(Minghui.org) I would like to share with fellow practitioners my recent experience with sickness karma. Please correct me if my understanding is off-track.
At dawn on October 28, I got up as usual at 3 a.m. to do my exercises. When I crossed my legs in the full lotus position to do the fifth exercise, I felt an intense stabbing pain in my left hip. I put up with it to finish off the meditation followed by sending righteous thoughts at 6 a.m. By then, I could not stand up because of the pain.
I’d never felt like that before. Regardless of how much pain I had in the past while sitting in meditation, a wonderful sensation would fill my body the instant my legs were uncrossed.
I was illegally detained in 2002 while distributing Dafa flyers and putting up banners. I spent two years in a forced labor camp. I did not forget Master’s teaching during that time:
“Amidst tribulation, the gold body is refined...”(“The Path to Divinity Is Difficult,” Hong Yin II, Translation Version B)
That was when I first started sitting in meditation for at least two hours at a time, and I have kept up with it to the present. I once sat in full lotus to meditate and study the Fa for an eight or nine hour stretch and continued right through the night. I never felt as bad as I did that day.
What could have caused that? I started to look within. All along, I had been very diligent–taking Fa-study seriously, sending righteous thoughts, and memorizing and hand-copying Zhuan Falun. I memorized the first three volumes of Hong Yin a long time ago, been through volume IV twice, and finished off volume V this year as well as other articles written by Master.
I have always persisted in sitting in the full lotus position while reading Zhuan Falun. I have been going out every day to clarify the truth to people face-to-face. I have been sending righteous thoughts not only at the four set times, but also at 7 a.m., 7 p.m. and from 2-3 p.m. Unless there are exceptional circumstances, I rarely missed a day of exercises.
I managed to survive through two illegal detentions because I memorized Master’s teachings. Master said,
“But for you, disciples of Dafa, you cannot let up in what you need to do—namely, the three tasks. By all means, you mustn’t. Nothing less than your mighty virtue, your cultivation, and all that you shoulder is bound up in these...This is especially true with Fa-study: you really need to study the Fa with utter seriousness.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
I also looked into how I’d handled my relationships with my family. We have four children. My eldest daughter lives nearby while the other three work out of town. They have read Zhuan Falun and are very supportive of our practice, including buying us anything we need to clarify the truth.
When my eldest daughter comes to see us, she tries her best not to take up our time and helps us with shopping and cooking. All my children and grandchildren are doing well. My two sons have good jobs and earn a comfortable living. Around Chinese New Year this year, they drove home, which took them a whole day, so they could take us back to stay with them.
They were very disappointed when I declined to go with them. I explained to them that there were still a lot of people out there who needed to be saved, and Master had endured a lot in exchange for the extra time we have to save people. I told them while I really appreciated their good intentions, I really could not waste the precious time I had on anything other than saving people. They took it quite well in the end. They drove back after staying with us for two days. They also left 2,000 yuan for us to spend on Dafa things. I was very grateful to Master for how things turned out.
While I could not find a reason for the interference with my hip pain, I did not for a second think that I was sick or being persecuted by the old forces; I left it all in Master’s hands. That same morning, I ignored the pain and went out to clarify the truth as usual. Together with two fellow practitioners, we helped over fifty people quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I took that as a sign of encouragement from Master.
When I got home around midday, my legs experienced painful spasms. I forced myself to eat some lunch before joining my husband to send righteous thoughts at midday. Less than 20 minutes into the full lotus position, the excruciating, stabbing pain very nearly forced me to uncross my legs. But what Master said came into my mind:
“Some people are afraid of the pain from sitting with the legs crossed, so they uncross their legs and don’t want to continue. Some people cannot bear it anymore after sitting a little longer. Once they take the legs down, their practice is in vain.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I felt terrible that I still fell short of the standard required of a Dafa disciple when time has almost run out for Fa-rectification. I strengthened my resolve and vowed to sit with my legs crossed for at least five hours today. My husband and I started to read Zhuan Falun together.
He had to leave after finishing one lecture, but I continued until I read three lectures and only uncrossed my legs after I sent righteous thoughts at 6 p.m. My legs actually felt worse when I uncrossed them because my belly was now bloated and hardened, making it impossible for me to eat anything.
Sleeping that night was just as agonizing, as every bone and muscle in my body hurt. I could not roll over or even touch my blanket without feeling a sharp pain shooting through my body. However, I insisted on getting up at 3 a.m. to do my exercises. Second by second, I put up with the tortuous pain and finished all five sets of exercises.
During that time, I didn’t miss a single day of doing the three things a Dafa disciple is supposed to do. One day, on my way out to clarify the truth, since my legs were weak and unsteady, I missed a step going down outside the gate and fell. Thanks to Master’s protection, I did not hurt myself. I got up unperturbed, and my only thought was that the fall offered me an opportunity to improve my xinxing. Two fellow practitioners and I worked as a team, and we always managed to bring home a long list of names of people who wanted to quit the CCP.
During this ordeal that lasted over ten days, I appeared a lot thinner because of a lack of appetite, but strangely enough my weight remained the same.
One morning while I was doing the second exercise, I suddenly felt warm steam pouring out from my belly and a warm energy circulating in my whole body. Instantly, I felt my belly deflating. I fully recovered and am extremely grateful to Master for the opportunity to improve my xinxing and for purifying my body.
I am also grateful to my husband for taking care of everything and giving me the full support I needed to do the three things and overcome this ordeal. Fa-rectification is nearing its end; no matter what happens, nothing will get in my way of saving people.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!