied the Fa and rejected negative thoughts to disintegrate the evil beings and factors behind them. However, as soon as I put down Dafa books, resentments and grudges against those who hurt me in the past all resurfaced. I could not help but indulge myself in grievances. I had fallen into a vicious cycle that the angrier I became, the more I believed that those people deliberately treated me unfairly.
Master said,
“When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun, 2014 Translation Version)
I understood the reasons why I should be more tolerant of others, and let go of all negative thoughts and human attachments. I knew that encountering conflicts with others was an opportunity for me to improve xinxing and transform my karma, therefore, I should be grateful for those who gave me the opportunities. Yet, my mind often sunk into the thoughts of bad memories and resentments, and these bad thoughts even began to affect my cultivation. I was in that state for a long time.
I had a dream one day that a fellow practitioner had two trees full of ripe apricots, and then a voice woke me up, “Look at the situation there.” My first thought was that there was something wrong with the fellow practitioner. Then I saw the Minghui article that she shared with me, “Developing the Habit of Looking Within.” Reading the title, I suddenly enlightened that the root of the problem that had troubled me for so long—not being able to awaken my original true self to reject the false self.
With this enlightenment, I gained a completely different mindset. The anger that had engrossed my thoughts vanished, and in its place was my clear and bright mind, as if my true self had emerged from the shell of the false me. I knew that I had truly passed this test, and elevated to a higher level.
Looking within, I found out that for a long period of time, I had been attached to reasonings with an eager pursuit to learn a whole picture of every matter at the human level. Sometimes I even excluded myself from the principles of Dafa. The old forces grasped my loopholes to persecute my mind. I begged Master to bless me with abilities to send forth powerful righteous thoughts to completely negate the arrangements of the old forces and eliminate all evil factors and rotten ghosts that interfered with my thoughts.
From this lesson I learned that I must cultivate my true self by melting into the Fa, eliminating all human emotions, and attachments, and doing the three things wholeheartedly. Only then can I save sentient beings, and go home with Master.