(Minghui.org) I would like to share my experience with a debilitating sickness karma that troubled me every year. By changing my notions and having firm righteous thoughts, I eventually broke through it this year.
Most people who have lived in Japan for years are allergic to pollen. I have lived here for 22 years. My pollen allergy started a few years ago. I sometimes tackled it well, but not always. One morning about a week ago, I suddenly had a big sneeze while doing the Falun Dafa exercises. My first thought was whether the pollen season had started. This unrighteous thought invited more symptoms, including sneezing, tearing up, congestion, and an itchy throat.
At first, I thought Master was cleansing my body, but in the back of my mind, I was worried it was my pollen allergy. The symptoms got worse and worse. I couldn’t stop sneezing or blowing my nose the whole day. The raw skin around my nose stung, as if it had been sprinkled with salt. My cough got so bad, I felt dizzy.
These terrible symptoms were so real that my righteous thoughts dwindled when they didn’t go away. The pain and itchiness made me feel irritable and helpless. I understood how hard it was for fellow practitioners who face life-and-death tests, as the pain just got worse.
I began to gather my thoughts in the evening and realized that my dwindling righteous thoughts were an indication that I had treated false appearances as real. I reflected on myself: “If I truly think these are false appearances, my heart should know for sure, and I should be worry-free.” However, I found that I was afraid of the pollen allergy because I had been tricked by my painful experience with it in the past.
Master told us,
“That’s because when you get scared you have fear, and isn’t that an attachment? And when your attachment comes out, shouldn’t you get rid of it? The more scared you are, the more the problem feels like sickness—that attachment of yours just has to go. It’s to have you learn a lesson and get rid of the attachment of fear, improving yourself. (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
“Let me give you an example. There was this person who was tied to a bed. They lifted his arm and told him that they would make him bleed to death. Then they blindfolded him, scratched his wrist (they didn’t make him bleed even a bit), and turned on a water faucet to have him hear the dripping sound. He thought that his blood was dripping, and in no time he was dead.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
A person’s attachment to fear can cause such terrible consequences! I had to get rid of my fear. I decided to abandon my notion; I realized that these are false appearances. If I continued to treat them as reality, my xinxing would be that of an ordinary person, and the symptoms would certainly appear to be an ordinary person’s allergies. Additionally, it would reflect my lack of faith.
I was tested once again when the symptoms from during the day returned in the middle of the night. I made up my mind not to acknowledge these false appearances and treat myself like an actress in a drama. My fear was gone. Even though I sneezed and my eyes were full of tears, I didn’t get disturbed and calmly repeated in my mind, “Falun Dafa is great. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is great.” Slowly, I fell asleep.
As soon as I got up the next morning, I started doing the meditation; it was interrupted by sneezing and a running nose. The meditation couldn’t continue like this. Master’s words came to my mind,
“Actually, I can tell you that when a person truly cultivates, a lot of abilities will emerge as soon as he starts practicing. You’ve already gotten to such a high level, so your abilities are already abundant.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I told my abilities to stop my nose from running. My nose amazingly stopped running, which gave me great confidence. My legs were in terrible pain during the last 10 minutes of my meditation, but I thought, “My karma has to be dissolved one way or another.” I persisted until the end with Master’s words in mind:
“It’s hard to endure, but you can endure it. It’s hard to do, but you can do it.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
The symptoms were gone for the entire day.
Master said,
“I think that as long as you study the Fa more, your righteous thoughts will be strong.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)
I realized that the only way to pass a test smoothly is to understand the Fa clearly and maintain strong righteous thoughts; the only way to sustain strong righteous thoughts is to study the Fa well. I studied one lecture and memorized one page during the day. Even though I didn’t feel well in the evening, I still managed to concentrate well while studying the Fa. As a result, I could treat my test in the middle of the night with righteous thoughts.
To summarize my experience of passing this test, we can’t treat false appearances as the truth no matter how real they appear to be; we can’t develop fear because of how terrible we feel, because fear will only add to the tribulation. No matter how hard it is, we will certainly be able to break through as long as we can change our notions and treat them with righteous thoughts.