(Minghui.org) I emigrated to Austria more than thirty years ago. In the earlier years, because of my weak physical condition, I started to practice many healing and fitness exercises. I thought I did experience some benefits, but upon delving deeper, I realized there was no deeper meaning to it, and thus considered it useless.
All of my old illnesses, as well as new discomforts appeared in my body in early 2020. Thinking that it might be because of my old age, I contemplated of practicing another form of exercise to get better.
As soon as this thought appeared in my mind, I remembered a self-media program host who claimed that he was a Falun Dafa practitioner. I thought to myself that Falun Dafa practitioners were likely very good, since the host looked well-educated, gentle, and decent.
I was first acquainted with the term Falun Dafa when I was still back in China. That year, I seemed to think of it when it was widely criticized in every newspaper and on all television channels. Since then, the term “Falun Dafa” was relegated to the back of my mind.
The second time was when we watched the Shen Yun performance in March 2008. My husband was gifted two tickets, and we went to Vienna to watch the performances. During intermission, a young woman walked over and introduced Falun Dafa to us. I was not able to get more information, as the time was very tight.
After learning that the host of the self-media program practiced Falun Dafa, I started to study Zhuan Falun online. I had a lot of mixed emotions upon reading this book. I felt very happy to have finally found what I was looking for, but it also pained me to see that I had been completely oblivious to Falun Dafa in the past. Zhuan Falun is a book that’s a blessing to Chinese people, and I had the urge to share it with my family and friends.
I am considered clumsy among my group of friends. Hence, when I called the people around me, and told them that Falun Dafa was great, I was quite reckless. This caused a negative impact on something that was meant to be good. My husband also started to have misunderstandings, and it was difficult for us to communicate for a very long time.
I then realized that it was my own problems that caused his misunderstandings. I became calmer and attempted to explain what I was doing. Although he still does not believe in Falun Dafa, he does help me at times.
I was not sure what cultivation was. In my mind, I regarded it as merely studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. This made me think that cultivation was rather easy.
It was not until I read some experience sharings on the Minghui website a couple of months later that I realized I was not really genuinely cultivating. I was not adhering to the principles of a Falun Dafa practitioner in daily life, and I started to look inward after recognizing my misunderstandings. I found many shortcomings, and came to realize that I had created a lot of karma in the past.
I used to tell my friends and family that I was only a step away from being a good person, and far from that of a bad person. However, after cultivating Dafa, I felt very ashamed to have even thought that way. In reality, I am only steps away from hell and far from that of a good person. Deep down in my heart, I was extremely grateful to Master.
I spent a lot of my time reading web fiction and online novels in the past. I stopped reading the novels after realizing that it was creating a negative impact on my cultivation. I still have another addiction – playing poker online. I would have equal amounts of wins and loses in the past, however, after cultivating I started to have more wins. I stopped playing as it frightened me to think that the evil was using this as a chance of taking away my virtue.
My physical discomforts vanished very quickly after I began to cultivate, and I’ve also slimmed down and feel very light. I felt discomfort in my throat when I tried to swallow one night. I knew I was eliminating karma, and that I was a cultivator. The pain disappeared when I laid down. I enlightened to the fact that Master is always by our side, reminding and enlightening us. I was no longer timid and overcautious, and was more dignified.
I started to sweat when I was practicing the third standing exercise one time. By the fourth standing exercise, I was getting very dizzy, and was unable to hear the exercise music properly. I kept telling myself that I was cultivating the most righteous Fa, Master was purifying my body, and I would only listen to Master.
When I returned to consciousness I was laying on the ground, and the fifth exercise meditation music had already started. I sat up and immediately vomited a black substance. After cleaning the floor, I felt a surge of pain on the top right of my head. I felt a big bump on my head and was very shocked since I did not know what caused it. There were traces of blood on the bump. I knew it was something that came to threaten my life because of my karma and Master had protected me. The next day the bump was no longer there.
Master said,
“When I teach the Fa, I often bring up the issue of jealousy. Why is this? It is because jealousy is displayed very strongly in China. It is so strong that it has become natural and one does not even feel it.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I was awakened one night due to heart pain, and realized that this was because of my attachment to jealously. I was shocked and asked myself: When did I get this attachment? Why is my attachment of jealously so strong? I was unable to find the root cause of this attachment.
I found several reasons after much thought. I was envious of other practitioners who obtained the Fa earlier than I did, I was envious of practitioners being empowered by Master, and I also felt that it was wrong for ordinary people to be protected by Dafa.
Master said,
“The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether you can complete cultivation practice. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I want to be a cultivator, and my attachment of jealously needs to be eliminated. Yet, I did not know how to eliminate these things, but after reading practitioners’ experience sharings on the Minghui website, I knew I needed to send forth righteous thoughts to get rid of it. After studying Zhuan Falun, Master’s other lectures, and persisting in sending righteous thoughts with other practitioners, my attachment of jealously was slowly being relinquished.
The community where I live is relatively small and there aren’t many people. I am grateful for Master’s protection and guidance, despite living in an an isolated area. I encountered local practitioners through whom I met young practitioners from China who had cultivated for a while. With their help and guidance, I learned to study the Fa and practice the exercises on the RTC platform.
By attending the RTC platform, I learned about making phone calls to awaken the conscience of sentient beings. It seemed rather easy in the beginning. I was fortunate to attend a training, and was grateful to all the practitioners who patiently explained and selflessly shared their experiences. Gradually I came to learn about what Dafa was, and why we needed to clarify the truth and have Chinese people quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations.
I distributed truth-clarification fliers in my village, but used to be very timid. I was afraid to go out in the dark and had a bad sense of direction in the past. I am now able to stroll freely on the streets during the evening, and do not get scared, because I know Master is protecting me.
There was a long period of time when I did not see any progress in making truth-clarification phone calls while other practitioners were improving. I was afraid and hung up the phone without even saying hello.
I was very upset and anxious. I started to call my friends I knew in China and clarified the truth to them. I also learned from other practitioners. But I still felt nervous making phone calls, and even with a script in front of me, I still made mistakes. All sorts of human thoughts cluttered my mind, such as being afraid of people picking up the phone, and being worried about not speaking well. The only thing I knew not to do was to quit.
I did not do very well when I first started making truth clarification phone calls. Master encouraged me by meeting predestined people, and I was able to be part of a team of practitioners who also began making phone calls. This enhanced my learning opportunity. With practitioners helping me selflessly, I am now able to clarify the truth.
I have yet to confront my attachment to fear, while other attachments such as my competitive mentality and being attached to certain preferences surfaced. In addition, I stressed out due to problems with my Internet and phone lines. However, deep down inside, I knew that Master arranged this cultivation environment for me. What Master arranged is definitely best for me, and I must overcome these tribulations. Though I was still afraid of making phone calls, I decided to prolong the time for making truth clarification phone calls with sending forth righteous thoughts. The results turned out better.
Master has been guiding me, and I need to cherish this opportunity. In the days to come, I will do my best to strictly adhere to the Fa and relinquish my attachment of fear. In the meantime, I’d also like to become more knowledgeable on making truth-clarification phone calls, and awaken the conscience of more sentient beings. I want to be able to assimilate into Dafa, and not let Master down.